Not every pedophile is a rapist.

[Athene]

What keeps pedophiles silent, is their strong, habitual like for criminal acts that disrupt and shatter lives, in my opinion.

[Angrboda]

I believe the majority of pedophiles will likely act on their urges, if the opportunity presents itself and they're physically capable of doing so. I'd sure like to imagine that many of them lead quiet, unassuming lives, and continually deny themselves the sexual gratification they crave out of their own free will and volition...but, that doesn't seem realistic to me. The sheer amount of child sex abuse that takes place seems to indicate otherwise.

I do understand the difference between a pedophile and a child molester, technically. In my view, however, the difference is more a matter of semantics/legal necessity, than it is a realistic difference that has any practical application. Most people wouldn't dare leave their children in the care of a law-abiding pedophile, who's sworn off diddling kids: Even in the most dire of emergencies. 

There's a reason for that, I believe.

In the real world, people understand just how prevalent childhood sexual abuse actually is. They reasonably conclude that a pedophile is much more likely to be a child molester who hasn't been caught offending, rather than a person with an "uncontrollable urge" to f_ck kids, who happens to be kind enough to never, ever, ever act on it.

What keeps pedophiles silent, is their strong, habitual like for criminal acts that disrupt and shatter lives, in my opinion.

Do you have anything other than your opinion in support of these claims? As noted above, not all molesters are pedophiles. It seems unreasonable to draw the inference that the epidemic of child sexual abuse says anything about the prevalence of non-offending pedophiles. That just seems like a big non sequitur.

[Losty]

Who are you to say they have a habitual like for criminal acts? Have you asked them? Everything I've read where they're allowed to speak freely they seem to be against any and all criminal acts associated with their sexual desires. You can no easier change what you're attracted to than they can.

@Bella, Calling someone a pedo-lover...lol. Okay then. I happen to be a firm believer that all human beings should be treated as such, if that makes me a pedo-lover...I'm not ashamed of such a title. I care about people and their actions and their intentions. I want to die every day and yet I am not suicidal. Our brains do things we cannot understand and things we have no control over and no one should be hated or demonized for that. If someone is concerned that something going on in their brain could be a potential threat they should be safe to come forward and seek help.

Would I leave my children in the care of an admitted pedophile? No, of course not. Neither would I leave them in the care of a 16 year old especially not one with a cell phone and a boyfriend. We take extra precautions when it comes to our kids because they're incapable of caring for themselves. Doesn't speak to the issue at all. Being sexually attracted to someone in no way makes you at risk of raping that person. I'm sexually attracted to people that I have no desire to have sex with whatsoever.

I don't know where the bigot thing keeps coming from. As far as I can tell no one here has called anyone a bigot. It's a sensitive topic. People are understandably horrified at even the idea. I get that. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I think you're bigot. It means I think you're uninformed on the topic and uninterested in the opinions of medical professionals. In short, it simply means I think you're opinion is wrong. That's life, people disagree sometimes.

[account_inactive]

Perhaps calling people "paedo-lover" was a bit extreme and rude of me. I get where you are all coming from. It's a complicated and sensitive topic.

Apologies.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I do understand the difference between a pedophile and a child molester, technically. In my view, however, the difference is more a matter of semantics/legal necessity, than it is a realistic difference that has any practical application. Most people wouldn't dare leave their children in the care of a law-abiding pedophile, who's sworn off diddling kids: Even in the most dire of emergencies. 

There's a reason for that, I believe.

A fair point, to an extent. But how many people do we hear saying IRL (not anonymous online polls) "Well, yeah, I'm turned on by kids but I'd never do anything"? We don't. And I think that both leads to your view that this is a semantical issue, and also to the error I made upthread in conflating the two; because the only pedophiles I've heard of -- the only pedophiles any of us know of, really -- are those who've been caught acting out the impulse. Such a dark secret is probably best-protected, right?

In short -- we don't know who the pedophile is until the conviction rolls in, usually, and that makes the entire discussion more fraught with both semantical issues and the conflation issue I exemplified earlier.

[robvalue]

Perhaps calling people "paedo-lover" was a bit extreme and rude of me. I get where you are all coming from. It's a complicated and sensitive topic.

Apologies.

That's okay. It's an emotional issue. My point is, they exist, and being angry at them won't make them go away. We need, as a society, a way of properly supporting them rather than forcing them to keep silent. Ironically I think there is more of a threat when they have to keep quiet.

This isn't too different to the attitude there used to be towards homosexuals. I know the issues are different, but the knee-jerk reaction is kind of the same. It's only when people properly understand it that any progress can be made.

[Excited Penguin]

To add to that, having sex with anyone too young to give consent is indeed one form of rape, by definition.

A high school friend of mine was convicted of pedophilia about 15 years ago. I was shocked and sickened -- I had no idea he had that in him. The fact that he never showed that inclination -- at one time I rented a room from his parents, so we were basically roommates too -- the fact that I never saw any indication of it in his behavior makes me doubt that it was inherent in him.

Being a pedophile does not equal having sex with minors. You cannot be convicted of pedophilia. And I think that's the whole point of the op. Being a pedophile means being exclusively sexually attracted to children. It doesn't necessitate rape or molestation or any other criminal activity.

Are we sure that's what it means? Aren't there people attracted to both adults and children? I imagine they can function as normal individuals, at least easier than "exclusive pedophiles.

[Thumpalumpacus]

What keeps pedophiles silent, is their strong, habitual like for criminal acts that disrupt and shatter lives, in my opinion.

I'm not so sure it's a "liking" -- I think Catholic_Lady upthread had a great point that whether it's genetic or based on upbringing, the odds are it's not something where the guy woke up one day and said, "damn, I'd really like to fiddle a kid."

As to what keeps them silent, I've no doubt it the social opprobrium (rightfully, in my opinion) attached to their acting out their impulses. Those actions are criminal for a goddamned good reason, of course -- but we'd be foolish not to examine the roots of the issue.

Make no mistake, this is a deeply uncomfortable discussion for me, and I find myself on both side of the fenceline, busy trying to integrate my intellect and my emotions on the topic. But I think it's worthy to discuss it, and to try and understand why they feel, and too often act, as they do.

[robvalue]

The problem is that you can't simply test everyone who is going to work with children. So saying, "Keep them away" is just not going to work. You're effectively letting them in unknown instead, because they have no choice but to keep quiet.

Once it's accepted not every paedophile is going to grab and rape every kid, just like not every gay you see is desperate to bum you, we'll be able to help each other.

[Thumpalumpacus]

We need, as a society, a way of properly supporting them rather than forcing them to keep silent. Ironically I think there is more of a threat when they have to keep quiet.

Treatment, not "support".