Scrupulosity and being an atheist

[WolfsChild]

I need help ...my OCD Is driving me mad ...thoughts are telling me am evil for being an atheist...on top of that my voices are saying am evil as well
am on medication for my mental health problems  sometimes it helps some days it dont 
with the OCD am going in circles with my mind ...weather i should see my lgbt friends any more because its bad to be gay or trans 
then i  say am going to go and see my friends 
Am not the most rational person i am going to a mindfulness course on Monday 
sorry if my spelling is bad my spellchecker isnt working right with this forum 
...i dont have a therapist just my psych  and dr 
the OCD is Scrupulosity and am doing something that scares me a lot ...

[robvalue]

I'm sorry to hear this is getting to you

I would say to consider what evil actually means. To me, the only thing makes any sense is doing (unnecessary) harm.

Is being an atheist harming anyone? No, and also it's not a choice. It's just a reaction to reality as we perceive it.

Are LGBT people hurting anyone just by being what they are? Does it hurt anyone to be friends with them? Again, no.

It sounds like you may have the religious version of evil (doing things that upset God) still knocking around in your head. If there is any kind of God, no one knows what would upset it, and I don't see why it should be of any concern. Surely he can take care of himself.

I made a video sort of on this subject, maybe it will help:

https://youtu.be/4W0mJ7svsKk

[WolfsChild]

Thank you for replying to me and thank you for posting your video 
that made me realizes that i really should be scared of something that could or couldn't exist like you said in the video there could be infinity  amount of Gods 
i cant keep them all happy  i need to stay on this forum ...my husband said the last  few days since joining here for 2 days my mental health was better 
then i went on to the religious forums and its started to get bad again ...i think i should just use this forum  
Am so use to praying ...but am going to find something else to do apart from that normally i listen to christian music but am changed it to a uk gay radio station its dance and sometimes i listen to rock ( use to listen to christian rock )  
I need to be more logical about things  mindfulness helps as well  i need to tell myself that nothing bad will happen if i dont pray 
Also my OCD makes me want to hurt myself and others  but i have gotten better with the hurting others part my husband still has to come with me everywhere 
and because of the rest of my mental health 


i love my LGBT friends and i dont think there evil because i know they have never harmed anyone and are nice people 
i am going to stick around here 

[Minimalist]

thoughts are telling me am evil for being an atheist

Nah.  "Evil" would be if you burned down a nursing home full of dementia patients.  Or shot up a nightclub.

You have merely opened your eyes and are now having to deal with all the bullshit that was thrown at you before you did so. 

Junking bronze age superstitions is not "evil."  As a matter of fact, its quite good.

[robvalue]

Thank you for replying to me and thank you for posting your video 
that made me realizes that i really should be scared of something that could or couldn't exist like you said in the video there could be infinity  amount of Gods 
i cant keep them all happy  i need to stay on this forum ...my husband said the last  few days since joining here for 2 days my mental health was better 
then i went on to the religious forums and its started to get bad again ...i think i should just use this forum  
Am so use to praying ...but am going to find something else to do apart from that normally i listen to christian music but am changed it to a uk gay radio station its dance and sometimes i listen to rock ( use to listen to christian rock )  
I need to be more logical about things  mindfulness helps as well  i need to tell myself that nothing bad will happen if i dont pray 
Also my OCD makes me want to hurt myself and others  but i have gotten better with the hurting others part my husband still has to come with me everywhere 
and because of the rest of my mental health 


i love my LGBT friends and i dont think there evil because i know they have never harmed anyone and are nice people 
i am going to stick around here 

You're very welcome It sounds like you're getting your thoughts in order! I hope you do stick around here, there are lots of lovely people who are very understanding.

It's great you are going to mindfulness, it's something that has helped me a lot too.

[ignoramus]

Please keep away from religious forums.
Needing to go there in the first place is just a lingering leftover from the disease.

Do not feed it...

[Thumpalumpacus]

If you must be scrupulous, be scrupulous in giving the benefit of the doubt. It may be more difficult for you personally, but it's fairer to those you'd presume to judge.

[Losty]

Absolutely continue to work with your doctors. Good luck

[WolfsChild]

Thank you for  your hugs and advice  
instead of going to church at night am  just going hang out here and talk to you nice people 
 ... am doing that today  need to do the washing and other house but ill get it done then  hang out here 

[robvalue]

Sounds like a good plan, I'm glad you're enjoying it here

Please keeping talking to us, so we can support you