Take some fucking responsibility!

[Wyrd of Gawd]

On the contrary I'm a very compassionate and logical person.  I can understand why a woman would want to forgive her husband for such an act against her.  But, as for me, the second time it happened I would drive a couple of steak knives through his eyeballs when he was sleeping.  There wouldn't be a third time and it sure as hell wouldn't last for years under any circumstances.

That's neither compassion nor logic.

As H.L. Mencken observed in 1926 = "The great masses of men, though theoretically free, are seen to submit supinely to oppression and exploitation of a hundred abhorrent sorts. Have they no means of resistance? Obviously they have. The worst tyrant, even under democratic plutocracy, has but one throat to slit. The moment the majority decided to overthrow him he would be overthrown. But the majority lacks the resolution; it cannot imagine taking the risks."

[The Valkyrie]

Hey!  Whose kids are these!?  If you don't settle them down, I am going to give each of them a bag of candy and a puppy!

[Losty]

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here.  Was Wyrd of Gawd always this fucking insane?  Have I just not seen his other horrific posts?

The poster ratted herself out.  I responded to her comment based on common sense and the norms of our society.  She claimed that she had been raped countless times.  So if she wasn't confined she was a willing participant and kept putting herself in the very position that she claims was so horrible for her.  That indicates a total lack of good sense.  Fully grown adults are supposed to have sense enough to protect themselves.  Sure, she could have been a legitimate victim of the first rape.  That wouldn't be her fault.  But to go on and constantly repeat the experience over the course of months or years is simply stupid.  There are countless people she could have reported her situation to and received the necessary help to remove herself from danger.  

I'm not giving gold stars to stupid people.  If people don't want to be considered to be stupid then they should stop ratting themselves out for doing stupid things year after year.  

Everyone does something stupid once in a while.  But people quickly learn from their mistakes and change their behavior to protect themselves.  The poster was a slow learner and the experiences must have been tolerable.  Now she has buyer's remorse.   And the thread is about "taking some fucking responsibility!"

Well technically I was only 16 the first time he raped me and 17 when I married him at the insistence of my parents. I did initially try reaching out to family and church members and even my pastor. But I was constantly told it was my fault. I get what you're saying though, honestly I do. I've said in other threads before that I regret not having left sooner. I spent a long time blaming myself too. But the truth is, regardless of my own stupid choices, he still raped me and beat me among other things. I am not responsible for his actions. I didn't make him do those things to me. That was his doing. All this being said despite the fact that you are just trolling because you're a Douchenozzle, of course.

[Losty]

That too of course. He's also a homophobic sexist racist and overall bigot who overestimates himself, underestimates others and fills these forums with his vile nonsense.

I have some good qualities.  I don't make long-winded personal attacks on other posters like they make on me.  The problem with so many people is that they go bat shit crazy when someone expresses an opinion that they don't like.  It doesn't matter what the subject is.  If someone goes against the hive mind he catches hell for daring to have his own opinion.  Maybe when people start threads on internet forums they should tell people what to think and to post only comments that agree with the OPs opinion.

Your posts feel pretty personal attacky to me, but what do I know

[Wyrd of Gawd]

The comment was "I was married to a guy who raped me pretty frequently over several years until I finally got out of there."

So yes, she was a willing participant.

So...there is no such thing as an abusive relationship?  No woman (or man) has ever stayed with an abusive, controlling partner out of fear for their life?  Noone has ever had their children, their safety, their family, or their livelihood held over there heads in order to keep them complacent?  It can take victims years to gather the emotional fortitude to leave their abuser.  Probably longer for those who don't have the support of friends and family.

 So to summarize: Because it took Losty some time to figure out how to save herself, she somehow deserved it?  Or, by your logic, was not ever being abused in the first place?  Hammy is right.  Your logic sucks, but your empathy is practically non-existent...

Here's a tidbit for your consideration:

"Sometimes for the victim there is also a sense of familiarity and comfort in an abusive relationship, which is why victims will often return to an abusive relationship or, leaving one, will unconsciously seek out another."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enl...ationships

As a side note, the problem with ratting one's self out on a thread is that it distracts from the original subject.  The poster should have started a separate thread about her experiences and we wouldn't have gone down the rabbit hole on this one.

[Losty]

I still don't know how I ratted myself out? Ratted myself out for what? And you're the one who is turning the conversation away from the op. "The poster"'s post was relevant when "the poster" made it.

[Thumpalumpacus]

but I don't know that that sexuality cannot find another form of expression hurtful in and of itself.

The same can be said for any sort of dangerous tendency.  Violence, for example.  We don't take time to disable every violent offenders' arms and legs on the chance that they use those for violence in prison.  The rapist is already locked in prison for (hopefully) a hugely significant portion of their life.  I don't see who it helps, or what problem it solves, to castrate them. It's cruel, and it's unusual, it shouldn't be done.

Yes, I understand you feel that way about it. But I think there's a significant difference between disabling someone who goes to jail for fighting, and disabling someone who has a psychological issue which might well be incurable, don't you? Fighting, as a behavioral response, seems much more curable than molesting. Because of that, I think your own comparison is a little weak.

[Gemini]

I have some good qualities...

Yeah but you're still an ass. Don't worry I'm not going to make a long-winded post full of personal attacks against you. Just expressing my opinion.

You're an ass.

[Edwardo Piet]

I know someone close to me who I won't name who suffered emotional, verbal and physical abuse and is far from an idiot. This person is highly intelligent and empathetic but they have also blamed themselves for not leaving their situation sooner. It's very common for victims of abuse to not report their attacker. In fact it's part of the controlling and manipulative emotional abuse to make the victim feel like they can't. It's part of the abuse.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Nope. Logic fail.

The comment was "I was married to a guy who raped me pretty frequently over several years until I finally got out of there."

So yes, she was a willing participant.

You seem ignorant of the vicissitudes of life. We sometimes get caught in a web and cannot escape so easily as some dickweed online might imagine.

Oh, well -- you'll understand when it happens to you. Lack of empathy breeds lack of empathy, and you will one day learn this. And when that happens, don't ask yourself for whom the bell tolls -- it tolls for thee ... even when you're too stupid to understand that much.

You're being a cunt. But I don't expect you can stop doing that, now can you?