Should Gender Stereotypes be challenged?

[The Grand Nudger]

I'd like to ask a question to my fellow males:

Why does some people, especially men, despise some qualities of masculinity such as aggression and competitiveness?

Isn't that what makes us men? Why should we deny these qualities that makes us who we are? I mean like I don't see, and I don't mean to offend anyone, any females despising their feminine qualities or anyone advocating them to be more masculine?
Is it really a bad thing to be a man?

IDK, you'll have to ask those pansies why they feel that way.  

[Kingpin]

I'd like to ask a question to my fellow males:

Why does some people, especially men, despise some qualities of masculinity such as aggression and competitiveness?

Isn't that what makes us men? Why should we deny these qualities that makes us who we are? I mean like I don't see, and I don't mean to offend anyone, any females despising their feminine qualities or anyone advocating them to be more masculine?
Is it really a bad thing to be a man?

What do you think it means to "be" a man?  It sound like you have an idea that is most likely going to fall in to the stereotypes you outlined in the OP.  Throughout generations this definition of what it was to "be" a man has changed.  In the Victorian era, this was what was expected to "be" a man:

Victorian social etiquette for gentlemen in the presence of ladies:

• Stand when a lady enters a room.
  
• Stand when a lady stands.
  
• Offer a lady your seat if no other seat is available.
  
• Assist the lady with her chair when she sits or stands. Especially at a table.
  
• Retrieve dropped items for a lady.
  
• Open doors for a lady.
  
• Help a lady with her coat, cloak or shawl.
  
• Offer to bring a lady refreshments if they are available.
  
• Offer your arm to escort a lady (with whom you are acquainted) into or out of a building or a room at all social events, and whenever walking on uneven ground.
  

Basic social rules of things a gentleman should never do:

• Never refer to another person by their first name in public.
  
• Never curse or discuss “impolite” subjects when ladies are present.
  
• Never leave a lady you know unattended, except with permission.
  
• Never use tobacco in any form when ladies are present.
  
• Never greet a lady in public unless she acknowledges you first.
  

Is this what it means to "be" a man, or are these reserved for "gentlemen".  Being a pompous neanderthal in my book is not "being" a man.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

I'd like to ask a question to my fellow males:

Why does some people, especially men, despise some qualities of masculinity such as aggression and competitiveness?

Isn't that what makes us men? Why should we deny these qualities that makes us who we are? I mean like I don't see, and I don't mean to offend anyone, any females despising their feminine qualities or anyone advocating them to be more masculine?
Is it really a bad thing to be a man?

What do you think it means to "be" a man?  It sound like you have an idea that is most likely going to fall in to the stereotypes you outlined in the OP. Throughout generations this definition of what it was to "be" a man has changed.  In the Victorian era, this was what was expected to "be" a man:

Victorian social etiquette for gentlemen in the presence of ladies:

• Stand when a lady enters a room.
  
• Stand when a lady stands.
  
• Offer a lady your seat if no other seat is available.
  
• Assist the lady with her chair when she sits or stands. Especially at a table.
  
• Retrieve dropped items for a lady.
  
• Open doors for a lady.
  
• Help a lady with her coat, cloak or shawl.
  
• Offer to bring a lady refreshments if they are available.
  
• Offer your arm to escort a lady (with whom you are acquainted) into or out of a building or a room at all social events, and whenever walking on uneven ground.
  

Basic social rules of things a gentleman should never do:

• Never refer to another person by their first name in public.
  
• Never curse or discuss “impolite” subjects when ladies are present.
  
• Never leave a lady you know unattended, except with permission.
  
• Never use tobacco in any form when ladies are present.
  
• Never greet a lady in public unless she acknowledges you first.
  

Is this what it means to "be" a man, or are these reserved for "gentlemen".  Being a pompous neanderthal in my book is not "being" a man.

Yes, I did mean the stereotypical characteristics. Why is there a negative aura attached to those qualities in a man?

[Losty]

Just do you and don't let people tell you you can't because you have a hoo ha/peepee. That's my philosophy.

via Imgflip Meme Maker

[Losty]

Isn't that what makes us men?

I think your and my definitions of 'man' are worlds apart, because in my funny little world what makes a man a man is a penis and/or male gender identity. I really don't see why you need to possess specific personality traits to be considered a man, but...hey.


Point being, be you. If you're aggressive and dominant or whatever, fucking go for it. Good for you. Just don't go around telling other people what they're supposed to be. That's called being an asshole.

QFT

[Clueless Morgan]

Don't be so hostile Vic, I'm asking a reasonable question to my fellow males. This is just a discussion and I'm trying to keep it civil.

... I didn't think Vic's response was hostile at all.

[Ben Davis]

I'd like to point out that gender stereotypes was not magically imposed by someone.

