Aziz Ansari Doesn't Pick Up On "Non-Verbal Cues" and Gets Treated Like A Rapist

[Shell B]

My husband kisses me forcefully when we’re in the midst of an encounter where we’ve both performed consensual oral sex, as with this situation. If you don’t want it, you have to be clear. Furthermore, the moment she told him she had been uncomfortable (the next day), he apologized. Finally, we’re hearing one side of the consensual story from the person who regretted the incident.

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Nothing you have posted is any different from an awkward sexual encounter where one person is less than enthusiastic, but doesn’t say no. Moreover, when she did, he stopped. Also, so what if he put his fingers in her mouth? They were being sexual. Women aren’t children. They’re perfectly capable of articulating what they like and don’t like. Don’t paint us as helpless victims who need to be handled like we have special needs. The guy is bad at sex and couldn’t take ambiguous cues. When it was made unambiguous, he immediately stopped.

Then you clearly were not looking

If you say so.

[Amarok]

Seriously are the two of you actually reading what i highlighted . She did say no and psychically objected to his advances . Are you blind ?

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My husband kisses me forcefully when we’re in the midst of an encounter 

Accept this was after she expressed discomfort seriously  

where we’ve both performed consensual oral sex, as with this situation.

You clearly were not reading during and before that like i hightligted . It's not even close to what your describing 

 If you don’t want it, you have to be clear.

She was clear that she was not comfortable but he kept pressuring here . Seriesly were you reading . 

 

Furthermore, the moment she told him she had been uncomfortable (the next day), he apologized. Finally, we’re hearing one side of the consensual story from the person who regretted the incident.

It did not stop him from continually being aggressive when she clearly was expressed her discomfort . As for his regret . Rapist can be regretful too. Remorse after the fact does not change a thing.And furthermore she expressed discomfort DURING SEX not just the next day . And no were hearing the perspective of a person who feels they were treated poorly and clearly expressed it during the encounter and is reflected in her account .

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If you say so.

Yes i do say so because nothing you just said is reflected in what i highlighted

[Shell B]

When did she say no and he not stop? When she said no to sex, they got dressed and watched tv. He kissed her on the couch after that, since she sat there with him and he presumably didn’t realize she meant no to everything. She didn’t like the further kisses. When she said no to that, he stopped that. Feeling uncomfortable isn’t lack of consent. Once you’re in mutual sexual intercourse of any kind, it’s up to you as an adult to make clear what you want. When she did, he complied. Simple.

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She didn’t express discomfort during sex. She did before sex and the sex didn’t happen. When he ate her out and she gave him a blow job, she went along with it. She consented to everything that happened except a few kisses that stopped as soon as he realized, which I agree he probably should have sooner if her account is completely accurate and not editorialized by the woman who wrote the piece.

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Rapist can be regretful too.

He’s not a rapist. She didn’t even accuse him of rape. At worst, he’s a shitty, pushy date.

[Amarok]

Just a few kisses . Stopped she asked?

While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants. She turned away. She remembers “feeling in a different mindset at that point.”

This moment is particularly significant for Grace, because she thought that would be the end of the sexual encounter — her remark about not wanting to feel “forced” had added a verbal component to the cues she was trying to give him about her discomfort. When she sat down on the floor next to Ansari, who sat on the couch, she thought he might rub her back, or play with her hair — something to calm her down.

Halfway into the encounter, he led her from the couch to a different part of his apartment. He said he had to show her something. Then he brought her to a large mirror, bent her over and asked her again, “Where do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me to fuck you right here?” He rammed his penis against her ass while he said it, pantomiming intercourse



Not while they were having sex ? . expressing discomfort which she did . 

Ansari instructed her to turn around. “He sat back and pointed to his penis and motioned for me to go down on him. And I did. I think I just felt really pressured. It was literally the most unexpected thing I thought would happen at that moment because I told him I was uncomfortable.”

[Shell B]

ALL he did was point at his penis and she sucked it. Dude, mixed signals at the very least. People are so quick to jump on this bandwagon. It waters down actual rape when you call this rape. Thanks for that. I’d have taken a night like this over the ones I actually got anytime.

[The Grand Nudger]

It sounds like he did quite a bit more..but if she didn't want his dick in her mouth she shouldn't have put it there. I say that...and I think it sounds like the most obvious thing in the world.  OTOH, I keep telling my kids not to put strange shit in their mouths and success is spotty at best.

@Face value, Aziz is obviously a creep, and it wouldn't surprise me if he were a rapist, but it doesn't sound like the sort of thing that could secure a rape conviction.

[Shell B]

From her statements, I don’t think for a second he would have continued if she had just said, “I’m not into screwing around tonight” and pushed away all of his advances instead of continuing to engage in some actions and not others, later claiming she didn’t want those either. He didn’t make her. It was a shitty as fuck date, but he definitely didn’t make her.

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I’d be surprised if he was a rapist. Odd thing for a rapist to do, stop and send for an Uber. If men could be judged as probable rapists for being pushy when women are internally uncomfortable, you’re all rapists.

[Amarok]

 I told him I was uncomfortable

Mixed signals ?

 I’d have taken a night like this over the ones I actually got anytime.

Then you are a strange women 

People are so quick to jump on this bandwagon. It waters down actual rape when you call this rape. Thanks for that.

Yeah and for years people have  down played ignored actual rape. That's how fuckers like Whingestein got away with it for so long . So maybe direct snark towards them 

He’s not a rapist. She didn’t even accuse him of rape. At worst, he’s a shitty, pushy date.

I never said he was ethier . I said even rapists can feel remorse . So even if he felt remorse that proves nothing . Once again your reading skills are lacking .

[The Grand Nudger]

IDK, I've never had a night like the one Aziz just had.  He's sure as shit putting in the work to straddle the line between a creep and a rapist, in my opinion, lol.

[Amarok]

She clearly expressed she was not interested in fucking and he continued to try and push it with touching . As for stopping and calling her a cab . That only proves he's not willing to go to certain point or that he lost his nerve at a certain point (note i never said he was a rapist ). That's like saying it's odd for someone planning to murder someone to not do it and call the person a cab.

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IDK, I've never had a night like the one Aziz just had.  He's sure as shit putting in the work to straddle the line between a creep and a rapist, in my opinion, lol.

Oh the guys at best a creep