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(February 4, 2016 at 2:37 am)ignoramus Wrote: What does one do when they have the runs?
(Start wiping from the ankles up?)
So, very rarely do I stand straight up and wipe. What I usually do, especially if I have the runs, is stand up slightly so I am still positioned over the toilet, in what is effectively a squat position. That way you can reach back and wipe without having to put your hand into the toilet bowl, and yous ass is still over the toilet so any...drippage...is dealt with.
This.
When we say we stand up to wipe, we don't mean we stand straight up. It's really a type of squat.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
February 4, 2016 at 8:06 pm (This post was last modified: February 4, 2016 at 8:25 pm by scoobysnack.)
(February 4, 2016 at 9:31 am)pocaracas Wrote: Are you sure you want to know?
While still sitting, I lift one side of myself, usually the right side, thus allowing clear access to the dirty bit.
The toilet paper is 2-ply and 2 squares are usually all that's required.
Fold the first square so you get a rectangle of 4-ply and wipe the majority of the dirty bit, going from the front to back.
Fold that rectangle onto the next square to hide away the goo and repeat, but now, from back to front.
Fold again and repeat, front to back.
At each of these wipings, check is the toilet paper is coming out dirty... if not, it's done!
If there's still some gunk after the third fold, then bring out the heavy gun: wet tissues. Same technique, but you fold the tissue in half with each go... until you can fold it no further.
Then, more toilet paper to remove that wet feeling.
All done and clean.
Oh man, you use entirely too little toilet paper, to the point I bet you get shit all over your hands. Are you trying to save trees or something? I buy the high quality stuff, not that sand paper stuff they use in the third world. I use like six squares at least for each cleansing motion. If you and I were taking battle shits in stalls next to each other, there's no way I could spare you a square haha. Although I would feel comfortable shaking anyone's hand immediately after crapping without washing my hands due to proper wiping techniques with the rational ratio of squares, I'd fear shaking your hand after defeating you in battle shits.
In many countries they don't have toilets. Public restrooms have a hole in the floor for everyone to squat at. What a bunch of savages! Here in the first world, we have a throne to sit on and contemplate the important decisions in life.
Funny thing is everyone looks at their toilet paper after each wipe at all shit smeared on it!
Another interesting factoid learned on the history channel, was that way back in the day people used to wipe with their left hand before there was toilet paper because most people were right handed and ate their food without silverware, and that's one reason you shook hands with your right hand to avoid getting the other persons crap all over you. Another reason was to show you didn't have a weapon in your dominant hand. Funny how the inventor of the toilet was Thomas Crapper, and now his name is synonymous with crap.
(February 4, 2016 at 9:31 am)pocaracas Wrote: Are you sure you want to know?
While still sitting, I lift one side of myself, usually the right side, thus allowing clear access to the dirty bit.
The toilet paper is 2-ply and 2 squares are usually all that's required.
Fold the first square so you get a rectangle of 4-ply and wipe the majority of the dirty bit, going from the front to back.
Fold that rectangle onto the next square to hide away the goo and repeat, but now, from back to front.
Fold again and repeat, front to back.
At each of these wipings, check is the toilet paper is coming out dirty... if not, it's done!
If there's still some gunk after the third fold, then bring out the heavy gun: wet tissues. Same technique, but you fold the tissue in half with each go... until you can fold it no further.
Then, more toilet paper to remove that wet feeling.
All done and clean.
Oh man, you use entirely too little toilet paper, to the point I bet you get shit all over your hands. Are you trying to save trees or something? I buy the high quality stuff, not that sand paper stuff they use in the third world. I use like six squares at least for each cleansing motion. If you and I were taking battle shits in stalls next to each other, there's no way I could spare you a square haha. Although I would feel comfortable shaking anyone's hand immediately after crapping without washing my hands due to proper wiping techniques with the rational ratio of squares, I'd fear shaking your hand after defeating you in battle shits.
I'm sure my way works really well and I manage to keep shit away from my hands.
Not really looking forward to having any shitty battle...
(February 4, 2016 at 8:06 pm)scoobysnack Wrote: Oh man, you use entirely too little toilet paper, to the point I bet you get shit all over your hands. Are you trying to save trees or something? I buy the high quality stuff, not that sand paper stuff they use in the third world. I use like six squares at least for each cleansing motion. If you and I were taking battle shits in stalls next to each other, there's no way I could spare you a square haha. Although I would feel comfortable shaking anyone's hand immediately after crapping without washing my hands due to proper wiping techniques with the rational ratio of squares, I'd fear shaking your hand after defeating you in battle shits.
I'm sure my way works really well and I manage to keep shit away from my hands.
Not really looking forward to having any shitty battle...
With migrants being invited into Europe to dilute the culture and destroy the national identity of the nations, some do not know how to use a toilet, so they have to develop a new toilet to prevent them from crapping on the floor. I don't mean to be ethnocentric, but the idea of bringing in mostly military aged males who have very different values, it's a suicidal mentality to invite your enemy into your home.
(February 4, 2016 at 1:20 am)Tiberius Wrote: Y'all a bunch of weirdos, sitting on the toilet to wipe. How is that even possible? I tried it once and it's just ridiculous.
I feel the same way. I tried it after learning that most people do it that way, and it doesn't provide great access at all. The back of the toilet seat is right there, so it's hard to get your hand in there all the way to do a thorough wipe.
Try leaning. I'm a righty so I lean left. But then I got a relatively small ass so just a little lean clears one cheek for easy access.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
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