(AMA) I live in a patriarchy. Ask me anything.

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

And what do you think it is like for women?

What do I think it's like for women? I can tell you what I've been seeing with my own eyes for 21 years. Women and men are brought up differently. Women live a protected life. Every woman will have at least 3 to 5 brothers or cousin brothers ready to come to their aid at any time, they grow up very close to their mother and sisters, the favorite child of a father will be the daughter in all families. Boys get beat up for their mistakes and girls are considered cute for making mistakes. It's quite astonishing how much fathers love their daughters more than their sons and how obvious they make it, perhaps to harden up the boys i don't know. Girls are considered like little precious diamonds, are overly protected and everybody is desperate to entertain them.

Boys get brought up with sooo much freedom, we can go anywhere. I doesn't matter if we get a bit late home because frankly people don't even notice you were gone, they will be too busy with the girls. Boys doesn't have anyone ready to come to their aid at any time apart from friends, if we ask for help we are made fun of for asking for help while being born a male(by women). If a family member gets hospitalized girls stay home and watch TV, boys have to stay in the hospital and look after the patient. Most people seem to think because boys are given so much freedom that they are somehow "powerful", my view is that boys are seen more like easily disposable replacements, people don't care much about them, so they have this "freedom" to do things girls can't while girls are considered as precious diamonds and are taken care of with utmost care.

What do you thinks of this article?: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...eform-rape

There are definitely rural places in India where it is an absolute shit hole to live in. People are not educated, law enforcement is worse and everything is head down feet up. That being said, that article is a feminist piece written on feelings and not on facts. For example, men are not allowed to look at women for more than 14 seconds or we will end up in jail, a woman doesn't get punished for false rape accusation, a woman can make a complaint against any random man and the man will guarantee spend 24hrs in jail(and get beat up inside jail). What that article does is point out the extreme, rare and isolated incidents from rural places in the state UP(which itself is quite rural) and try to equate the whole India with it. Apart from that I could've agreed with some other parts written in that article but unfortunately they have overly exaggerated (probably for reading value) to be point of being absurd that I cannot consider that piece an honest work.

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See. You talk just like a sexist pig. You're only here to troll. You know how absurd your shit is.

Another Pool baiing-everyone-by-setting-people-up-and-knocking-them-downt thread. I wish he'd never returned.

If you're going to keep on attacking me I'm going to start attacking you back soon enough. The only reason I'm not doing it is because I don't want to destroy your will to live.

[brewer]

And what do you think it is like for women?

What do I think it's like for women? I can tell you what I've been seeing with my own eyes for 21 years. Women and men are brought up differently. Women live a protected life. Every woman will have at least 3 to 5 brothers or cousin brothers ready to come to their aid at any time, they grow up very close to their mother and sisters, the favorite child of a father will be the daughter in all families. Boys get beat up for their mistakes and girls are considered cute for making mistakes. It's quite astonishing how much fathers love their daughters more than their sons and how obvious they make it, perhaps to harden up the boys i don't know. Girls are considered like little precious diamonds, are overly protected and everybody is desperate to entertain them.

Boys get brought up with sooo much freedom, we can go anywhere. I doesn't matter if we get a bit late home because frankly people don't even notice you were gone, they will be too busy with the girls. Boys doesn't have anyone ready to come to their aid at any time apart from friends, if we ask for help we are made fun of for asking for help while being born a male(by women). If a family member gets hospitalized girls stay home and watch TV, boys have to stay in the hospital and look after the patient. Most people seem to think because boys are given so much freedom that they are somehow "powerful", my view is that boys are seen more like easily disposable replacements, people don't care much about them, so they have this "freedom" to do things girls can't while girls are considered as precious diamonds and are taken care of with utmost care.

What do you thinks of this article?: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...eform-rape

There are definitely rural places in India where it is an absolute shit hole to live in. People are not educated, law enforcement is worse and everything is head down feet up. That being said, that article is a feminist piece written on feelings and not on facts. For example, men are not allowed to look at women for more than 14 seconds or we will end up in jail, a woman doesn't get punished for false rape accusation, a woman can make a complaint against any random man and the man will guarantee spend 24hrs in jail(and get beat up inside jail). What that article does is point out the extreme, rare and isolated incidents from rural places in the state UP(which itself is quite rural) and try to equate the whole India with it. Apart from that I could've agreed with some other parts written in that article but unfortunately they have overly exaggerated (probably for reading value) to be point of being absurd that I cannot consider that piece an honest work.

That's not what this article would indicate: "For many years, Indian families seemed more interested in having boys than girls. This choice of boys has led to many illegal abortions. Doctors were told to end a pregnancy when the fetus showed signs of being female."

http://learningenglish.voanews.com/a/ind...24534.html

Almost all of the google searches indicate that, in India, boys are preferred over girls, in all levels of society.

[Iroscato]

Moderator Notice
There are to be no more derailments in this thread. End of story.

[Edwardo Piet]

If you're going to keep on attacking me I'm going to start attacking you back soon enough. The only reason I'm not doing it is because I don't want to destroy your will to live.

lol

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Moderator Notice
There are to be no more derailments in this thread. End of story.

I think first we need to find a railment

[Kernel Sohcahtoa]

I live in a patriarchal society. Ask me any question relating to this and I'll try to answer it to the best of my capacity.

