Adoption of mentally impaired babies

[Catholic_Lady]

If still legal where they live (not knowing how far along she is), I think abortion would be the optimum solution, but that's not my choice. What happens if they never find a 'good' home? The foster care system is evidence enough that finding children good homes isn't exactly easy.

If they go the adoption route I think they should be made to pay for the child's care, including into adulthood as many people with mental disabilities require.

On second thought, fuck them. To simultaneously hold the position that every life is sacred and carry to term only to try and adopt, not because they don't have the means but because it would be too emotionally distressing, is some deep sanctimonious bullshit. If this is the fortitude of this couple I can only hope the child finds a loving family. As for these two, I dread the thought of them ever having a child. The reason given for their decision to adopt will rear its head in any number of parenting situations where future children will suffer. Selfishness is not a good basis for parenting.

I think this couple should have their genitals removed and placed in jars on their kitchen table as a daily reminder of how fucked up they are. Will also ensure they aren't given another opportunity to fuck up another child's life.

Wow, that's a little harsh. As I said above, I would actually think it would be big of them to go through the sacrifice of pregnancy and childbirth (without a baby to look forward to) for the sake of giving their son/daughter the best life possible. 

To each their own though.

[BrokenQuill92]

The attitude and mindset of that sort of parent is really fucked up. They're want a kid just not a disabled kid. Never mind that your kid could start out perfectly healthy and become disabled later. Are you gonna ditch a sick kid at the hospital the minute you find out they have brittle bone, or cp, or they're deaf? What's that? No? Because that would make you an asshole. But it's just acceptable to ditch developmentally delayed kids. Maybe certain people don't need kids.

[Catholic_Lady]

The attitude and mindset of that sort of parent is really fucked up. They're want a kid just not a disabled kid. Never mind that your kid could start out perfectly healthy and become disabled later. Are you gonna ditch a sick kid at the hospital the minute you find out they have brittle bone, or cp, or they're deaf? What's that? No? Because that would make you an asshole. But it's just acceptable to ditch developmentally delayed kids. Maybe certain people don't need kids.

That's a good point.

I think at that point though, you'd already be so emotionally invested in your child, and would already love them so much, that giving them to different parents would bring more emotional pain than taking care of them. Also a big difference would be that the child would already know their biological parents and it would be extremely cruel to separate from them. So the circumstances would be very different. This should all be about what's best for the child.

[FlyingNarwhal]

I don't really see a problem with giving a child up for adoption that is mentally impaired, no more than I would if the parents chose to abort the child because of the same issues. Especially if they don't think they will be able to deal with the emotional/mental stress. My mom works in special education, she's told me stories of great parents that go above and beyond for their children. Others just CAN NOT properly handle having a mentally impaired child. I'd rather see a couple that has the for sight to recognize that they would not be good parents, give up their child, rather than try to raise a child with disabilities that they can't handle because of some "noble" desire to trudge on through struggle. There are strong and weak people in the world.

[Nay_Sayer]

How do you guys feel about a couple who, upon learning their unborn baby had a mental impairment such as Down Syndrome (or other), decide to look for a good family to adopt their baby? Apparently there are people out there who feel a calling and have a passion for special needs children, and who specifically look for these types of babies to adopt. 

Let me also say that this pregnant couple has the financial means and plenty of support to take care of a mentally impaired child. But the reason they want to put their child up for adoption is because they feel like emotionally/mentally they just wouldn't be able to handle the grief and heartache that would come from seeing their child struggle through life.   

So, do you think it's wrong for the pregnant couple to choose to put their baby up for adoption in this case? Would you judge them? How do you feel about this type of decision?

(bolded to emphasize this would be about finding a loving adopted family prior to the birth, NOT leaving the child in an orphanage)

I say dash the baby on some rocks, Get god that angel quicker

[Regina]

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You don't want to know my opinion.

(best if I don't weigh in on this)

You guys can say you think it's wrong if you'd like. When I was pregnant with such baby the adoption thing crossed my mind in a moment of desperation, but ultimately I would not have given him up for adoption. It won't hurt my feelings if you say you think it is wrong because I wouldn't have done it.

I... don't think that's what they meant

And with that, I'll say nothing on this either...

[Cato]

Wow, that's a little harsh. As I said above, I would actually think it would be big of them to go through the sacrifice of pregnancy and childbirth (without a baby to look forward to) for the sake of giving their son/daughter the best life possible. 

To each their own though.

Harsh? I think you should reserve that for the assholes intentionally bringing an unwanted child into the world. The best possible life would be for the parents with means to raise the child. It's the abject selfishness here that I find disgusting. Not much difference in my opinion from the Spartans rejecting undesirable children. The Spartans may have been less civilized about it, but it's the same thing. Far different from those mothers agonizing over giving up a child for the lack of means to raise it. These people disgust me.

[Amarok]

The attitude and mindset of that sort of parent is really fucked up. They're want a kid just not a disabled kid. Never mind that your kid could start out perfectly healthy and become disabled later. Are you gonna ditch a sick kid at the hospital the minute you find out they have brittle bone, or cp, or they're deaf? What's that? No? Because that would make you an asshole. But it's just acceptable to ditch developmentally delayed kids. Maybe certain people don't need kids.

It's not really the same as

1. Disabled children has a great many extra needs  that some parents can't deal with.

2. I'm semi  for later term adoption (I doubt anyone proposing ditching them in a hospital) it's harsh but sometimes but sometimes the best solution isn't always the nicest(personal experience has shown this )

[Catholic_Lady]

Wow, that's a little harsh. As I said above, I would actually think it would be big of them to go through the sacrifice of pregnancy and childbirth (without a baby to look forward to) for the sake of giving their son/daughter the best life possible. 

To each their own though.

Harsh? I think you should reserve that for the assholes intentionally bringing an unwanted child into the world. The best possible life would be for the parents with means to raise the child. It's the abject selfishness here that I find disgusting. Not much difference in my opinion from the Spartans rejecting undesirable children. The Spartans may have been less civilized about it, but it's the same thing. Far different from those mothers agonizing over giving up a child for the lack of means to raise it. These people disgust me.

I guess I don't see how it is selfish to go through a pregnancy (which is not easy) when you won't get anything out of it, so that you can give your mentally impaired child life and loving parents who are well equipped to take good care of him/her. I think having the child killed would be much more selfish.

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Anyway, I think I'm going to leave this thread. This was supposed to be about whether you think the scenario presented is or is not moral, and why. I wasn't really wanting to hear people say (or deliberately hint) that the handicapped baby should be aborted. Hits a bit too close to home, to be honest.

[chimp3]

How do you guys feel about a couple who, upon learning their unborn baby had a mental impairment such as Down Syndrome (or other), decide to look for a good family to adopt their baby? Apparently there are people out there who feel a calling and have a passion for special needs children, and who specifically look for these types of babies to adopt. 

Let me also say that this pregnant couple has the financial means and plenty of support to take care of a mentally impaired child. But the reason they want to put their child up for adoption is because they feel like emotionally/mentally they just wouldn't be able to handle the grief and heartache that would come from seeing their child struggle through life.   

So, do you think it's wrong for the pregnant couple to choose to put their baby up for adoption in this case? Would you judge them? How do you feel about this type of decision?

(bolded to emphasize this would be about finding a loving adopted family prior to the birth, NOT leaving the child in an orphanage)

I don't know enough about this coup!e to pass judgement. Perhaps they recognize their own limitations and frailties and think some one else might be better parents. Perhaps they are being petty. Either way, some one else might be better parents.