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I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 10:09 am
Well I grew up in a Mormon family. I really have nothing against the religion itself, and it even teaches some great things and ways to live your life. However, i feel that religion as a whole just is not for me. I haven't broken this news to my parents quite yet though. Anyways, to give a little more context I'm a 23 year old College Junior. I was living at home till Jan. of 2016 then I transfers to University about 100 miles away from my home town. (Phoenix Metro to Tucson (University of Arizona)). I really like it down there, I'm independent and living all on my own. I do still have a room back home and still considered living there until I officially get my very own house. I still associate with the LDS Church's institute of religion at UofA
mostly because it's a nice social circle to have and some support and FREE PARKING! 
Anyways, my Dad is a Stake President within the Mormon faith. Basically a stake president presides over about 3,500-5,000 people which is called a Stake. And within that stake there's wards. Usually 6-9. He's had this calling since 2008. It's been quite the struggle having to juggle this with his career field as well. (Stake presidents don't get paid). He is retired now, but still does lots of legal arbitration's now so he's very busy!
However, he tends to be around people who almost seem perfect. Like for instance he meets with young men usually 18-20 years old before they go on their mission to help them get ready for it and such and these Young men and Young women almost seem perfect. They are very concerned regarding their appearance and being social. I grew up in sort of a snobby part of town which was dominated by Mormons. Like at least 50%. But for me I'm total opposite of these kids my Dad meets with. I drink Energy drinks, like lots of them. I am not super spiritual either. Not a straight A student, not athletic, not social either. I just feel like his expectations of how someone should be has been a bit polarized, that's all. Mormons where I grew up tend to throw up a sort of smoke screen in order to make it appear their lives are perfect and that they're perfect. I didn't serve a mission either due to medical reasons and depression.
Anyways, this took quite a bit of courage for me to post, so please be respectful in your responses
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 10:19 am
Good on you for not wasting too much time on other people's arbitrary expectations.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 10:24 am
As long as you're happy with yourself and your decisions and I'd say healthy I wouldn't care about other peoples expectations too much. Even if you're not very happy with your state, I wouldn't care about other peoples expectations but I'd fix what I think is an issue e.g. working out and eating healthy because I want to feel better not because my mum wants me to be a buff, strong man or a proffessional football player.
If you feel like you're not good enough based on someone elses standards it can lead you not feeling so well. It's a different matter if you're trying to change as a person because you really want to do so yourself.
E.g. my dad and brother wanted me to be good at football when I was around 10 years old I didn't want to, I was trash at it and quit later on, I didn't live up to their expectations but I was much happier being myself y'know.
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 11:39 am
It sounds like there's something of a pretense being put on where the parents supposedly want their kids to be happy but that it's subordinate to every facet of the rest of their religion. If that's anything like what you are experiencing, then screw his expectations of you.
Religions were invented to impress and dupe illiterate, superstitious stone-age peasants. So in this modern, enlightened age of information, what's your excuse? Or are you saying with all your advantages, you were still tricked as easily as those early humans?
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There is no better way to convey the least amount of information in the greatest amount of words than to try explaining your religious views.
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 12:04 pm
My dad was upset with me because I listened to the Beatles. Don't waste time worrying what the older generation thinks of you.
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 12:13 pm
Not living up to someone else's expectations is a failure on their part, not yours. If your standards make you (and only you) uncomfortable, that's the time to try and effect a change. Otherwise, be at peace with who you are.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 12:20 pm
It's your life, not his. He'll come around.
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 1:19 pm
How are you doing with regards to your own expectations OP?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 1:41 pm
Tough period of life you're going through under the best of conditions. I don't recommend you share your faltering faith with your parents any time soon. Oh and I also recommend you start expanding your social circles beyond your old faith. That could help.
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RE: I sorta feel like I didn't live up to my Dad's expecatations
January 2, 2017 at 1:57 pm
(This post was last modified: January 2, 2017 at 2:00 pm by Anomalocaris.)
He has no lien on your life, judgement, or happiness. If he thinks he does, then he is not a good parent, and you don't own him anything. If he does not think he has any such lien, then he is in this respect a good parent, and you ought not to let his good intentions go to waste by limiting yourself through some imaginary and unfairly burdening expectation that he does not really intend to impose upon you.
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