A question for atheists

[British_Atheist]

This is an honest question, to see if my parents actions/views would be commonplace among other atheists. I know this is not a big enough sample, but go with me here, please. If they don't apply, go wih a hypothetical, please?

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

[Zen Badger]

Having raised 6 kids to adulthood I might be reasonably qualified to answer.

1/ As I was raised, with no input whatsoever. I let them find their own way.

2/In fact, one of my daughters did join a church, I said nothing as she is an adult. After a couple of months she realised

what a lot of bullshit it was and gave up.

3/ How do you think I should react? I love my kids always. I might not like the things they choose to do but I will always love them.

[xangelusx]

I recently answered a similar set of questions that asked on Formspring. Here was my reply:

Are you raising your kids as athesist? If so how do you explain religious holidays like Christmas and Easter to them? How do they answer questions about their lack of religion?

First, let me preface this by saying that I don't believe anyone has the right to raise their kids _as_ anything. There's no such thing as a Republican baby, and one should be very careful about labeling a child as Muslim, Christian, etc. I myself am very careful to say that I'm raising my children in an atheist home, just as I say I'm raising them in a vegetarian home. I am an atheist, my children are simply the children of an atheist. Whether or not they choose to identify as atheist (or vegetarian for that matter) when they are older is up to them.

And not to get too far off on a tangent, but one of my biggest gripes with religion is that each practice blatantly targets children with their message. It's indoctrination at the earliest levels without any counter arguments or balance. Children are taught to listen to adults because they have the answers, so when an adult tells a child that there's a heaven and a hell and a god and a devil the child takes it as "fact" unquestioningly. After a decade and a half of that sort of indoctrination it's very difficult to slip into a mindset of objective reasoning. No wonder parents have a hard time accepting when children leave "their" faith. But that's just it - it was never their childrens' faith, just theirs.

Now, back to your questions.

We don't hide from Christmas for many reasons. For starters, Christmas has pre-Christianity origins as a celebration of natural events. (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#P...background) In fact, modern day Christmas has very little to do with the Christian holiday other than being its namesake. Christmas trees, Santa Clause, and plenty of other yuletide traditions (not to mention the deluge of commercialism and consumerism) have no religious origins. (See http://atheism.about.com/od/christmashol...itions.htm for more examples.) Personally, we celebrate Christmas because it's a familiar tradition for my wife and me, and because we enjoy celebrating it with our families and our children. We just don't celebrate the religious components.

As for Easter, one could easily argue that this is very much a Christian holiday with no pagan origins. However, once again modern culture has added it's own traditions that have no religious origins - namely easter bunnies, eggs and "Peeps", those sugar coated marshmallow harbingers of cavities. A secular observer could then easily argue that they celebrate Easter as a festival of new life, renewal, Spring, etc. Personally, I prefer to celebrate Spring as it arrives and not on any particular Sunday in April. My children do however get Easter baskets from their grandparents, and I'm OK with that as long as they pay the obligatory Dad Tax of a few jelly beans and chocolate.

On to your last question.

My kids don't have a lack of religion, at least not as far as they are concerned. They've been raised without religion and without a belief in any god(s). They aren't "missing" anything.

To be clear, we don't hide religion from our children. We talk openly about it with them when it comes up, and we explain as best as we can given their ages. (Honestly, religion is such an abstract concept that it's nearly impossible to explain objectively to a five year old.) In regards to biblical figures and stories, we give them the same weight that we give to Greek mythology and other stories. When they get older, it will be important for us to help them understand the concept of religion and the practices of some of the major sects, not just so they can make their own decisions about it when the time comes but also because it's culturally relevant and they need to understand how it affects various elements of society.

If you'd like more information on raising secular families, I recommend visiting http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/. You're also welcome to ask me more questions.

[KichigaiNeko]

This is an honest question, to see if my parents actions/views would be commonplace among other atheists. I know this is not a big enough sample, but go with me here, please. If they don't apply, go wih a hypothetical, please?

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

glad to oblige.

As truthfully as they can understand at the time of their questions. Example: "Yes sweetheart there are fairies at the bottom of our garden" for a two -four year old.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

Let them go. This is assuming that they are of an advanced age ... say 14yo or older.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

I would not feel happy about it and would like to know the real reason why they wanted such support. Having gotten a reason I would acknowledge it as their point of view and like football world cups and grand finals never mention it again. I did raise them to be thinking individuals, and won't be surprised when they find out what a load of crap religion really is...unless they did it for the love of their life...then still it is their choice and I have to respect that

[Eilonnwy]

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

I'd be honest with them, I'd tell them what I believe and why, but I wouldn't insist they believe what I believe. My main focus would be to try to teach my children critical thinking so that when they are of the age to make their own decision, they will hopefully have an appropriately logical approach.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

I'd encourage it, though I would try to emphasize a need for critical approach. But ultimately, I value knowledge, and while I may disagree with religion it's important to learn about it because it's very prevalent in the world. I'd say it's like learning about the holocaust. I don't support what was done but I understand the value in knowing what happened and why.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

I would definitely be sad, but who wouldn't? Any parent would hope their child will come to the same conclusion as them, but I would hope to do so with reason and critical thinking rather than indoctrination. However, ultimately, if they chose religion I would still love and support my child. A parent doesn't have to agree with every decision his or her child makes in order to be loving and supporting.

[Minimalist]

I have 2 sons, 33 and 30. Both were raised sans religion.

Neither have ever expressed any interest in gods or religion.

[VoiceOfReason]

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

Wait until they are mature enough to draw their own conclusions. If it comes up before then- which is likely in a society where it is everywhere- try to explain it without biasing them.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

Depends on the age. If a 6-year old wanted to go to church because a friend said they'd go to hell if they don't, then absolutely not. I want to avoid all kinds of childhood indoctrination, including my own opinions. If a 16-year old wanted to see what it was about, then I'd let them explore.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

It's be disappointed. Let's be honest here- I think religious people are usually either stupid or intentionally deceiving themselves. Would I get upset with them? No. Their life, their choices. I may think they're being stupid, but I wouldn't stop them from finding their own stupid way!

[Ace Otana]

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

I'd raise them in a secular enviroment but will not pressure them to go either way when it comes to religion.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

I'd be ok with it. Though I will make clear my position if they feel the need to talk about religion all the bloody time. Other than that, they are free to explore what ever they wish.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

I'd be ok with that. Just as longs as they don't shove their beliefs don't peoples throats. They would be free to believe in whatever they want. Even if it's an invisible flying cuboard in the sky.

[binny]

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

I raised them without any religion or spirituality. I thought it was best for them to make up their own minds as adults.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

I would let them, but inside I would be screaming 'WHY?'.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

It's their choice. I would love them no matter what, but inside I would be screaming 'WHY?'.

[Scented Nectar]

This is an honest question, to see if my parents actions/views would be commonplace among other atheists. I know this is not a big enough sample, but go with me here, please. If they don't apply, go wih a hypothetical, please?

1. If you have/had children, how would you raise them with regards to religion and spirituality?

I don't plan on having any, but if I did, I would teach them about religions and about why people believe in them. I would teach them to be skeptical and question things. I would teach them about evidence versus faith, stuff like that.

2. How would you react if they wanted to explore religion?

I would be shocked, and ask a lot of questions, the types we ask believers here on the internet. I would concentrate my efforts more than on the net though, since my kid would of course be more important to me.

3. How would you react if they came to a belief in a deity or deities, and converted to a religion?

Anger, sadness, and a furious effort to (verbally) shake some sense into them.