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Feeling pretty gutted
RE: Feeling pretty gutted
(October 16, 2015 at 4:08 pm)Alex K Wrote: How does this cutting out work if she is still talking to your mum as before?

There's nothing she can do about that. It's about taking charge of her own life and the kind of people she allows into it. As long as her goal was trying to get them to do this or that she was never able to find purchase for her own feet, much less influence them. Knowamsnae? Yes, you know.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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RE: Feeling pretty gutted
(October 16, 2015 at 4:45 pm)Rhondazvous Wrote:
(October 16, 2015 at 4:08 pm)Alex K Wrote: How does this cutting out work if she is still talking to your mum as before?

There's nothing she can do about that. It's about taking charge of her own life and the kind of people she allows into it. As long as her goal was trying to get them to do this or that she was never able to find purchase for her own feet, much less influence them. Knowamsnae?  Yes, you know.

Although all I was trying to "get them to do" was treat me with a minimum level of respect
and not sabotage my efforts to do well in school.
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RE: Feeling pretty gutted
Update:

Just had a long talk with my parents.

Upshot of it is this:

- Sister will still be allowed to visit whenever she likes, as long as it is no more frequently than every alternate weekend,
but due to her own scheduling concerns, she may not be able to come down sometimes for every three weeks, or possibly even every four.  Remains to be seen how that will play out, in reality.

- Sister will NOT be permitted to come and go as she pleases...meaning, she can come down for a visit when she wants, more or less, and she can stay as long as she wants to, but she must advise ahead of time how long the visit will be, and may not extend it beyond that specified duration...unless there is a damn good reason.  Her whims, emotional state and convenience do not constitute "a good reason".  A blizzard would constitute a good reason.

(That one was a major bone of contention...she always knew she was free to stay as long as she wanted, but she would deliberately say that she was only going to stay for four days, but then would, at the last second, change it to five or six or seven days, with total disregard for how that affected everyone else.  This will now stop.)

- Sister will not be permitted to be disregardful of coming to visit when she or fiance or son is infectious with an illness.
She will wait until infectious stage is passed, in everyone, before visiting.



HOWEVER,

Apparently she and her fiance are now considering not coming down at all.
As I feared, they are threatening to withhold the grandchild, basically.

Also remains to be seen.
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RE: Feeling pretty gutted
Ugh, using children as bargaining chips. I've heard that story before, how sad.

You've done so well and been brave to tackle this problem head on Smile Your sister has left you with no other choice.
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RE: Feeling pretty gutted
(October 17, 2015 at 10:41 pm)robvalue Wrote: Ugh, using children as bargaining chips. I've heard that story before, how sad.

You've done so well and been brave to tackle this problem head on Smile Your sister has left you with no other choice.

Thank you, Rob.

She hasn't of course come out and said "you can't see your grandchild"
but it's pretty thinly veiled.
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