new atheist need advice

[Aoi Magi]

Don't spring it all on them at once, you might want to start off by throwing some questions their way, the same ones that got you thinking. Who knows, maybe you'll put a tiny crack in the dam or at least be able to gauge their reactions before the big reveal.

Welcome to the forum!

[drfuzzy]

You sound like a younger me. (No offense intended - I'm middle-aged.) I was raised Pentecostal - my parents started out Southern Baptist and just kept moving more to the right wing.  (Or rather, more insane, take your pick.)  When the doubts started piling up, I did also look elsewhere for some type of spiritual meaning - Paganism, Buddhism.  But as lovely as those people were, there were still problems with the dogma. You just hit a spot where you CAN'T believe. 
    It kind of feels like burning down a house, then trying to decide what to build in its place.

Be very careful about telling people.  Consider their possible reactions first.  Drop hints, maybe . . . such as how the "Great Flood" not only tells a story of genocide, and a god who says that he screwed up (and then, after the flood, screws up in the very same way all over again) but how science has conclusively proven that such an event could never have happened.  But be careful.

[Brian37]

Lots of reading to do if you expect to handle debates with theists online.

1. The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
2. God The Failed Hypothesis, Victor Stenger
3. The New Atheism, Victor Stenger
4. The End of Faith, Sam Harris
5. Letter To a Christian Nation, Sam Harris
6. God Is Not Great, Christopher Hitchens
7. Infidel, Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Others will add their lists.

Useful terms to know.

The Fallacy of Pascals wager
The problem with infinite regress

Scientists you should get familiar with

Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Brian Greene
Lawrence Krauss
Richard Dawkins

Useful websites along with this one to pick brains.

http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com

http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/


But one general thing you should know. Debate a wide variety of religions worldwide, and you will find over time, they all do the same two things. They either try debunk science, or when they cant do that, they try to claim that science matches their religion. Been at this 15 years and have debated not only Christians, but Jews and Muslims and even Hindus and Buddhists.

Hope that helps.

[Pat Mustard]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

 If you had been a Christian to start with you wouldn't be living with this guilt now, would you! Seems that being honest with yourself to start with (before your supposed de-conversion) would have you searching out why you lived so long in a Christian environment and never found the way to Christ. Maybe the real question for you is why are your parents so certain and you were not.
Welcome to the forum.

GC

You must be really insecure in your religion gc. Every time someone comes out and says that they left christianity behind you accuse them of not being real christians.

Methinks the shit doth protest too much.

Welcome, afrist. Hope you enjoy your stay and your family are intelligent enough to respect your worldview.

[lisah]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

One of the easiest things to do is to move far away from your family for a while.

I have mentioned my atheism to one member of my family, and I presume she may have mentioned it to others. I still get the odd invitations to church from time to time and my dad wants me to be with the family in heaven when I die.

Distance just makes life easier.

[Lucifer]

Hi Afrist! Welcome to the club! I left evangelical christianity 3 years ago and I could have written exactly the same post as you did. Personally, I have decided to tell my parents. My mother did not seem to care a lot about the fact that I left, she was more concerned with my happiness. My father found it harder to deal, and it has led to conflicts, but we already had those before. That was my experience, yours could be different. I think in general it is good to be honest and open to your family, but I know there are exceptions. Also, if you decide you want to tell, take your time for it. No need to rush it, do it when you feel more comfortable about it.

Anyways, the first time of being an Afrist can be hard. Most people will have to deal with a lot of trauma and you will have to discover the world and yourself again (I am still doing this) but eventually it will get better. I like to see that I got out of the matrix and that now I have the power to experience the actual reality.

[SteveII]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

I have an idea you might consider. Make sure you understand Christianity to the best of your ability--including studying the answers that very intelligent and thoughtful people have given to atheist arguments over the years. If you do go the atheist route, this at least does two things.

1. At least you will feel better knowing you did right by your parents and gave Christianity a fair hearing and
2. You would be able to converse with your parents in future years at a much more intellectual level about religion and prove to them that you understand what it is you are doing.

The reason I say this is because there are answers to every one of your questions and it may be that you need more answers than did your parents. It may have been the case that they did not realize this and those answers were never made available to you (by them or your church). Don't fall for the atheist line that intelligent people see through the BS of religion, etc. Some of the smartest people in the world, past and present, are Christians who don't think religions is BS.

[Whateverist]

Unfortunately for you my friend, it takes a very keen mind to find the value in religion given that it is so poorly understood within the wider context of human affairs and general knowledge.

[The Grand Nudger]

Don't sweat it.  Personally, I wouldn't give it any thought at all.  Your parents will always be who they are.  People will evangelize to you regardless of whether or not you believe, or they think you believe.  No debates or lengthy rationalizations are required.  You just don't believe.  One day you did, another you didn't.  That's how it works, you know that, they know that, we all know that.

[Jehanne]

I became an atheist very recently.  I grew up evangelical Christian.  This past year I did a lot of questioning and searching and thought about joining different religions, but rejected this because I realized the same fundamental problems existed in each of them.  I tried universalism and agnosticism but eventually found myself confirmed in atheism.  Now I feel content in my beliefs but not at all comfortable sharing them with most of the people I know.  I’m very close with my parents and for those who know evangelical Christians pretty well you know that if they find out you don’t believe in their God they will evangelize you for the rest of their lives, even when you stand up for your right to dissent.  I don’t want to face that for the rest of my life with my parents yet I also hate living with a huge secret and really dislike still pretending to be a Christian.  Have any of you been in this situation –any advice?

You've heard different advice in this thread no doubt, and here's my two cents:

Mom & Dad are likely "atheist", also, in that it is likely that they do not take their evangelical Christian beliefs too seriously.  Of course, I could be wrong, but regardless of their level of commitment, my advice would be the same, and that is, "Just roll with it."  You don't have to "announce" anything to anyone, and so, just go with the flow, and maybe, over time, just drop hints here and there that you have, say, been listening to Bart Ehrman (or someone else) and that you are beginning to not buy any of it anymore.