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How to Make God Laugh
#31
RE: How to Make God Laugh
You say that it is possible to make god laugh.
So, you obviously have proof that you have accomplished this feat.
Post the video, with this deity explaining why you are funny, and with multiple observers attesting to the fact.
No video, it didn't happen.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#32
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 7, 2017 at 1:33 am)drfuzzy Wrote: You say that it is possible to make god laugh.
So, you obviously have proof that you have accomplished this feat.
Post the video, with this deity explaining why you are funny, and with multiple observers attesting to the fact.
No video, it didn't happen.
Do you really need MORE proof that I am a fucking idiot! I actually really did that in a liquor store with a full basket of various alcohol telling everyone, "The wine is just for cooking". I said, "print me a Power Ball ticket but, first let me pray to my God" and I prayed that prayer very loudly because I'm really a fucking idiot! Everyone laughed! Also, I was a bit miffed at God at the time. Paybacks a bitch!
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#33
RE: How to Make God Laugh
Serious question: is there any documented mention in the Bible of either God or Jesus laughing? Or making a joke? Or finding humour in anything at all? Just wondering...
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#34
RE: How to Make God Laugh
It's full of puns and wordplay, does that count?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#35
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 7, 2017 at 10:28 am)Khemikal Wrote: It's full of puns and wordplay, does that count?

Well, you could argue the Bible's a big joke from beginning to end - but, I was actually interested if there was a genuine moment of Jesus humour...
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#36
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 6, 2017 at 11:35 am)Whateverist Wrote:
(November 30, 2017 at 10:53 am)Drich Wrote: Only if and when He wants too.


Never fails to amaze me how willing his suck-ups are to speak on His behalf.  Guess they realize if they don't, the uninitiated sure aren't going to ever hear from the big guy themselves.

That's not true.

It more like the "uninitiated" can't discern what is and is not from God. They hear from God all the time, they just dont know it is God that is speaking because in their mind their idea of God must present Himself in a grandiose way.

That God died when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the people in acts 2:38. Now everyone has access to God. (but they are still looking for burning bushes)
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#37
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 7, 2017 at 11:58 am)Drich Wrote:
(December 6, 2017 at 11:35 am)Whateverist Wrote: Never fails to amaze me how willing his suck-ups are to speak on His behalf.  Guess they realize if they don't, the uninitiated sure aren't going to ever hear from the big guy themselves.

That's not true.

It more like the "uninitiated" can't discern what is and is not from God. They hear from God all the time, they just dont know it is God that is speaking because in their mind their idea of God must present Himself in a grandiose way.

That God died when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the people in acts 2:38. Now everyone has access to God. (but they are still looking for burning bushes)

If god's voice is completely indistinguishable from internal chatter and mental glitches, then there is no reason to believe that the "messages" are from any deity.  And if that is the only way that "god" can communicate, through fantasy and musing and emotion, then this deity is ridiculously incompetent, and not worthy of worship even if it does exist.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#38
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 7, 2017 at 12:03 am)LadyForCamus Wrote:
(November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.

So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?

But...that's the old testament.  Doesn't count.  *eats popcorn*

(November 30, 2017 at 10:53 am)Drich Wrote: Only if and when He wants too.

That makes no sense.
How does God describe Himself? Does He use the "omni-aspects of God the Church uses?" Omni present omniopotent omni benevolent?? NO!

God simply describes Himself as Alpha and Omega the beginning and end to all things, in another part of the OT he says He is "The Great I am."

So what do these two things mean together or seperate?

Alpha and Omega means there is nothing great stronger or before God. this not only includes physical things but principles and or rule/ calls to judgement. Omega kinda the same meaning but on the other end of the book case end. it means nothing is greater after nothing has the last word, His word His decision is final nothing will ever superseded or change what He says.

Now marry that idea with "The Great I Am"

And you have not an Omni-max god because the idea of an omni-max God ties God to the rules of an omni max God. (which is why small minds like epicrus can come up with paradoxes.) Because God has shown in the bible he does not follow what an omni max God could or would do. This means God is not omni max but an alpha and omega. Meaning God is what God wants to be when he wants to be it. Can God create a stone so big He could not lift it? Omni-max God=paradox. Alpha and Omega/Great I am= Yes if He wanted to no if He did not.

Same goes to what does not make sense to you. If God wanted to do "X" then God would do "X" if God did not want to do "X" then God would not have to.

(December 7, 2017 at 12:04 pm)drfuzzy Wrote:
(December 7, 2017 at 11:58 am)Drich Wrote: That's not true.

It more like the "uninitiated" can't discern what is and is not from God. They hear from God all the time, they just dont know it is God that is speaking because in their mind their idea of God must present Himself in a grandiose way.

That God died when the Holy Spirit was poured out on the people in acts 2:38. Now everyone has access to God. (but they are still looking for burning bushes)

If god's voice is completely indistinguishable from internal chatter and mental glitches, then there is no reason to believe that the "messages" are from any deity.  And if that is the only way that "god" can communicate, through fantasy and musing and emotion, then this deity is ridiculously incompetent, and not worthy of worship even if it does exist.
https://atheistforums.org/thread-13378.html

And if God sits someone next to you, or sends someone like me?

What if God is not confined to "speaking to you" in the way you expect to see Him, could you would you be able to recognize His voice?
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#39
RE: How to Make God Laugh
Quote:10 Then the word of the Lord came to Samuel: 11 “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.”

1 Sam 15

How come your fucking all-knowing god didn't see this coming?  What a dork.
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#40
RE: How to Make God Laugh
The idea that god would send you, Drich...for anything even remotely important... is high comedy. May as well send a can of gas and a match.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply



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