Cheesy jokes!

[Rayaan]

Q: What did one clock say to the other clock?
A: "Nice tocking to you."

Q; What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: "Between you and me, something smells."

Q: What did the cowboy say to the pencil?
A: "Draw, partner!"

[Dotard]

What did the tree say to the bush?

Nothing! Trees don't talk!

[Edwardo Piet]

That reminds me....

To paraphrase Rik Mayall as Kevin Turvey (maybe not a paraphrase): "Why does Margaret Thatcher wear barbed wire underwear? She doesn't - it's a joke!".

[The Omnissiunt One]

Here's a joke that's virtually as tasteless as you can get, courtesy of Jimmy Carr:

How do you tell if your girlfriend's too young?

If you have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth.

[downbeatplumb]

Two piles of sick were talking, suddenly one begun to well up.
The other one asked,

"why the tears"
The reply was



wait for it




"This was where I was brought up"

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Two roads were talikng one suddenly turned to the other and said.

"dont go near him he's a cycle path" (said like psychopath)

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Dumb and Dumber go duck hunting.

Twelve hours,not a single duck,just about ready to give up.Dumb has an 'aha moment' and says to Dumber:

"I know our problem! We're not throwing the dog high enough!"


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Little Guido,age 6 is in the mall crying

Security guard: "What's the matter?

Guido(waling): "I've lost my grandpa!"

Guard :"Oh dear,what's he like?"

Guido :"Women with big tits and single malt scotch"


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A drunk is at State Fair.Has go at the shooting gallery.Can't miss. He wins a prize; a cute little tortoise. He takes it and staggers off. Some time later,he staggers back for another go and wins again. The stall keeper goes to hand him a stuffed toy.

The drunk says "No thanks, if it's all the same to you, I'll have another one of those crunchy little meat pies"