Forced To Live With An Obnoxious Person

[Brian37]

I would flat out refuse to live with someone like that. I dont care what i had to do. I'd go back to living with my parents.

NOT THAT SIMPLE.......

He made it about state, in reality that extreme is not about state, but mental health.

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What Capn said - how are you "forced"?  If it's your house, can't you kick him out?  If it's his house, can't you move? (Sorry if I missed something here, had to skim the post, gotta run . . . )  
I've known people like that - you have my sympathy.

I think everyone is missing my prior post.

Yes it is true, if your name is on the deed, or rental contract, you can use law to get someone out. In most cases though, you cant simply kick them out, but have to file a claim to a court to get them removed. YES even if it is your own house.

NOT MY POINT. Not even saying you should have to put up with it.

I AM SAYING that when someone lives like that, AND I HAVE myself, gotten to the point of living in a dumpster, MY OWN HOUSE, it is not a matter of politics or region. It is mental, and lots of things can fuel that behavior. Addictions and or depression. 

I took issue with the blame of "rednecks". I MYSELF let my house get out of control and it at one point looked like a documentary dumpster. I didn't vote for Trump nor was I raised in a Red State.

When I did live with my mother, or had a roommate I did a far better job keeping things clean. MY FRIEND JOHN, whom lives BY HIMSELF, in Norman Oklahoma, is a liberal Redneck, but he maintains his apartment quite well.

This person has mental issues regardless of whom he blames. AND AGAIN, not saying one has to, or should put up with it. My point is mental health problems are not a party or state issue, and can effect anyone of any party or any state.

[brewer]

OP: Somehow I doubt that you are/were forced.

[The Grand Nudger]

Well, if it's family...we're often forced by our solidarity and principles.  In my case..after my little bro wore out his welcome everywhere else I took him in.  The other option was homelessness....or more accurately, for my family, a toothless threat of being made homeless.

He's not holding a gun to my head, but the effect would be the same if he were. Everyone wishes he would stop being a useless ne'er do well..or..failing that..that he'd stop being so fucking shitty and/or fucked up as a person/houseguest...but since he's not improving in either category at present, the reality is that someone has to put up with him (we can revolving door him) or we have to put him out on the street. Since the latter won;t happen, and the former is current reality, that's as forced as anything can be.

It's an inconvenient position to be in. This is a kid that got kicked out of his grandmothers house for shit talking her to her husband..his grandfather. Just dumb. If you're crashing somebodies couch, being a douche to their wife of 60 years is a no-go.

[The Valkyrie]

When I first moved cities for uni, I was living in a house with three other people.

One of the guys pretty much didn't bathe and stank to high heaven, and refused to do housework. Luckily I ran into an old friend who was happy for me to move in with her.

[Brian37]

OP: Somehow I doubt that you are/were forced.

UGGGGGG.........

Why are people missing my posts.

You can focus on that word all you want, and you can argue RIGHTFULLY they were not forced.

It still has nothing to do with mental health issues. THE OP was STILL wrongfully making it about Rednecks when the real issue is mental health. Nobody should say they should not deal with it, even though you are right that they are not forced to.

MY issue is those with mental health issues CAN BE WRONG, but the mental health issue itself is not a political party or State issue. 

NO the OP isn't forced, but that still does not address it was wrong to place blame on region or political party or state, in response to a lagit concern.

The person they are dealing with has mental health issues that lead to that behavior. 

My advice is if you have to remove them, get legal advice first. BUT also see if you can get them professional help even if you want them out. Dumping someone out on the street may make one feel good and relieve your own stress, but if they have no help, all you are doing is making it a bigger problem for the rest of society.

NO NO NO NO NO, I am not saying leave things the way they are. If the OP wants them out, it is understandable. But when you do that, see if you can get law to help them, social services to help them. It sounds like this person needs help the OP can't give them. I simply am saying if you RIGHTFULLY boot them, at the same time try to find help for them in a professional setting. Nobody should excuse what they are doing.

