Not every pedophile is a rapist.

[Iroscato]

I've thought for years that paedophiles should be able to seek out confidential, no-strings-attached advice and therapy to deal with their urges. That way the temptation to act on them is dramatically reduced, and they can live an otherwise normal life without fear of retribution from society. I don't believe they 'choose' to feel the way they do, nor do I think they should be punished for thoughtcrime.

[Athene]

As far as people who choose to act on those "uncontrollable urges" are concerned...

I know of a "cure" for that shit. A permanent one.

[Angrboda]

I think it does involve will and decision. Let's entertain the idea, you've got someone who for whatever reason is attracted to child-like features. Why don't they just find themselves an Ariana Grande or a Josh Hutcherson, a legal adult who happens to have young-looking features? There are plenty of adults like that out there these people can aim for, but instead it has to be a child? That's what I mean when I say it's a fetish. If an old adult (who doesn't emotionally/personally connect to teenagers at their age) is going beyond it being a physical thing and actually wants a child partner, it's because they get off to the feeling of having sexual power over someone inexperienced with sex. That's a fetish, not a sexuality.

Despite your hypothetical, which is largely irrelevant, calling it a fetish rather than a sexuality seems like a pointless semantic argument. What is hetrosexuality for a woman other than a fetish for a particular sex of human. One person's fetish is another's sexuality. Ignoring this semantic argument for the moment, what attributes would pedophilia have to possess to be considered a sexual orientation?

"Consensus now exists that pedophilia is a distinct sexual orientation, not something that develops in someone who is homosexual or heterosexual." ~ http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter...pedophilia

[Losty]

I don't buy pedophilia being a legit "born this way" sexuality that people have no control over, if I'm honest. I just don't see how exclusive attraction to a certain age works, as though you'd be attracted to a teenager and then on their 18th birthday they're suddenly not attractive to you anymore. That makes no sense.

It's a fetish for having power in sex and for virgins/inexperienced sex at most, I don't consider it a fully fledged sexuality.

I think you're wrong. Pedophilia is not a fetish, I'm pretty sure it's a mental disorder. Either way, people also have no control over their fetishes. You can't just choose not to be only sexually attracted to X thing if that's what you're attracted to. There's nothing immoral or illegal about being a pedophile. These people, IMO, should be treated with respect and be given the medical treatment that can help them. Being a pedophile doesn't make you a child molestor or a rapist. And it certainly doesn't make you deserving to be treated like one if you've not hurt anyone.

[Regina]

Because a fetish is getting sexual gratification from a particular scenario or object, while a sexual orientation is the gender you are attracted to. That's not "semantic", they're very different things.

Liking the feeling of being in power over someone helpless during sex is not a sexual orientation.

[Losty]

Because a fetish is getting sexual gratification from a particular scenario or object, while a sexual orientation is the gender you are attracted to. That's not "semantic", they're very different things.

Liking the feeling of being in power over someone helpless during sex is not a sexual orientation.

What's the part I bolded got to do with pedophilia though?

[Macoleco]

Well I disagree with you there. Because if you have noticed, the taste of everyone changes with age, too. For example, when you were 12 years old, you used to liked girls of the same age. Now you have grown up, and you like grown up girls. I dont think it is a fetish because a fetish involves will and decision. Feeling an uncontrolable desire for kids is different.

Yes but a 12 year old being attracted to another 12/13 year old is not the same thing as a 40 year old being attracted to someone of that age.

People date within their respective age group because they have a lot of common ground with eachother, based on them being the same age. That floats throughout life. I was attracted to other teenagers when I was a teenager yes, and that was appropriate at the time because 15 year old me dating another 15 year old was not an un-even power dynamic.

But I'm older now and I don't personally relate to teenage life anymore, so I've lost my interest for teen boys and have developed an interest for men in their 20s, because that's my current age and it's what I currently relate to the most.

I think it does involve will and decision. Let's entertain the idea, you've got someone who for whatever reason is attracted to child-like features. Why don't they just find themselves an Ariana Grande or a Josh Hutcherson, a legal adult who happens to have young-looking features? There are plenty of adults like that out there these people can aim for, but instead it has to be a child? That's what I mean when I say it's a fetish. If an old adult (who doesn't emotionally/personally connect to teenagers at their age) not only sees it as a physical thing but actually wants a child partner, it's because they get off to the feeling of having sexual power over someone inexperienced with sex. That's a fetish, not a sexuality.

You are a woman. And as a woman, you feel attraction to men. Now, what if you go to a (hypothetical) society where your desire for men is considered bad and you should be punished. How would you feel? You have been biologically programmed to like men, the same way pedophiles like kids. It would be unfair to judge you if you havent commited a crime.

Also, you are assuming pedophiles enjoy overpowering the kids, but that is not necessarily true. We are talking about a genuine attraction towards kids, not a fantasy.

[Angrboda]

One challenge in the scientific literature is that most of the studies on pedophilia have involved men convicted of crimes against children, and experts estimate that only one in 20 cases of child sexual abuse is reported. It remains unclear how prevalent pedophilia is in the general population. Research on convicts may not apply to people with pedophilic tendencies who live without detection in the community or suffer silently while controlling their impulses.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter...pedophilia

[Losty]

To add to that, having sex with anyone too young to give consent is indeed one form of rape, by definition.

A high school friend of mine was convicted of pedophilia about 15 years ago. I was shocked and sickened -- I had no idea he had that in him. The fact that he never showed that inclination -- at one time I rented a room from his parents, so we were basically roommates too -- the fact that I never saw any indication of it in his behavior makes me doubt that it was inherent in him.

Being a pedophile does not equal having sex with minors. You cannot be convicted of pedophilia. And I think that's the whole point of the op. Being a pedophile means being exclusively sexually attracted to children. It doesn't necessitate rape or molestation or any other criminal activity.

[Losty]

Also I would guess that some people who have raped children are not pedophiles. Rape tends to not be about sex, it's about power. But pedophilia isn't about power or dominance it's just a sexual attraction. I'm sexually attracted to a lot of people but that doesn't mean I would ever rape them. And I assume the same is likely true of most pedophiles.