I almost got into an accident and it's been on my mind all day...

[Veritas]

I'm currently taking a driver's educational class with an instructor and an observer. I take turns with the observer and observe for an hour while they drive for an hour then we switch. After I switched to driving and getting about 55 minutes into my turn... we came to a two way stop... but I thought it was an all way stop. I looked right briefly and then left... no one appeared to be coming so I proceeded. (Quick note: The cars they use are modified to have a break on the passengers side incase the instructor needs to make override your decision) A car came blazing from the right and I felt and heard him slam on his brake right before me. I then heard "You could have killed us" from the instructor and to "be more careful." I'm not sure why... but I can't stop thinking about this incident... not just the words he said but the fact that this is real life and I could have (not likely) killed someone and all the blame would then shift to me. So my question is... how can I get this off my mind? :/ Thanks! (NOT PTSD)(  feminism)

[robvalue]

I'm very sorry to hear that

I think the instructor's words were unecessary and unprofessional. You're still learning. I was hopeless, my instructor had to engage his brake and saved our lives about 20 times a lesson. It's exactly what it's there for.

Sometimes people drive like loonies, and even when you've done all the safety checks it can still go sideways. It sounds like he just happened to see the car coming quicker than you did and so reacted faster.

My advice is don't be too hard on yourself, but I know what the feeling is like. Sure, you "could" have killed people, if the situation was totally different and he wasn't in the car. But if he wasn't in the car, you'd have passed your test already and you'd have much more experience and confidence. So in that particular situation, the only danger was the instructor failing to react.

[Veritas]

I'm very sorry to hear that

I think the instructor's words were unecessary and unprofessional. You're still learning. I was hopeless, my instructor had to engage his brake and saved our lives about 20 times a lesson. It's exactly what it's there for.

Sometimes people drive like loonies, and even when you've done all the safety checks it can still go sideways. It sounds like he just happened to see the car coming quicker than you did and so reacted faster.

My advice is don't be too hard on yourself, but I know what the feeling is like. Sure, you "could" have killed people, if the situation was totally different and he wasn't in the car. But if he wasn't in the car, you'd have passed your test already and you'd have much more experience and confidence. So in that particular situation, the only danger was the instructor failing to react.

Thank you. That makes me feel much better!

[robvalue]

You're most welcome

[SteelCurtain]

It seems the driving instinct is different or lessened in other places. I barely remember my driving test, and we used my mom's Corolla. I had my license at 16 and have never looked back. Weird.

Veritas, there is a reason the guy is there in the car with you. It would likely have been a fender bender if there was an accident from a two way stop at a cross street. I think the guy was a little reckless with his choice of words, but it's good that it sticks out to you, because you'll remember it for a while too to come. Which makes that session a worthwhile lesson.

[Alex K]

I was a very bad drivers ed student. I needed 10^x lessons. My instructor hit his passenger brakes more than once and gave me "the look". I almost failed my practical exam and got scolded by the guy who administered it. I've now driven over 15 years and hundreds of thousand miles without accident , I've driven ambulances with emergency signal on, trucks and tractors, while others who got perfect marks frequently ran into dangerous accidents. Maybe because they weren't warned like you and overestimated themselves. Forget about it. In a years time noone remembers.

[robvalue]

Yeah, I was fucking awful. In my first driving test, I think I got about 10 major faults. It's a damn good job he didn't pass me, even though he was a miserable bastard. This was after well over a year of lessons.

Many more lessons later, and my second test... I almost passed. I did one stupid thing that he had to fault me for. Third time was the charm! I'm definitely a better driver for having fucked up and getting more practice before being let out on my own. I've gone from hopeless, and never thinking I'd ever be able to do it, to not causing an accident in 20 years of driving.

[SteelCurtain]

I missed a point on my written exam. 19/20. Terrible.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

How to get it off your mind? The only sure solution is to actually kill someone. Once that's done, almost killing someone fades into insignificance.

Seriously, though, try not to beat yourself up over a mistake made while learning. My guess is that, in future, you'll take more time, be more aware of the road signs, and of other drivers. Learn from your mistakes - that's what they're there for.

Boru

[Gawdzilla]

If anybody wants to feel better about the drivers in their area I recommend watching Russian Dash Cam videos on Youtube. (Unless you live in Russia, then I feel sorry for you.)