Cranked up the amp and jammed some Rush -- goddamn, my electric chops are rusty, but it sure feels good to have some ringin' ears.
Hope the neighbors are copacetic.
Hope the neighbors are copacetic.
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Current time: April 27, 2024, 6:50 pm
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How's Everyone Feeling Right Meow?
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Sad :c
"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. For if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes unto you."
I think I'm running a fever. My temp was normal at the Dr's but I'm freezing now.
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
Stuffed.
Had a T-bone at Longhorn tonite. Had some out of town visitors and decided we needed some good grub. Got off cheap, 2 steaks were comp'd when they screwed up the order, didn't have to ask, they just did it. The one steak that was still edible they even sent home, LOL. Cat #1 is going to be bribed with pieces of it during the next week to maintain feline order in the house. The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
My blood pressure was elevated at the doctor's yesterday. Runs in the family. He didn't try and push medication on me, which made me like this doctor. Diet first. I am waiting on the rest of my bloodwork.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<--- 
Feeling pretty good, just did my weigh-in for my first four weeks of dieting - I exceeded my goal by 0.9 lbs. Time to set new goals. :D
Feeling uncertainty. I mean... I know what I want. I want it. The thing is that I feel selfish for wanting it and it just seems irresponsible, drastic, and impulsive. I don't do things that way. Not anymore, anyway. It took me a decade to start from zero after decisions I made basing myself on churchy reasons. A decade later, I finally paid most of the life consequences tab (some will be forever). Irrational decisions cost me a decade. If I ever make a decision that doesn't fit into my life goals plan, I want to make darn sure that I thought about all the outcomes and that I'm willing to pay the price. My two kids are not a price I'm willing to pay. Not their happiness. Not their trust.
So, it all comes down to that. If I do this thing I want, what does that lead us to? Where? Ultimately, what are the expectations afterwards and how will it affect them? Is it probable? Is it doable? Is it reasonable? Is it safe? Is it affordable? In all aspects. Can it be done by adjusting the means? I'm thinking maybe same ultimate result, but different strategy. How many benefits would be compromised by doing so? How much would be gained? I'm uncertain. I need more facts. I went to more than 27 schools growing up. My childhood didn't feel safe, certain, stable. I promised my babies since they were little rug rats that they would have stability. How unstable is a nudge? How much of a nudge is a slow dance? Really. In all honesty, I don't know. This is why I'm feeling uncertainty. In actuality, this is more of a thought process than a feeling process. I'm not an expert in managing feelings, but I'm damn good at systematic thinking. Funny. I don't like planning trips too much (I like to leave room for random), but when it comes to decisions, I like to have a map of every possible route, every crease, and every exit and entrance. It just seems so... uncertain... any other way. I was told to think about it. Oh, I'm thinking. I have literally been making maps of everything my brain is processing. Some say it comes with age. I think it came with the kids. You know that thing they say about us parents wanting our kids to have it better than we ever did? Dude. So true. So fucken true.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Feeling like it's good to not have a headache after being headachey all day. I'll sleep well tonight
Sunburnt. Another hot day on the beach
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