How to Make God Laugh

[Drich]

Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.

[The Grand Nudger]

God knows everything.

I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.

So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?

Yes, in the context of each of those stories you just referenced, he was humoring people.  

Rather than simply adjudicate adams transgression, he provided the opportunity for Adam to pile on additional offense by lying to him. Wouldn;t have to be a god to know what happened anyway, the place would have reeked of sexytimes. Soap and showering weren't a thing yet.

He asked Cain where his brother was..knowing where Cains brother was..amusingly, Cain would not have known..because there had never been a death - "How should I know, am I my brothers keeper?" is the most honest statement in the whole of the OT.

Sure, he regrets after the flood.  He regrets making Saul king..too, but only insomuch as his golems have failed his expectations for them in both cases.  

He didn't -have- to send the angels, he already knew.  He was heckled into negotiating with a jew on transactional grounds and, apparently, saw a way to create an evil race through incest which he would later use as a foil in a genocidal war of conquest while doing double duty as an exposition on the filthiness of women, another favorite target of his ire.  Remember, it wasn't Lot's fault. He was under alot of stress, he lost his house when the market in Sodom went upside down, his nagging wife had just been turned into a pillar of salt.  You know how it is, you wanna blow off some steam....you have a little too much to drink, and just can't help but engage in a threeway with your teenage daughters.

We've all been there.

[Amarok]

The buck always stops with god .

[Nay_Sayer]

I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen

[Haipule]

I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen

You are a bit beyond al dente noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty! Pasties: oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!

[Nay_Sayer]

I don't need to. He's already chuckling at how silly humans are.
RAmen

You are a bit beyond al dente noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty! Pasties: oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!

Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen

[Haipule]

You are a bit beyond al dente(overcooked noodle) noodleboy! Well, at least you're not pasty(undercooked noodle)! Pasties(a covering for a woman's nipple): oooh, make me hungry!

I once saw Elvira(Cassandra Peterson), The Mistress of the Dark, wearing tasseled pasties! I was mesmerized!

Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen

[Nay_Sayer]

Your hovercraft is full of eels. Please try again in English, I appreciate your anticipated cooperation.
RAmen

Close but adding definitions to the words I knew, a sentence it does not make.

Have a blessed day.

RAmen

[Whateverist]

Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.

Never fails to amaze me how willing his suck-ups are to speak on His behalf.  Guess they realize if they don't, the uninitiated sure aren't going to ever hear from the big guy themselves.

[LadyForCamus]

God knows everything.

I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.

So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?

But...that's the old testament.  Doesn't count.  *eats popcorn*

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Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?

Only if and when He wants too.

That makes no sense.