Opening up about being mentally ill

[robvalue]

Another thing that can be hard to understand...

I've found it quite possible to both be completely in love my wife and as happy as I can be with our relationship, yet I'm still so depressed I want to die. For someone who doesn't get this, she could take that very personally. But I explained it to her in detail, and she does understand. The depression is not a logical, objective assessment of the condition of your life. It's an illness. So I urge anyone who knows a depressed person not to wonder why "they aren't enough" for them to be happy. It's just not like that.

Communication, I would say, is the key. It's amazing my wife stuck by me, and she said it wouldn't have been possible had I not been totally open and honest. The instinct of the depressed person can be to push everyone away, but that's the worst thing you can do. I've realized that it wants you isolated, so it has you to itself.

[Faith No More]

My wife has just gotten to the point that she's given up trying to understand it. She's just come to realize that there's something going on in my head that she can't comprehend, so she tries to just be supportive. Over the years I could say I've put her through hell, and the fact that she's been so good to me just makes me love her more. But no one will ever say being married to a depressed person is easy.

[robvalue]

It is indeed asking a lot for someone else to understand it, when the depressed person themself often doesn't understand it particularly well. Your mind is your identity, and when there's something "in there" screwing around with it, things stop making the same kind of sense that they normally would.

[*Deidre*]

Another thing that can be hard to understand...

I've found it quite possible to both be completely in love my wife and as happy as I can be with our relationship, yet I'm still so depressed I want to die. For someone who doesn't get this, she could take that very personally. But I explained it to her in detail, and she does understand. The depression is not a logical, objective assessment of the condition of your life. It's an illness. So I urge anyone who knows a depressed person not to wonder why "they aren't enough" for them to be happy. It's just not like that.

Communication, I would say, is the key. It's amazing my wife stuck by me, and she said it wouldn't have been possible had I not been totally open and honest. The instinct of the depressed person can be to push everyone away, but that's the worst thing you can do. I've realized that it wants you isolated, so it has you to itself.

This advice and insight is pure gold, seriously. SO many people tell depressed people to 'suck it up,' or 'get over it,' or 'look at your life, it's awesome.' It's just not like that, agree. Hugs.

[robvalue]

Thank you

I agree, totally. If you tell a depressed person to "get over it" you may as well tell them to sprout wings and fly to the moon.

[Easy Guns]

Thanks for telling your story.

I have suffered from chronic depression since grade school, and possibly manic depression. Doctors within a 4 hour drive from me all have around a 8 month waiting list to even be seen, so I end up completely unmedicated.

[Jackalope]

@Easy Guns

I'm really sorry to hear of your difficulties. I can understand not bothering them get on that list, but it may be for the better if you did.

@All

I went into urgent care for a follow-up to the visit last week. I'm now in inpatient treatment. Surprisingly, they let me keep my smartphone, the only rules are to shut it off during group and no photos or talking about who else is here to protect patient privacy.

My name is Cthulhu, and I am a patient in a mental hospital. I am the face of mental illness, and I will not be silent any longer.

[Faith No More]

Oh, wow, I'm really sorry to hear that, CD. I don't even know what to say. I hope you can find what you need there. It's good to see you have the strength to accept your illness, though.

I'm starting to feel like I need to check myself in, too. I'd forgotten how dark my mind can get. Waiting for the meds to bring me back to the light hurts.

@Easy Guns, Hang in there, man. We can find strength in our acceptance that we truly have an illness. Stay strong.

[Jackalope]

Thanks, FNM. I'm here because I need and want to be. I haven't been on medication in four years, and now I need to get back on them. You know how that can go, I'd wager.

Probably going to need to some time on short term disability and whatever happens here will establish that.