My operation

[brewer]

Not an implant. It's a seething puss filled mass that needs to be lanced. No telling what flavor that cream cheese is.

Funny, one of the nurses called me that.

What, Lance?

[vorlon13]

Not an implant. It's a seething puss filled mass that needs to be lanced. No telling what flavor that cream cheese is.

Funny, one of the nurses called me that.

while you were defiling her body ?

[robvalue]

Hmm, there was one of the nurses who I seriously wanted to get my defile on with It's hard to get any action though with a tube up your nob.

That reminds me, once I started using the lavatory again by myself, I was given a bladder scan to see how effectively I had emptied it. The result puzzled the guy doing it: he couldn't find any traces of urine in there at all. The test was done with a machine similar to the one used on pregnant women.

Suspecting the machine was faulty, he got another one. He got the same result. He repeated it at a later time, after another trip to the loo. Again, he could find nothing. So either their machines were all on the blink, or I have an astonishingly efficient bladder. Apparently you would expect to find quite a few traces in there at all times.

I must be an alien I guess, since I also had the weird business with the oxygen saturation. It appeared to randomly move between about 84 and 94.

[vorlon13]

or you've been modified by an alien . . .

[Pat Mustard]

or you've been modified by an alien . . .

Or he's a robot sent from the future to kill the saviour of humanity.

[robvalue]

I'll see which of those theories pans out in due course.

I plan to drive myself about tomorrow, as things seem to be going well. Emma has suggested putting a pillow in front of my tummy for protection, I think I'll probably do that. It's the jolt on my stomach if I have to hit the brakes I'm most worried about, but I think things are healing enough for me to give it a go now.

[vorlon13]

[robvalue]

Urg, that reminds me, someone we know felt unwell after an op and had to go in again. It turned out they'd left a surgical instrument inside the wound. Jeepers.

My lump is certainly no bigger and it's a lot less sensitive now, especially to turning. I'm a lot less worried about it now. I feel less sensitive in general. I've managed to maintain a relaxed mindset for all these days, which is an accomplishment for me. I've started a new anti-anxiety drug so maybe that's helped.

[ReptilianPeon]

It would be truly terrible if you had to spend the Christmas period in hospital! But I'd come and visit for sure. Have you had any peanut butter yet? If I remember rightly you were looking forward to it.

[robvalue]

Indeed it would! It's looking unlikely that I'd have to do that, at the moment. If I do need a drain or something I doubt it's urgent and would probably be an outpatient procedure. I don't know if I'll even have the ultrasound by Christmas.

Yeah I've had some peanut butter, thanks I'm sticking to the smooth variety for the moment, until I have a chin wag with my specialist.