Man created god

[Sappho]

To be clear, I am neither atheist nor theist, rather do I succeed in seeing the beauty in both.

You either believe in a god or gods (theist or perhaps deist) or you don't (atheist). There is no third position. Gnosticism/agnosticism doesn't address the question of belief; it addresses one's knowledge claim or lack thereof.
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Perhaps you're thinking of "atheist" in terms of strong (or gnostic) atheism? Most atheists, in my experience, are agnostic atheists.

You're right, I'm sorry. English is a foreign language for me so sometimes I mess up connotations.

I guess, by how you explain it, I belong with the agnostic atheists, and yes I sometimes tend to comparise the word atheism with gnostic atheism. I find the word atheism sound so rude, like you deny the existance completly, but that's just me