Well, that's exactly the thing; they are. Some shallow observations have been made and a generalisation has resulted, memegenic enough to propagate and exploitable enough to use as a eugenic construct. Stereotypes change and the current ones are in transition in western, Euro/Americised nations. In the meantime, these unrealistic imagaries are the cause of much grief and that must be called out.

These stereotypes(or rather characteristics) were formed as a result of thousands of years of evolution.

So you think. What about aspects, emergent from chromosomatic differences, which aren't on your lists? Why shouldn't they be included? Would your views of gender change if the stereotypes were different? And in spite of all that, so what? Isn't the immediate impact of these stereotypes the important thing rather than their origin/source?

For example:
...women are often expected to be passive, loving and caring, while men are usually expected to be aggressive, protective and dominant.

You can expect whatever you like! If you're not paying attention to the discrete behaviour of the individual, you're going to run in to trouble.

I guess my point is, these characteristics are not a result of gender stereotyping...

Sometimes they are. Do you know how many people have had their lives made miserable in some way by authorities/peers trying to enforce stereotypes? I'd hate to try and put a number on it! Sometimes people are forced to change their behaviour & personalities in order to fit the enforced views; they literally repress themselves and hide behind publically acceptable masks.

So is it really smart to challenge them?

Yes because they're not only inappropriate in a modern, Euro/Americised context but they're demonstrably harmful.

[drfuzzy]

---

What do you think it means to "be" a man?  It sound like you have an idea that is most likely going to fall in to the stereotypes you outlined in the OP. Throughout generations this definition of what it was to "be" a man has changed.  In the Victorian era, this was what was expected to "be" a man:

Victorian social etiquette for gentlemen in the presence of ladies:

• Stand when a lady enters a room.
  
• Stand when a lady stands.
  
• Offer a lady your seat if no other seat is available.
  
• Assist the lady with her chair when she sits or stands. Especially at a table.
  
• Retrieve dropped items for a lady.
  
• Open doors for a lady.
  
• Help a lady with her coat, cloak or shawl.
  
• Offer to bring a lady refreshments if they are available.
  
• Offer your arm to escort a lady (with whom you are acquainted) into or out of a building or a room at all social events, and whenever walking on uneven ground.
  

Basic social rules of things a gentleman should never do:

• Never refer to another person by their first name in public.
  
• Never curse or discuss “impolite” subjects when ladies are present.
  
• Never leave a lady you know unattended, except with permission.
  
• Never use tobacco in any form when ladies are present.
  
• Never greet a lady in public unless she acknowledges you first.
  

Is this what it means to "be" a man, or are these reserved for "gentlemen".  Being a pompous neanderthal in my book is not "being" a man.  

---

Yes, I did mean the stereotypical characteristics. Why is there a negative aura attached to those qualities in a man?  

Because they are linked to violence, domination and abuse of others, abuse of power, and the idea that "might makes right".  Now, in a perfect world, strength and aggression would only be celebrated in the context of sport - but that isn't the case.

[Losty]

As for the OP, I don't think gender stereotypes should be challenged. I think they should be ignored. Not everyone wants to go against the stereotypes. People should just be whoever they are regardless of their gender.

[Brian37]

What do you think it means to "be" a man?  It sound like you have an idea that is most likely going to fall in to the stereotypes you outlined in the OP. Throughout generations this definition of what it was to "be" a man has changed.  In the Victorian era, this was what was expected to "be" a man:

Victorian social etiquette for gentlemen in the presence of ladies:

• Stand when a lady enters a room.
  
• Stand when a lady stands.
  
• Offer a lady your seat if no other seat is available.
  
• Assist the lady with her chair when she sits or stands. Especially at a table.
  
• Retrieve dropped items for a lady.
  
• Open doors for a lady.
  
• Help a lady with her coat, cloak or shawl.
  
• Offer to bring a lady refreshments if they are available.
  
• Offer your arm to escort a lady (with whom you are acquainted) into or out of a building or a room at all social events, and whenever walking on uneven ground.
  

Basic social rules of things a gentleman should never do:

• Never refer to another person by their first name in public.
  
• Never curse or discuss “impolite” subjects when ladies are present.
  
• Never leave a lady you know unattended, except with permission.
  
• Never use tobacco in any form when ladies are present.
  
• Never greet a lady in public unless she acknowledges you first.
  

Is this what it means to "be" a man, or are these reserved for "gentlemen".  Being a pompous neanderthal in my book is not "being" a man.

Yes, I did mean the stereotypical characteristics. Why is there a negative aura attached to those qualities in a man?

Because in reality evolution is not a script. Humans are individuals, not sheep. 

It is ok for example, for a women to go to a nude beach. It is ok for a women to cuss. None of those things are saying it is ok in all contexts. A man cant strip naked on a public bus. Nor is it ok for women or men to shout cuss words at a kindergarten class.  It is also ok for a man to cry. It is also ok for a man to be financially supported by a woman. What matters is CONSENT, not who does what.

There is nothing negative about telling someone to mind their own business. Unless you are involved you have no say. Clear enough for you?