From reading your posts, it seems like there's a lot of burden being put on men in your patriarchal society.  Would you say that a more gender equal society would balance the burden among the sexes (or the population as a whole)?  What is your formula for making your society a more fulfilling, meaningful, and happier place?

Also, out of curiosity, is gender identity black and white in the patriarchal society in which you are a part of, or is there a gray area? For example, would a man who gender identifies as a woman (or vice versa) be accepted in your society? Would you say that your society is open-minded and open to change?

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

That's not what this article would indicate: "For many years, Indian families seemed more interested in having boys than girls. This choice of boys has led to many illegal abortions. Doctors were told to end a pregnancy when the fetus showed signs of being female."

Yep. That was a different time though. I'll explain the situation to you, back when we were farmers having a girl was a burden to a family because she would not be able to work out in the fields so they preferred boys who had a much better chance of helping out a family than a girl. Plus, and this will probably shock you, it was mothers that preferred to have boys not the other way around. That was a different time, long, long ago.

http://learningenglish.voanews.com/a/ind...24534.html

Almost all of the google searches indicate that, in India, boys are preferred over girls, in all levels of society.

No, you're misunderstanding the situation. India doesn't prefer boys over girls or girls over boys. Families prefer to let their boys be work slaves and keep hold of the girls as their precious diamonds protected from all hardships and negative emotions. Boys have a really rough childhood when compared to girls, little to no emotional support, obvious bias against them even from family members etc. This obviously transitions to adulthood where boys are mentally tougher, has better general knowledge, better social skills etc. There is no bias involved at a societal level but an obvious one at a family level, what you think you see as a bias on the societal level is the after effects of the bias at the family level.

[ukatheist]

Is it still common in India for fathers of girls to pay a dowry to the groom/grooms family on marriage?

Sent from my ALE-L21 using Tapatalk

[ErGingerbreadMandude]

From reading your posts, it seems like there's a lot of burden being put on men in your patriarchal society. Would you say that a more gender equal society would balance the burden among the sexes (or the population as a whole)? What is your formula for making your society a more fulfilling, meaningful, and happier place?

A gender equal society(in the sense that people start treating boys or girls without any partiality) would definitely solve many current issues. It would be nice to see the general attitude of the people change and have them not see men as work slaves destined to provide for and keep others happy and well or not see women as these precious little diamonds that must be protected from anything and everything. That is however not the root of the problem. Let me explain, there is a reason why boys are treated this badly, it is because fathers prefer girls over boys. Fathers have an obvious favoritism towards girls so girls receive a default comforting life since fathers run the family. Mothers are however tough with the girls but fathers always intervene to save the precious thing. Mothers seem to prefer their boys but since a mother doesn't have much power in a family structure the boys are left with shit. The only way to remove this imbalance would be to somehow destroy the family unit but then a society would go to shit, so as boys living in a patriarchy we're pretty much stuck with being treated like shit.

Also, out of curiosity, is gender identity black and white in the patriarchal society in which you are a part of, or is there a gray area?

Transexualism is not a thing in India. Homosexuality is "somewhat" okay in India, there will be a lot of societal level backlash but legally every person is protected equally regardless of their sexuality. Besides, I don't agree with the gender fluid concept either. If you're a homosexual man that hate your dick they say you identify as a woman, I just don't see the need for this distinction of "Transexuals"; "Homosexuality" already covers that part but that's a topic for another time.

For example, would a homosexual man who gender identifies as a woman (or vice versa) be accepted in your society?

(bolding, the word "homosexual" and strikeout mine)
Will they be accepted at a social level? Probably not.

Would you say that your society is open-minded and open to change?

Open to change in regards to normalizing homosexuality? Nope, not currently. I know people that engage in homosexual acts but it's more like a fetish for them not a way of life. Although, I do feel like the upcoming generation is pretty open minded.

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If you're going to keep on attacking me I'm going to start attacking you back soon enough. The only reason I'm not doing it is because I don't want to destroy your will to live.

lol

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Moderator Notice
There are to be no more derailments in this thread. End of story.

I think first we need to find a railment

Keep provoking me.

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Is it still common in India for fathers of girls to pay a dowry to the groom/grooms family on marriage?

Sent from my ALE-L21 using Tapatalk

It's illegal to ask for dowry. The reason behind this is people used to ask too much money from a family that the whole family had to go into debt to pay the dowry and sometimes ended up in suicides. It's not illegal to give money to the groom though and most families still do it. Grooms don't specifically ask for this money but it is standard practice, although it is MUCH more common to see the bride pressure her own father to give a bigger amount. The concept of dowry is not "Money for the groom for marrying our daughter." it is more like "Money given to the groom to take care of our daughter". So it is much more common to see a woman demand dowry than the other way around.

[chimp3]

@poolthematey: India has had a female Prime Minister. I also know many female Indian doctors. Do you think these are advancements?

[Aoi Magi]

"working slaves" for whom? yourself?

A patriarchal society by definition is one which is controlled and dominated by "men", so if men are to be considered being slaves in such a society, then either they are slaves to themselves of their own volition or it is a different type of society, right?

That's the thing though, according to definitions a patriarchy is supposed to be all hugs and kisses for men. It's not. Our job is to break our backs working for others because Men are supposed to be leaders of a family. Patriarchy is a bit like men being voluntarily work slaves.

hmm, do you think it is possible that your viewpoint is biased?

And, if your society is actively oppressing men, why do you call it a patriarchy?