Following the Good Book

[Mermaid]

Christians commonly ask atheists how they know what is moral without the Bible to guide them. Ok, so as a non-believer, I can't subscribe to the scripture in the Bible. I choose a book after which to model my life and my moral fabric.
I choose The Joy of Cooking as my scripture. My commandments:

-Thou shalt not undersalt the risotto.
-Thou shalt not mix cheese and fish
-Thou shalt not overcook the pork loin, and anyone who cooks a pork loin in a Crock Pot shall be stoned to death
-Thou shalt precook the sausage in the stuffing before stuffing the turkey, or thou shalt suffer disease and pestilence
-Thou shalt not leave frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw or suffer the wrath of E. coli
-Thou shalt not cut raw chicken and then cut raw vegetables with the same knife on the same board, or you shall suffer diarrhea for forty days and forty nights
-Thou shalt wash your hands after handling poultry
-Thou shalt not use shitty wine in sauces nor margarine nor processed cheese
-Thou shalt not use nondairy creamers, for they are an abomination

What is your Good Book?

[Faith No More]

I live by the book of Ganja.

-Thou shalt not combust unless otherwise necessary. Vaping is the only true way to heaven.

-Thou shalt only consume the green. Brick-weed is an abomination.

-Thou shalt not bogart the stash. Puff, puff, pass.

-Thou shalt not spill the bong-water. Doing so is punishable by going on a munchies run.

-Thou shalt harsh your neighbor's mellow. Buzzkills are abominations.

[Longhorn]

I live by the smartphone instruction.
Thou shalt plug in the charger lest thy battery dies and all that.


....and other shit I didn't read. Just like xtians and the bible!

[robvalue]

My good book is the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I aspire to be like Arthur Dent.

[Mermaid]

My good book is the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I aspire to be like Arthur Dent.

Thou shalt not panic?

[Faith No More]

Thou shalt not panic?

Don't forget your towel.

[Minimalist]

This is all we need...

 

you heretical bastards.

http://www.venganza.org/2010/06/carters-...le-recipe/

Carter’s Holy Noodle recipe

[Aoi Magi]

Christians commonly ask atheists how they know what is moral without the Bible to guide them. Ok, so as a non-believer, I can't subscribe to the scripture in the Bible. I choose a book after which to model my life and my moral fabric.
I choose The Joy of Cooking as my scripture. My commandments:

-Thou shalt not undersalt the risotto.
-Thou shalt not mix cheese and fish
-Thou shalt not overcook the pork loin, and anyone who cooks a pork loin in a Crock Pot shall be stoned to death
-Thou shalt precook the sausage in the stuffing before stuffing the turkey, or thou shalt suffer disease and pestilence
-Thou shalt not leave frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw or suffer the wrath of E. coli
-Thou shalt not cut raw chicken and then cut raw vegetables with the same knife on the same board, or you shall suffer diarrhea for forty days and forty nights
-Thou shalt wash your hands after handling poultry
-Thou shalt not use shitty wine in sauces nor margarine nor processed cheese
-Thou shalt not use nondairy creamers, for they are an abomination

What is your Good Book?

Awww... but I love grilled fish and cheese!

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The Commandments Of Proper Public Behaviour

1.  If thou plannest to tip less than 20%, eat at home, as thou art a cheap fuck.

2.  Render aid to those in distress, and do not standest there like an idiot and video them with thy phone.

3.  UNLESS others are in distress, mindeth thine own business.

4.  Before thou complainest to the management, evaluate the seriousness of thy complaint (cold toast doth not merit a screaming fit).

5.  Speak ye not aloud in the cinema, nor remove thy shoes.  Thou are not at home.

6.  The proper response to 'Thank you' is 'You're welcome', not 'No problemo'.

7.  Understand that others may not share thy musical tastes.  Turneth it down.

8.  Flush, for fuxxake.  Others wilt make use of the public bog after thee.

9.  Drop not thy rubbish in the road.  Find a bin.

10.  If thou maketh texts whilst driving, do not complain if a large, angry Irishman shoveth thy phone up one of thy primary orifices.

Boru

[Mermaid]

Christians commonly ask atheists how they know what is moral without the Bible to guide them. Ok, so as a non-believer, I can't subscribe to the scripture in the Bible. I choose a book after which to model my life and my moral fabric.
I choose The Joy of Cooking as my scripture. My commandments:

-Thou shalt not undersalt the risotto.
-Thou shalt not mix cheese and fish
-Thou shalt not overcook the pork loin, and anyone who cooks a pork loin in a Crock Pot shall be stoned to death
-Thou shalt precook the sausage in the stuffing before stuffing the turkey, or thou shalt suffer disease and pestilence
-Thou shalt not leave frozen ground beef on the counter to thaw or suffer the wrath of E. coli
-Thou shalt not cut raw chicken and then cut raw vegetables with the same knife on the same board, or you shall suffer diarrhea for forty days and forty nights
-Thou shalt wash your hands after handling poultry
-Thou shalt not use shitty wine in sauces nor margarine nor processed cheese
-Thou shalt not use nondairy creamers, for they are an abomination

What is your Good Book?

Awww... but I love grilled fish and cheese!

HEATHEN! HERETIC! Your behavior is morally wrong and you will have to face judgment for your direct disobedience.