Why I Don't Want To Be An Atheist

[Edwardo Piet]

Thanks [emoji2]

Although to be honest... the worst would be an unpunny foe.

Because I like puns.

[Whateverist]

Like Drich? Any punning he did would be accidental and he isn't bright enough to be a poe.

[Edwardo Piet]

Better an unfunny Edgar Alan than an unpunny foe.

Wait... I've confused myself now.

[emoji52]

[Whateverist]

Better an unfunny Edgar Alan than an unpunny foe.

Wait... I've confused myself now.

[emoji52]

Yeah, better take it easy.  If you over do it you're likely to hurt yourself.

[Edwardo Piet]

Love The Raven though:

---

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;—vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door—
Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door;—
This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"—here I opened wide the door;—
Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"—
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore—
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—
'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door—
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door—
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore—
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning—little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door—
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered—
Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before—
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore—
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never—nevermore'."

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore—
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee—by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite—respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!—
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted—
On this home by Horror haunted—tell me truly, I implore—
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!—prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore—
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting—
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted—nevermore!
—Edgar Allan Poe

---

But then, I'm biased, it may not even be remotely especially non-mediocre and it may in actual fact be at the very least moderately overrated, as famous poems go.

I'm biased because I love ravens, basically.

Not biased with this, however, I loved Steven Wilson's music far before he wrote this awesome song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZtZIUgY0IM

[Faith No More]

Well, ThePrick has visited the shoutbox. I guess he didn't have the balls to come back here.

[Edwardo Piet]

So far he's been the most harmless of trolls. One hilarious post and some amusing shoutbox comments.

As long as he's not breaking any AF rules.

Which he technically isn't. I very much approve of the 'no trolling rule' the way it is, now.

[abaris]

So far he's been the most harmless of trolls. One hilarious post and some amusing shoutbox comments.

Two comments obviously. Definitely a troll but not a very accomplished one.

[Edwardo Piet]

I think he's doing well as an Edgar Alan. He appears to be taking the piss out of the idiots he's imitating.

As long as he doesn't post again and doesn't harass the shoutbox he can leave his amusingness at that without breaking any rules.

If he posts more shit or starts shoutboxing-it-up too regularly (or takes it to a more obnoxious level) then I'll start to disapprove of him & will also unkudos the OP, if I remember to.

[mcolafson]

1.      Because I feel Insecure without God
2.      I can’t control how I feel without God
3.      Because Atheists support gays and I don’t
4.      Because being an atheist is too easy and therefore boring
5.      Because my parents can’t control me without religion and I won’t be able to on my kids.
6.      Because I feel some sort of guilt not following God
7.      Because Atheists like abortion and I don’t
8.      Because being an atheist makes me feel like hell
9.      Because I don’t want to go to hell if it exists
10.  Because many people are religious
11.  Because If I was an atheist I would kill anyone in my family, if they annoy me. But religion keeps me under control.
12.  But If do kill them, then I would feel guilty and that guilt proves God.
13.  Because I can’t understand how all this universe just randomly came into existence from nothing, what makes sense to me is that God created it.
14.  Because the internet makes me feel like God exists.
15.  Because If am an atheist I would be always be worried with the question, what if I am wrong and God exists then I don’t want to be on God’s Bad side.
16.  Because planet earth is boring, including sex which only lasts 5 minutes
17.  Many people have testimony about their experience with God.
18.  Because I can’t find an reasonable argument against God’s existence
19.  Out of existence the highest form of existence is God.
20.  Because I am debating and this makes me feel God exists
21.  Which God?- I Believe  the Christian God since, the bible can be proven archeologically and prophetically, and morally and historically and how it improves people. Miracles prove God.
22.  The Western Civilization is the most power fullest in history, which was influenced and built up by Christianity. 
23.  I could go on, but I like to stop here because I know very well that you know God exists but pretend he doesn't
---ThePrick

Is it a parody of some sort?

Nazis didn't support gays. Are you a Nazi?