Why You Should Not Chew Your Food

[Rhondazvous]

Consider the philosophy the most good for the most people. Now when you chew your food that helps your digestion. Nobody else benefits from this but you. But when you don’t chew your food and it isn’t digested properly, countless people benefit from your upset stomach.

You have to go to the store fore medicine. That benefits the transportation industry no matter how you get to the store. The store benefits as well as the distributers, pharmacists and manufacturers of the medicine you buy. As an added social benefit, if you take antacids, the aluminum content is indicative of Alzheimer’s, so you’re benefiting doctors as well.

All these people have to pay their bills and send their kids to college. You can help simply by not chewing your food. Stuff that pizza into your mouth and swallow the biggest chunk that will go down your throat. It’s the right thing to do.

[vorlon13]

What if I have some one else chew my food for me ?

[Minimalist]

All these people have to pay their bills and send their kids to college. You can help simply by not chewing your food. Stuff that pizza into your mouth and swallow the biggest chunk that will go down your throat. It’s the right thing to do.

However if you don't have health insurance because of the fucking republicunts please disregard the aforementioned public service message.

[Thumpalumpacus]

And if you die of choking, the funeral business gains!

[Rhondazvous]

Yes, you're catching on. The only thing I recomend chewing is ice. That way your dentist will benefit. Your teeth will be like stars. They'll come out at night.

Forget health insurance. all that money you've got burning a hole in your pocket. Pay cash.

[brewer]

Are you advocating seed/fertilizer dispersal and pooping outdoors? I'm IN!

[Thumpalumpacus]

Reminds me of a joke:

Guy goes into a bar with a monkey. As soon as he sits down to order a drink, the monkey starts running riot, eating everything it could get its hands on -- the peanuts in the bowls, the napkins, even the cue ball on the pool table.

"What the hell's wrong with your monkey?" the bartender asks.

"Oh, nothing, he just likes to eat all sorts of things. If he eats anything to pricey, put it on my tab, no problem." The guy has another drink or two, gathers up his monkey, and leaves.

The pair return about two weeks later, and sure enough, as soon as the guy sits down, the monkey starts his thing -- he grabs a peanut from the bowl on the bar, sticks it in his ass, then pulls it out and eats it.

"Jesus Christ!" snarls the bartender, "I know your monkey likes eating stuff, but that's fucking gross!"

"I know, I know," says the monkey's owner in a resigned voice. "But ever since the cue ball, he checks the size of everything."

[Jackalope]

Reminded me of the parable of the broken window.

[Brian37]

Consider the philosophy the most good for the most people. Now when you chew your food that helps your digestion. Nobody else benefits from this but you. But when you don’t chew your food and it isn’t digested properly, countless people benefit from your upset stomach.

You have to go to the store fore medicine. That benefits the transportation industry no matter how you get to the store. The store benefits as well as the distributers, pharmacists and manufacturers of the medicine you buy. As an added social benefit, if you take antacids, the aluminum content is indicative of Alzheimer’s, so you’re benefiting doctors as well.

All these people have to pay their bills and send their kids to college. You can help simply by not chewing your food. Stuff that pizza into your mouth and swallow the biggest chunk that will go down your throat. It’s the right thing to do.

You know I love you lady, but this makes no sense at all.

We are not a species like crocks or gators whom can consume even solid bone. Sure you don't have to chew to the point it becomes brine, but some amount of chewing is required. Plus swallowing huge chunks also produces the risk of choking.

The only thing I hate about chewing is when people eat and smack their lips and keep their mouth open.

[vorlon13]

Why chew your food indeed, when Austin wants to do it for you . . .