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Some relationship advice
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Hmm, looking at her choices in men and the distance between you two, the solution seems to either jerk or be a jerk.
Quote:To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty. Join me on atheistforums Slack  (pester tibs via pm if you need invite)  
Do what I always do. Make bread from her bones.
(In all seriousness, maybe you should let it go considering everything you said)  RE: Some relationship advice
April 15, 2017 at 7:40 am
(This post was last modified: April 15, 2017 at 7:41 am by brewer.)
I've been to removed from the dating scene to long to offer much advice. I gather from another thread that sending a dick pic should probably not be an option.
Unless you send like 1000 to others. Help math people, does that improve his odds with this one particular girl?
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
(April 15, 2017 at 7:40 am)mh.brewer Wrote: I've been to removed from the dating scene to long to offer much advice. I gather from another thread that sending a dick pic should probably not be an option. Well, a study shows people are generally attracted to someone whom several others are already attracted to, the creep method might increase chances of that, and it'll also boost the assholism score. Besides, if someones likes assholes, then a little jail-time and a few restraining orders might also be beneficial to the credentials. Quote:To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty. Join me on atheistforums Slack (pester tibs via pm if you need invite) (April 15, 2017 at 8:13 am)Aoi Magi Wrote:(April 15, 2017 at 7:40 am)mh.brewer Wrote: I've been to removed from the dating scene to long to offer much advice. I gather from another thread that sending a dick pic should probably not be an option. Did you just coin a new social term? Creep Cred!
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
You should probably go add that to UrbanDictionary.com
Disclaimer: I am only responsible for what I say, not what you choose to understand.
Talk to her about it. The fact that she "probably" knows how you feel, but you're not sure, is telling. Be for sure.
Living 100 miles away is a pretty big deal for 23 year olds. Take that into consideration when you think about whether you are going to pursue this or not. Its It's very difficult to start a relationship with that much distance, let alone maintain one.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---  (April 15, 2017 at 3:32 am)It_Was_me Wrote: I will just get straight to the point. There is a girl who I have known since I was in Community College. Which was 2012. So I have known her for 5 years now. I really like her, I just really do! The only problem is she is dating another guy right now. However, based off with how her last 2 boyfriends went it's only a matter of time until they break up. She seems to go out with these guys who turn out to be complete assholes. I really like her! So I just want what's best for her. However, how do I go about making a move? I am pretty sure she knows I like her, because I have told her some years before. However, we do talk quite a bit. We hung out last year after she broke up with boyfriend #2. We went to a baseball game with each other. She hates baseball, I love baseball. I joke about how I'm going to drag her to another game this season. haha But yeah. Do you think I will just be stuck in this friendzone forever with her? We don't see each other often since I live about 100 miles away for school. We are both 23. I'm 99.9% sure she views our friendship in high regards. 1. Let her go. You're in the friend zone and if she hasn't expressed any type of sexual/romantic interest in you in 5 years, she probably never will. Even if she does you'll most likely be a rebound or distraction for her so she can get over her last boyfriend, which isn't fair to you. Honestly I would distance myself from her starting immediately and you don't owe her an explanation, though it would be considerate to give her an explanation if you are very good friends. Have the "look, I'm into you and I know you're not into me, let's just go our separate ways" conversation. It won't be a comfortable conversation but I promise you you will feel good about yourself after. 2. If you can't let her go, wait til she's single and tell her how you feel. While I'm very much recommending you NOT do this, it is an option. Chances are she will shoot you down, but then at least you can say you put yourself out there and gave it a shot. If she does say no, once again I would probably end the friendship there, on as good of terms as you possibly can. Some people may disagree with me on this, but you're just torturing yourself man. You're spending time around a girl you want to have sex with... and she won't have sex with you. You care about her, so it seems, and you love her on a level that she will probably never love you on. There's no reason to put yourself through this. I have had plenty of female friends in life and quite honestly all of those friendships ended because of one of two reasons - 1. I made a move and she wasn't into it so it made things awkward after that. 2. She made a move and I wasn't into it so it made things awkward after that. And the friendships I've had with females that did work out... neither of us were attracted to one another. Sex, unfortunately, does complicate things.
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love. Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll   (April 15, 2017 at 3:32 am)It_Was_me Wrote: I will just get straight to the point. There is a girl who I have known since I was in Community College. Which was 2012. So I have known her for 5 years now. I really like her, I just really do! The only problem is she is dating another guy right now. However, based off with how her last 2 boyfriends went it's only a matter of time until they break up. She seems to go out with these guys who turn out to be complete assholes. I really like her! So I just want what's best for her. However, how do I go about making a move? I am pretty sure she knows I like her, because I have told her some years before. However, we do talk quite a bit. We hung out last year after she broke up with boyfriend #2. We went to a baseball game with each other. She hates baseball, I love baseball. I joke about how I'm going to drag her to another game this season. haha But yeah. Do you think I will just be stuck in this friendzone forever with her? We don't see each other often since I live about 100 miles away for school. We are both 23. I'm 99.9% sure she views our friendship in high regards. From your op, you seem to have a good heart. In particular, it sounds like this girl is in your heart and that you care about her. However, does she currently feel the same way about you? Is it possible for you to value and care for this person in a platonic way? If a platonic friendship will not do, then the advice offered by some of the posters so far, such as talking to her about how you feel and/or respectfully distancing yourself from the friendship (or even ending it on amicable terms), may be a wise course to consider. With that said, I hope that this girl appreciates your friendship. However, given that you two are friends, and she is dating someone else, why not put yourself out there, date other girls, and gain more experience? |
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