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How to Make God Laugh
#21
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm)Succubus Wrote: Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.
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#22
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am)vulcanlogician Wrote:
(November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: God knows everything.

I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.

So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?

Yes, in the context of each of those stories you just referenced, he was humoring people.  

Rather than simply adjudicate adams transgression, he provided the opportunity for Adam to pile on additional offense by lying to him. Wouldn;t have to be a god to know what happened anyway, the place would have reeked of sexytimes. Soap and showering weren't a thing yet.

He asked Cain where his brother was..knowing where Cains brother was..amusingly, Cain would not have known..because there had never been a death - "How should I know, am I my brothers keeper?" is the most honest statement in the whole of the OT.

Sure, he regrets after the flood.  He regrets making Saul king..too, but only insomuch as his golems have failed his expectations for them in both cases.  

He didn't -have- to send the angels, he already knew.  He was heckled into negotiating with a jew on transactional grounds and, apparently, saw a way to create an evil race through incest which he would later use as a foil in a genocidal war of conquest while doing double duty as an exposition on the filthiness of women, another favorite target of his ire.  Remember, it wasn't Lot's fault. He was under alot of stress, he lost his house when the market in Sodom went upside down, his nagging wife had just been turned into a pillar of salt.  You know how it is, you wanna blow off some steam....you have a little too much to drink, and just can't help but engage in a threeway with your teenage daughters.

We've all been there.
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#23
RE: How to Make God Laugh
The buck always stops with god .
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.

Inuit Proverb

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#24
RE: How to Make God Laugh
I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
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#25
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 6, 2017 at 12:02 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen
You are a bit beyond al dente noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty! Pasties: oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!
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#26
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 6, 2017 at 12:48 am)Haipule Wrote:
(December 6, 2017 at 12:02 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen
You are a bit beyond al dente noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty! Pasties: oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!

Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
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#27
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 6, 2017 at 12:50 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote:
(December 6, 2017 at 12:48 am)Haipule Wrote: You are a bit beyond al dente(overcooked noodle) noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty(undercooked noodle)! Pasties(a covering for a woman's nipple): oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!

Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen
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#28
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(December 6, 2017 at 1:05 am)Haipule Wrote:
(December 6, 2017 at 12:50 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen

Close but adding definitions to the words I knew, a sentence it does not make.

Have a blessed day.

RAmen
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
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#29
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(November 30, 2017 at 10:53 am)Drich Wrote:
(November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm)Succubus Wrote: Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.


Never fails to amaze me how willing his suck-ups are to speak on His behalf.  Guess they realize if they don't, the uninitiated sure aren't going to ever hear from the big guy themselves.
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#30
RE: How to Make God Laugh
(November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am)vulcanlogician Wrote:
(November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: God knows everything.

I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.

So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?

But...that's the old testament.  Doesn't count.  *eats popcorn*

(November 30, 2017 at 10:53 am)Drich Wrote:
(November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm)Succubus Wrote: Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.

That makes no sense.
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”

Wiser words were never spoken. 
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