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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Following the Good Book

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Following the Good Book
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#11
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 6:34 pm
Quote:HEATHEN! HERETIC! Your behavior is morally wrong and you will have to face judgment for your direct disobedience.

I'll risk the judgment, as I am NOT giving up cream cheese and lox.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Mermaid Offline
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#12
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm (This post was last modified: October 25, 2015 at 6:39 pm by Mermaid.)
(October 25, 2015 at 6:34 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
Quote:HEATHEN! HERETIC! Your behavior is morally wrong and you will have to face judgment for your direct disobedience.

I'll risk the judgment, as I am NOT giving up cream cheese and lox.

Boru

Oh SNAP. You're right. Can we amend our commandments to suit our personal agenda?

Or better yet, I can say "hahaha, (condescending look) that commandment is not to be taken literally, it's symbolic, sort of like forbidden fruit"
If The Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

-Homer Simpson
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Ravenshire Offline Donators
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#13
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 7:26 pm
(October 25, 2015 at 6:28 pm)Mermaid Wrote:
(October 25, 2015 at 6:22 pm)Aoi Magi Wrote: Awww... but I love grilled fish and cheese!

HEATHEN! HERETIC! Your behavior is morally wrong and you will have to face judgment for your direct disobedience.

Meh. I do crock pot pulled pork all the time. Pork loin and a bottle of "Sweet Baby Ray's" (add water to cover) and simmer till the BBQ is a little thicker than it was before you added the water. Onions and mushrooms optional (I always add 'em). Too damned easy this way.
Thief and assassin for hire. Member in good standing of the Rogues Guild.
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Mermaid Offline
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#14
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 7:27 pm
Try it with pork shoulder.
If The Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

-Homer Simpson
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brewer Offline Donators
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#15
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 7:52 pm
It used to be Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Times change. I now have a wife. Books have become useless.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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Jackalope Away
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#16
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 9:31 pm
(October 25, 2015 at 4:56 pm)Mermaid Wrote: Christians commonly ask atheists how they know what is moral without the Bible to guide them. Ok, so as a non-believer, I can't subscribe to the scripture in the Bible. I choose a book after which to model my life and my moral fabric.
I choose The Joy of Cooking as my scripture. My commandments:

-Thou shalt not undersalt the risotto.
-Thou shalt not mix cheese and fish
-Thou shalt not overcook the pork loin, and anyone who cooks a pork loin in a Crock Pot shall be stoned to death
-Thou shalt precook the sausage in the stuffing before stuffing the turkey, or thou shalt suffer disease and pestilence
-Thou shalt not leave frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw or suffer the wrath of E. coli
-Thou shalt not cut raw chicken and then cut raw vegetables with the same knife on the same board, or you shall suffer diarrhea for forty days and forty nights
-Thou shalt wash your hands after handling poultry
-Thou shalt not use shitty wine in sauces nor margarine nor processed cheese
-Thou shalt not use nondairy creamers, for they are an abomination

What is your Good Book?

So, no tuna melts?
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Jackalope Away
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#17
RE: Following the Good Book
October 25, 2015 at 9:32 pm
(October 25, 2015 at 6:34 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
Quote:HEATHEN! HERETIC! Your behavior is morally wrong and you will have to face judgment for your direct disobedience.

I'll risk the judgment, as I am NOT giving up cream cheese and lox.

Boru

We'll apparently burn in hell together.
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Mermaid Offline
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#18
RE: Following the Good Book
October 26, 2015 at 8:24 am
(October 25, 2015 at 9:31 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote:
(October 25, 2015 at 4:56 pm)Mermaid Wrote: Christians commonly ask atheists how they know what is moral without the Bible to guide them. Ok, so as a non-believer, I can't subscribe to the scripture in the Bible. I choose a book after which to model my life and my moral fabric.
I choose The Joy of Cooking as my scripture. My commandments:

-Thou shalt not undersalt the risotto.
-Thou shalt not mix cheese and fish
-Thou shalt not overcook the pork loin, and anyone who cooks a pork loin in a Crock Pot shall be stoned to death
-Thou shalt precook the sausage in the stuffing before stuffing the turkey, or thou shalt suffer disease and pestilence
-Thou shalt not leave frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw or suffer the wrath of E. coli
-Thou shalt not cut raw chicken and then cut raw vegetables with the same knife on the same board, or you shall suffer diarrhea for forty days and forty nights
-Thou shalt wash your hands after handling poultry
-Thou shalt not use shitty wine in sauces nor margarine nor processed cheese
-Thou shalt not use nondairy creamers, for they are an abomination

What is your Good Book?

So, no tuna melts?

No tuna melts. They are Satan's dinner.
If The Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

-Homer Simpson
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vorlon13 Offline
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#19
RE: Following the Good Book
October 26, 2015 at 9:46 am
Before swallowing, it's appreciated if you ask about snowballing.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Spooky Offline Donators
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#20
RE: Following the Good Book
October 27, 2015 at 6:46 pm (This post was last modified: October 27, 2015 at 6:52 pm by Spooky. Edit Reason: Why the hell is the font so big? STUPID Phone! )
The Soldier's Guide (FM 7.21-13, October 2003)






1. Thou shall have no other branches before the Army.

2. Thou shall not take the name of thy Supply Sgt in vain.

3. Remember to keep your rifle clean.

4. Honor your brothers and sisters.

5. You shall not draw fire. (It irritates those around you)

6. You shall not commit to anything.

7. There is only one thief in the Army. (Everybody else is just trying to get their shit back)

8. You didn't see anything.

9. You shall not covet the Air Force's toys.

10. Your equipment was made by the lowest bidder, don't whine about it.

...or something like that [Image: tongue.gif]
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion v
Following the Good Book

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