I hated myself for the way I lived and feared discovery constantly. The stigma and fear is horrible to live under. I was at least lucky enough to live by myself and owned my house to not have to fear punishment from law. But the stigma of judgment is still there.

I am not advising the OP to keep other's problems or placate them. I am saying as I said before, that those kinds of behaviors are not political, state or class based and can affect anyone.

[KevinM1]

When I first moved cities for uni, I was living in a house with three other people.

One of the guys pretty much didn't bathe and stank to high heaven, and refused to do housework.  Luckily I ran into an old friend who was happy for me to move in with her.

I can't imagine being an adult and refusing to bathe regularly. I mean, I know those people exist (plenty at UNH during my time there), but the water saved doesn't equal the hygiene cost or the social stigma.

Soap, shampoo, toothpaste. If you can afford beer, cigarettes, and/or weed, you can afford those other things.

[drfuzzy]

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I would flat out refuse to live with someone like that. I dont care what i had to do. I'd go back to living with my parents.

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NOT THAT SIMPLE.......

He made it about state, in reality that extreme is not about state, but mental health.

---

---

What Capn said - how are you "forced"?  If it's your house, can't you kick him out?  If it's his house, can't you move? (Sorry if I missed something here, had to skim the post, gotta run . . . )  
I've known people like that - you have my sympathy.

I think everyone is missing my prior post.

Yes it is true, if your name is on the deed, or rental contract, you can use law to get someone out. In most cases though, you cant simply kick them out, but have to file a claim to a court to get them removed. YES even if it is your own house.

NOT MY POINT. Not even saying you should have to put up with it.

I AM SAYING that when someone lives like that, AND I HAVE myself, gotten to the point of living in a dumpster, MY OWN HOUSE, it is not a matter of politics or region. It is mental, and lots of things can fuel that behavior. Addictions and or depression. 

I took issue with the blame of "rednecks". I MYSELF let my house get out of control and it at one point looked like a documentary dumpster. I didn't vote for Trump nor was I raised in a Red State.

When I did live with my mother, or had a roommate I did a far better job keeping things clean. MY FRIEND JOHN, whom lives BY HIMSELF, in Norman Oklahoma, is a liberal Redneck, but he maintains his apartment quite well.

This person has mental issues regardless of whom he blames. AND AGAIN, not saying one has to, or should put up with it. My point is mental health problems are not a party or state issue, and can effect anyone of any party or any state.

Brian, relax!  -- And your post came after mine.  
I saw the redneck, white trash references in the OP.  I bristled at them too but didn't have any time to ask more than the question.  
I understand poor housekeeping from a depression point of view.  I've been there.  
His "roommate" sounds mostly entitled to me.  Somebody who has always had someone cook and clean for him, and never taught to do these things himself.
Heck, in jail he probably didn't even have to wash dishes or clean.  Yes, the person could have mental issues and labeling him as "stupid white trash redneck" 
is unhelpful.  Or he may just be spoiled and lazy.
But I'm still curious about why Mega sounds so trapped.

[brewer]

OP: Somehow I doubt that you are/were forced.

UGGGGGG.........

Why are people missing my posts.

You can focus on that word all you want, and you can argue RIGHTFULLY they were not forced.

It still has nothing to do with mental health issues. THE OP was STILL wrongfully making it about Rednecks when the real issue is mental health. Nobody should say they should not deal with it, even though you are right that they are not forced to.

MY issue is those with mental health issues CAN BE WRONG, but the mental health issue itself is not a political party or State issue. 

NO the OP isn't forced, but that still does not address it was wrong to place blame on region or political party or state, in response to a lagit concern.

The person they are dealing with has mental health issues that lead to that behavior. 

My advice is if you have to remove them, get legal advice first. BUT also see if you can get them professional help even if you want them out. Dumping someone out on the street may make one feel good and relieve your own stress, but if they have no help, all you are doing is making it a bigger problem for the rest of society.

