Corrupt a Wish Game!

[Xyster]

Granted but they are ugly and FAT.

I wish I gave a damn.

[theVOID]

Granted, but now you are in a permanent state of worry and it's literally killing you at an alarming pace.

I wish i could use my brain to control my computer directly.

[DiRNiS]

Granted, but your computer disobeys your every command and decides to format itself every 2 hours.

I wish I could own my own plane and fly anywhere I want.

[theVOID]

Granted, but Ted Haggard, Ben Stein, Ken Ham and Kent Hovind are your eternal flightmates...

I wish my Internet was faster.

[Paul the Human]

Granted, but your computer can't handle it and melts down.

I wish I was pretty.

[Dotard]

Granted but your computer is too slow to handle it so it still shows up on your monitor at a snails pace.

I wish the crazy predictions about 2012 were true and it throws civilization, and I survive, into a post-apocalyptic "Mad Max" kinda world. And, of course, I'm 'Mad Max'.

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Edited to add: I also wish Paul would stop posting at the same time as me and screwing up the whole "corrupt a wish" flow.

And granted, you ain't as ugly as chasm, so comparitively you are pretty.

[theVOID]

Granted, but the post apocalyptic world is so damn cold from the nuclear winter that you'll never see your testicles again.

I wish my beer was never ending so i didn't have to get up and grab another one.

[Shinylight]

Granted, but every time you take a sip it turns to elephant piss.

I wish I had mind control powers.

[Paul the Human]

Granted, but they work in reverse. Now everyone can control your mind.

I wish Freddie Mercury were still alive.

[theVOID]

Granted, but he's in the condition you would expect him to be in after decomposing for 20 years and is unable to form recognisable sounds, let alone sing.

I wish i had more wishes.