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So I asked a guy out on a date...
#11
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
I say talk to him directly. Tell him you are more than flattered by the attention and think he's a great catch; you're just not interested in such a relationship at this time, for personal reasons. Tell him that if he needs a wingman, you'll help him find guys any time he wants, or buy him a drink because you're his friend and no other reason need be.

If he was so bold as that, then he sounds like a little direction could do him a lot of good. He doesn't need to know that you know nothing about picking up guys... but you can make him a better person, and a better catch, by showing him what it is to respect everyone equally, treat them right, not just go for easy scores, etc., just as you would if teaching him to look for a female mate.

Also - You handled it well, but I'd be surprised if you weren't hit on again in the future. It's a new age. I mean, I'm really straight, and I think you're clearly a very attractive guy. So, can you blame the kid? Really!

Edit to Add: And before anyone makes any "I knew it!" jokes, I am comfortable in my sexuality, which unfortunately is heterosexual Kinsey 1 (I say "unfortunately" because I get hit on by guys damned near twice as often as by women, in part because I work with a gay-related charity organization, and those come-ons do me no good... I think it would be nice to have the option), and I have rejected as much of the internalized homophobia as the society in which I was brought up allows possibility. In prison slang, "Hey man, I have zero 'plex." I have realized that the camaraderie that women often share, in which they can honestly assess how "hot" the other looks and share physical contact without having to mumble, "no homo", was something masculine culture needed to re-establish. I have made an effort to become comfortable with this aspect of the world, and it really has improved my life... drives me crazy when I hear cisgendered hetero WASPs whining about it, when it clearly stems from their terror at what lies beyond the door of 100% Acceptance. They use their religion to shield them from that terror, but I opened the door, and I like it on this side! Smile
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost

I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.

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#12
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
If I were this guy, I'd save face by suggesting that you misread the hand holding.

"Dude, you thought I was making a move? Because I held your hand? Ha ha...That's crazy, bro!
Where do you get this stuff, dude? Seriously."

Then I'd just casually begin swinging hands with anyone who happened to be nearby.
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#13
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
Well, the fact that he said yes should have been the clue, since he has no interest in sports. Yes, you are oblivious.

If you cannot foresee yourself having a relationship with him and if you do not have any romantic feelings toward him, you must, must, must inform him of the truth. He will be hurt, I was hurt when I was younger, but he will get over it. Just don't be mean. Be as gentle as you can.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#14
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
I told him as much, as gently as I could (while also being very clear) on the awkward ass ride to his apartment.

I want to still be friends, but I can understand if he doesn't/can't do that.
(May 1, 2016 at 12:47 am)Thena323 Wrote: If I were this guy, I'd save face by suggesting that you misread the hand holding.

"Dude, you thought I was making a move? Because I held your hand? Ha ha...That's crazy, bro!
Where do you get this stuff, dude? Seriously."

Then I'd just casually begin swinging hands with anyone who happened to be nearby.

Lol I'd roll with it if he did that!
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

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#15
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
My obliviousness is more in relation to finding myself attracted to straight guys. Sad, but true.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#16
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
I think saying just what you wrote here would be apt.

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#17
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
How did he take it, Steel?
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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#18
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
Wow, oh dear!

I'm not sure what to say here. I guess it depends on how the guy is acting now.

If he seems like he's figured out the blunder but seems okay, then maybe it's better not to rub it in his face. If he's caught on but seems uncomfortable, then maybe some reassurance would be in order that he didn't do anything wrong and you just didn't realise what was happening.

If he's still acting like there could be some romance involved, then I'd say let him down gently.
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#19
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
(May 1, 2016 at 2:22 am)The_Empress Wrote: How did he take it, Steel?

I'm not sure if there's a double entendre here (Tongue), but I haven't talked to him since I dropped him off. I don't want to push him away by badgering him. I'm going to give him the "walk with me" after our exam on Monday just to clear the air. Tell him again that I'm not offended or weirded out by it at all. I'll probably tell him I spent the whole weekend worrying about him, and didn't want to freak him out by calling or badgering him. We're good, I want to remain friends if that's what he wants as well.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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#20
RE: So I asked a guy out on a date...
So as to not hurt his feelings, I would have told him: sorry mate, not tonight, had Indian for dinner just before, and it could get messy, if you know what I mean!
Give him a little wink and leave it at that ... hehe
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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