Butt Wiping Techniques

[Iroscato]

Where is the option for not wiping at all? :3

[vorlon13]

I haven't bothered to quiz Steve on what technique he uses, I'm pleased with the results, and importantly for Steve, so is he.

[Catholic_Lady]

^ Haha Butters.

I use a three step process. No look/check is necessary. Sitting down. I cannot imagine a world in which people stand up to wipe their butts.

Step 1) About 5-10 sheets of TP, balled up, to do the heavy duty work.

Step 2) Baby wipe. <--- This is the most important step.

Step 3) 2-3 sheets of TP to pat the bootyhole dry.

I use baby wipes sometimes too but they can get expensive so sometimes I have them, sometimes I don't. When I do have them, I follow your technique pretty closely. I wipe with TP until there is no trace of poop on the paper, then I wipe with baby wipe to wash the butt hole, and then I wipe again with more TP to dry it.

[SteelCurtain]

I use baby wipes sometimes too but they can get expensive so sometimes I have them, sometimes I don't. When I do have them, I follow your technique pretty closely. I wipe with TP until there is no trace of poop on the paper, then I wipe with baby wipe to wash the butt hole, and then I wipe again with more TP to dry it.

I find them to be cheaper than TP itself. Plus they allow you to use less TP. I pay like $4.50 at Target for 82 baby wipes. That lasts me about 3 months.

[Exian]

Standing!? Balled up!? What the hell!? Standing means you gotta do all sorts of weird contorting, and balled up? How the hell do you control it!? I do the old hand wrap.

I took a shit next to an Amish dude once. He did not fuck around. Once he was done, I heard the toilet paper unroll, get wadded up, then vigorous back and forth swishing *swish-swish-swish-swish*, then belt buckles. Just like that. He basically rubbed it in and got on with it. I imagine an arid desert was the result. I don't know how they get any work done.

[vorlon13]

Steel Curtain:

How much cheese do you eat ????????????????????

[downbeatplumb]

Now that we have broken the taboo of #2 here in AF, it is time we address this very important issue.

After you poop, how do you wipe? Please vote up top.  

Also, not included in the poll is this: 

When you wipe, do you look at the toilet paper to see if there's any poop on it, and then keep wiping until the toilet paper comes off your butt clean? Or do you just go with your gut without looking and hope all the poop residue is off your butt?

Please vote up top, and then answer this question about the poop residue.

I'm starting to think you may have a problem.

[brewer]

Sitting, TP balled/crumpled up as opposed to folded. Put more surface area on the whole/hole. Compare it to using snow tires vs racing slicks when there is a substance on the road.

I think more important is the direction of wipe. Are you an inside to out person or vice versa? This is probably more important to women than men.

[robvalue]

I never get off the toilet, so it doesn't comes up.

[Catholic_Lady]

Sitting, TP balled/crumpled up as opposed to folded. Put more surface area on the whole/hole. Compare it to using snow tires vs racing slicks when there is a substance on the road.

I think more important is the direction of wipe. Are you an inside to out person or vice versa? This is probably more important to women than men.

Inside to outside. Otherwise known as "front to back." 

More hygienic that way.