2 pieces of advice for future parents

[vorlon13]

1. Duct tape is cheaper than daycare

2. There is no #2

Helpful hint:

Benadryl (no tell tale residue)

[Foxaèr]

1. Treat them as equals.
2. Don't dismiss what they're personally experiencing.

Go read Rosemond.

Srsly.

Stop pimping your ho. :p

[Divinity]

1. Only be strict about shit that matters. I always preferred my kids to go to a party and get drunk and then call me to pick them up, than for them to go to a party get drunk and then drive home. I'd rather my kids use protection when having sex, than risk pregnancy and STD's.

2. Punishments should be about teaching. Spanking does NOT fucking teach a kid anything except to get away with it next time.

[Edwardo Piet]

1. Be a guide, not a dictator
2. See yourself through your child's eyes

The first one is kind of obvious. Or at least it should be but isn't to some parents!

The second one is fucking brilliant. Great advice.

I'd also like to add a bonus, number 3: Do a better job than your own parents did

[KevinM1]

1. Don't let society pressure you into having kids if you don't want them, and don't have them if you don't feel ready for them (this is one of the reasons why access to family planning and health care is important).

2. If you do have kids, remember that they're kids and not adults. They're not there to be used as a living doll for you to show off to friends and then ignore the rest of the time. They're not there to be your psychologist as you vent about things going on in your adult life that they really shouldn't be listening to. They're not supposed to be your only, best friend(s).

The combination happens far too often around my neck of the world. A bunch of parents unintentionally messing up the future generation because they have no coping mechanism of their own, and naively thought that having a child or two would magically turn them into a functional adult. It doesn't work that way. Kids aren't magic. Having one isn't going to save your relationship with your significant other, make you into a good person, or any of that shit.

[Joods]

1. Duct tape is cheaper than daycare

2. There is no #2

I can attest to this. 

1. Make sure you run out of fucks to give before you have kids, that way, when you need to discipline them out in public, you can easily use embarrassment as a weapon. 

2. Don't make empty threats 50 times and then wonder why your kids don't listen. Follow through with the threat the first time and they will take you seriously from then on out.

[The Valkyrie]

1. DON'T DO IT!!!
2. If you do, they go best with steak sauce.
3. "Tasers"

[mlmooney89]

Remember that your parenting style doesn't have to fit someone else's. Just because they do or don't do something with/for/because of their kids doesn't mean you have to follow suit if you disagree. It doesn't make you a bad parent.

Don't want to spank? Don't.
Want to spank? Do
Don't want to use time out? Don't
Want to use time out? Do
Don't want them to know what McDonalds is before 7? Don't tell them about it.
Want to treat your five year old to a Happy Meal? Do it.

As long as you aren't actually hurting your kid or anyone else tell others to go fuck themselves.

[Losty]

1: buy the good scotch, you're worth it
2: there's no shame in hiding in the pantry to enjoy a secret snack you don't want to share

[Seraphina]

All I know is that I used to know everything about how to raise a kid. I had exactly the correct answer for every sticky situation and circumstance.

Then I had a kid!

The only thing I would say is (with apologies to an old army marketing campaign) that it's the toughest job you'll ever love.

-Teresa