NO NO NO NO NO, I am not saying leave things the way they are. If the OP wants them out, it is understandable. But when you do that, see if you can get law to help them, social services to help them. It sounds like this person needs help the OP can't give them. I simply am saying if you RIGHTFULLY boot them, at the same time try to find help for them in a professional setting. Nobody should excuse what they are doing.

I hated myself for the way I lived and feared discovery constantly. The stigma and fear is horrible to live under. I was at least lucky enough to live by myself and owned my house to not have to fear punishment from law. But the stigma of judgment is still there.

I am not advising the OP to keep other's problems or placate them. I am saying as I said before, that those kinds of behaviors are not political, state or class based and can affect anyone.

Thank you Dr. Brian for the diagnosis.

I think the OP moved in with this individual, not the other way around.

[Brian37]

---

NOT THAT SIMPLE.......

He made it about state, in reality that extreme is not about state, but mental health.

---

---

I think everyone is missing my prior post.

Yes it is true, if your name is on the deed, or rental contract, you can use law to get someone out. In most cases though, you cant simply kick them out, but have to file a claim to a court to get them removed. YES even if it is your own house.

NOT MY POINT. Not even saying you should have to put up with it.

I AM SAYING that when someone lives like that, AND I HAVE myself, gotten to the point of living in a dumpster, MY OWN HOUSE, it is not a matter of politics or region. It is mental, and lots of things can fuel that behavior. Addictions and or depression. 

I took issue with the blame of "rednecks". I MYSELF let my house get out of control and it at one point looked like a documentary dumpster. I didn't vote for Trump nor was I raised in a Red State.

When I did live with my mother, or had a roommate I did a far better job keeping things clean. MY FRIEND JOHN, whom lives BY HIMSELF, in Norman Oklahoma, is a liberal Redneck, but he maintains his apartment quite well.

This person has mental issues regardless of whom he blames. AND AGAIN, not saying one has to, or should put up with it. My point is mental health problems are not a party or state issue, and can effect anyone of any party or any state.

Brian, relax!  -- And your post came after mine.  
I saw the redneck, white trash references in the OP.  I bristled at them too but didn't have any time to ask more than the question.  
I understand poor housekeeping from a depression point of view.  I've been there.  
His "roommate" sounds mostly entitled to me.  Somebody who has always had someone cook and clean for him, and never taught to do these things himself.
Heck, in jail he probably didn't even have to wash dishes or clean.  Yes, the person could have mental issues and labeling him as "stupid white trash redneck" 
is unhelpful.  Or he may just be spoiled and lazy.
But I'm still curious about why Mega sounds so trapped.

Fair enough, but as you "bristled" I guess I was taking that "redneck" comment more personally having a best friend who grew up religious, grew out of religion, and even went from Libertarian economically when I first met him, to now being both a economic and social Liberal completely.

My only point in all this was that the problem that the OP is having has nothing to do with politics or state. Those behaviors can affect anyone in any state, and even of any class.


John(Rubber Ducky in the NFL Pick Em Thread) is more well kept than I am, and also far more polite to theists than I am. I often tease him that he is the Redneck "Martin Luther King Jr" and I am more the VERBALLY ONLY "Malcolm X" atheist.


I love John, he loves Banjo Music and Country Music, and he likes to torture me with it, so much so we made a side bet, in that NFL thread here as to which all of you are going to hear me sing "Achy Breaky Heart" after the Super Bowl. And I can tell you John while he is not museum obsessed with neatness, he'd freak out if I invited him to live with me.

[Whateverist]

I hope you feel better getting that off your chest. And though it may be inaccurate to stereotype, you've described like twenty people that I know PERFECTLY from the dirty dishes, to the welfare, to the Trump worship.

Stay sane.

You poor bastards.  I hope you can avoid living with them at least.  Uggg.