Question for the heterosexual men of AF

[Catholic_Lady]

This question comes from the exchange between Ham and Flying Narwhal on this thread:  https://atheistforums.org/thread-53967.html (relevant part begins on page 2). 

So, I got curious and wanted to ask here. If you were initially attracted to someone you saw and spoke with (maybe went on a couple dates with), and found out after the fact that this person is biologically male because they told you, would this fact alone be a deal breaker to you in terms of continuing to pursue a romantic relationship? Would you no longer feel sexually attracted to the person nor interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with them? Please be honest and explain your response. 

*Assume this person has done all the sex reassignment surgical procedures/hormone therapy, etc, for the transition process and looks feminine.

Do they still have a penis coz that would definitely be a deal breaker. About the rest I honestly don't know.  It think I may be taken a back but get through it, like the time I was dating a girl with a nice tan then discovered she was actually black. I was just surprised fro a second.

No, they got gender reassignment surgery on their genitalia.

[Brian37]

Do they still have a penis coz that would definitely be a deal breaker. About the rest I honestly don't know.  It think I may be taken a back but get through it, like the time I was dating a girl with a nice tan then discovered she was actually black. I was just surprised fro a second.

No, they got gender reassignment surgery on their genitalia.

I think you meant "to the other genitalia" not "on their genitalia". 

It belly button terms, it would be an inni to an outy or an outy to an inny.

But having said that, even with those who have breasts and keep their penis, you'd have to ask the individual what they think they are. I am very willing to address the person as male or female if that is what they want. Just like I'd prefer people call me Brian and not "Bri". Don't call me Bri. CRAP, opened a can of worms with that one.

[Losty]

No, they got gender reassignment surgery on their genitalia.

I think you meant "to the other genitalia" not "on their genitalia". 

It belly button terms, it would be an inni to an outy or an outy to an inny.

But having said that, even with those who have breasts and keep their penis, you'd have to ask the individual what they think they are. I am very willing to address the person as male or female if that is what they want. Just like I'd prefer people call me Brian and not "Bri". Don't call me Bri. CRAP, opened a can of worms with that one.

What about Brie?

[Brian37]

I think you meant "to the other genitalia" not "on their genitalia". 

It belly button terms, it would be an inni to an outy or an outy to an inny.

But having said that, even with those who have breasts and keep their penis, you'd have to ask the individual what they think they are. I am very willing to address the person as male or female if that is what they want. Just like I'd prefer people call me Brian and not "Bri". Don't call me Bri. CRAP, opened a can of worms with that one.

What about Brie?

That was a cheesy joke. 

Funny thing, a long time ago I worked at a 7-11 with a married couple from Pakistan who were my managers, husband and wife. Great people, I still to this day don't know why they put up with me, because I was full of anxiety and frustrated with the pace of that place and yelled alot. But Saad's wife Rabina couldn't pronounce my name. She couldn't pronounce "Ba-r-eye-ann". And always pronounced it Breeeee ann. He he. Oh well, if anyone wants to have a laugh at my expense ask me to speak your language.

My X would always laugh at my attempts to speak Japanese too.

[Shell B]

Hammy, there's plenty enough desperate guys like you to service the trans women out there, so what's the big deal?

Douche.

---

I was just surprised fro a second.

[The Grand Nudger]

The douchey comment at least expresses the reality of why some people would nope out even though they were attracted to an upfront trans who had told them they used to be a man.

Fear that it says something icky about their own sexuality. That they're desperate enough to be queer, or..you know..are just queer in general.

[Shell B]

No one doubted that there were people who have douche reasons. The thing that seems surprising to some is that there are people who aren't "transphobic" who still wouldn't fuck someone who is transgender. I don't know what a bottle of Southern Comfort would have done to my feelings on that subject back in the day, but now I know I have enough shit swirling around in my brain than to add that kind of baggage. If it makes anyone feels more self righteous, I've never banged a bisexual guy either, that I know of.

[The Industrial Atheist]

You know I'm not sure I would or wouldn't. I don't think I could know for sure unless it actually happened.
I don't think it would bother me. Especially if they were really sweet to me.
But I can't guarantee that it wouldn't if it really happened.
I think I could understand secrets, as I have my own and belong to 2 stigmatized groups myself.
Maybe the idea of coming into contact with male type ejaculate during sex doesn't seem so hot.

[Brian37]

You know I'm not sure I would or wouldn't. I don't think I could know for sure unless it actually happened.
I don't think it would bother me. Especially if they were really sweet to me.
But I can't guarantee that it wouldn't if it really happened.
I think I could understand secrets, as I have my own and belong to 2 stigmatized groups myself.
Maybe the idea of coming into contact with male type ejaculate during sex doesn't seem so hot.

I am sure you can find plenty of gays and heterosexual women who would not like the stickiness of ejaculate. Regardless of orientation many humans don't like what they see as warm sloppy body fluids. I like giving women oral, but I have run into men who don't. I think it would be for the same reason. It still amounts to personal comfort. 

Even with mere kissing between heterosexuals. I have dated females who don't like French kissing and others who have no problem exchanging deep throat tongue. I have talked to men on both sides of kissing too.

Some humans don't mind the "messiness" of the fluids, others do. I don't think it is just about male ejaculate. It still ultimately amounts to consent and comfort level.

Same can be said with anal, regardless of LGBT or heterosexual.

[AFTT47]

No one doubted that there were people who have douche reasons. The thing that seems surprising to some is that there are people who aren't "transphobic" who still wouldn't fuck someone who is transgender.

Yeah, you would think that would be obvious.

Maybe some of the people here are under the impression that a transgender woman has a vagina like one who was born a woman. It's not remotely like that though. I've seen pictures and it's nasty. We don't have the medical technology to truly change someone's sex. It's an illusion that seems to serve the purpose of making someone feel better who previously felt like they were trapped in the wrong body.