Opening up about being mentally ill

[Faith No More]

His experiences do need to be cheapened though. He needs to do it himself though, that's the whole point. I'm not trying to belittle him.

This is probably going to derail the thread entirely, so could one of the mods split this if it gets too far off tangent.

Okay, EP, impart some wisdom on me. Why exactly do my experiences need to be cheapened? Keep in mind, once again, you have no idea what my experiences are exactly.

[Kitty Galore]

EP-my post was my post, it was what I was going to say and was not related to what you were posting.

It's all good.

[rexbeccarox]

Chronic, Major Depression is the name of my game. I don't have conscious memory of it not existing in me. I'm unmedicated and in the worst episode of my life, which has lasted now approximately five years... and it's only been getting worse. No one in my family suffers from it (my dad did, but he died almost nine years ago), and neither do my friends, so it's hard to get people to understand. At least they try, though, so I'm very lucky.

[Jackalope]

Back to what the thread is for.

I don't have a current pic to post (currently sitting in the urgent care waiting room, to get some help for a current crisis).

I'm 48, and I've suffered from mental illness since I was a teenager, possibly earlier. Misdiagnosed as major depressive disorder in 198? and subsequently subjected to ineffective treatment, I was properly diagnosed as having bipolar disorder type 1 about 7 years ago and post-traumatic stress disorder some time later. While I'm currently going through a crisis, I have had relatively long periods where I was symptom free.

[Losty]

Thank you whatevs heh. I feel old. I'm only 26 though. I'd say that PTSD is the worst and the anxiety is definitely worse to deal with than the depression. The problem is, for me at least, it's usually the depression that amplifies the other two issues. I get into a funk and everything goes down hill from there. Now there are also times when major triggers just make me completely lose my shit for a while. In those times I generally end up in the hospital. But I've been working really hard at learning ways to deal with triggers so I can try to live a mostly normal life.


@EP I'm sorry if I overreacted to you. Your advice just seems so...offensive. You shouldn't tell people to take their recovery more seriously if you have no idea how seriously they take it.

The other thing is you seem to be looking at mental illness as an equivalent to a broken arm instead of a more logical comparison like diabetes. There's no recovery from mental illness. There's only steps you can take to alleviate the symptoms.

I think to a point I get what you're trying to say. We don't need to define ourselves by our illness. I am Losty, not PTSD girl. But at the same time I thin what the OP is trying to say is that we don't need to be ashamed of having a mental illness. People need to stop seeing mental illness as something to hide away and feel shame for.

[KevinM1]

[Joods]

His experiences do need to be cheapened though. He needs to do it himself though, that's the whole point. I'm not trying to belittle him.

How about you stop acting like an asshole for once.  You do this to every fucking thread you post in and it's getting quite aggrevating.

[Brakeman]

Lol, I had been in three mental hospitals, tried a dozen medications and went through one suicide attempt at your age, EP.  I'm 36 now.

I know what I'm doing well enough to know I don't need platitudes from teenagers.

You just need to "cheer up" and start thinking positively!  /sarcasm


Seriously, as a step father, uncle, and son-in-law to people battling mental illness I am aware of the scope of the challenge.

There is a continuing day to day fight that consumes most people's energy but there is also a long term fight that seems to get lost completely, in my family at least.

My step daughter and my nephew are in their twenties and very early thirties. and they both have in common a history of commitments. My step-daughter's last episode was so severe at times she could do nothing more than thrash around, incapable of self feeding, walking, or going to the bathroom, yet she just left 5 minutes ago to try to take her driver's license test again and she does so well in her daily battle with a 2 drug combo that no one on the outside knows that there is any issue with her. My nephew just got out of commitment about 3 weeks ago and is still within that early stabilization period, but he's already back in college trying to fit back in.

My issue with their pathway to recovery is their retention of what I term "bipolar" goals. either they are going to be the best artist, actor, musician, or writer, or they are going to be a failure. Nothing in between, no attainable milestones to be used as stepping stones. I am unable to convince their caregivers, my brother and his family or my wife that this desire to be Artistic is toxic to a person battling mental illness. I push that they should instead push for utilitarian goals such as carpentry, masonry, business, auto repair, and the like. These types of goals and lifestyles have daily rewards and success is virtually assured with effort as opposed to the ten thousand to one chance of being a New York Times best selling author.

I wake up every morning just fine with the knowledge that I am not going to be heralded on the big screen or in print, Ever! I am happy to just be a excellent automotive brake design and manufacturing engineer. I am not one to compare myself too much with other brake engineers with the exception that I need to be good enough not to get fired. I am aware that how well I do depends entirely on how much effort I spend at helping my company.

My non-solicited advice is to make sure that you do not hold the bigotry against utilitarian pathways and the people that choose them as my relatives have if this is your case too. I encourage you to find stepping stones to the station in life for which you will honestly accept. My relatives are stuck at the crossroads where the only paths to  acceptable successful lives are ones that are ridiculously long shots and without in-progress rewards and are absolutely littered with suicides, drug abuse, depression, and other mental issues. If you want to see a wasteland of human misery look at the hidden entertainment industry.  They do not choose other "utilitarian" paths because they don't "love" them. They have an unrequited love affair with an imagined career where they are the star. They cannot considered other success pathways that are "beneath" them. They are too talented for the construction industry, too artistic for the manufacturing industry, and too talented a writer for the financial sector. This delusion of grandeur is a bi-polar stumbling block to metal health in my opinion. I contest to my family that the sweet feeling of satisfaction and public acknowledgment of displayed utilitarian skills and effort would go far to relieve the internal anxieties felt by those battling mental illnesses.

I hope you can find your pathway filled with good solid stepping stones.

[Faith No More]

I guess I could elaborate on what I've experienced since my OP didn't really cover my experiences. I think my depression started at 13, but it wasn't full-blown and diagnosable until I was sixteen. That's also when I was hospitalized for the first time. I missed twelve days of high school in a loony bin. I was in and out of hospitals for years, and I had a very serious suicide attempt at 19. At 22 my best friend killed himself, which landed me a shitload of PTSD and much more depression. Five years later another good friend of mine from high school died, and I hit rock bottom once again.

It took years of no job and little stress to be able to work on myself to control it. Once I did that, there was a honeymoon period where I felt great about life, because I could control my depression very well. But life has its ways of beating you down, and here I am, feeling the tip of the iceberg I know is below. The thing is that I'm wiser now, and I can recognize when things are going downhill and have to change what I am doing to avoid that downward spiral you can get trapped in.

[KevinM1]

EPs advice isn't completely unfounded. My brother from another mother (we share the same exact birthday) is bipolar, and keeping incredibly busy does help him out. It's not a cure, obviously, but it's definitely a helpful component of his overall treatment (including medication, a healthier diet than he had in high school, regular exercise, etc).

While he still has his moments (mostly fueled by his work, mother, and younger brother - the last two really know how to push his buttons), he's doing a lot better living in another state with a sweetheart of a fiancée. She's exactly the kind of support he needs.

All that said, obviously everyone is different, so what may work for my friend and EP may not work for others. Also note that I'm not trying to say that any particular person in this thread has/has not tried to increase their activity load, or any thing else about their treatment. Just relaying an anecdote.