Funeral or reveal party?

[Shell B]

Eh, I don't feel that way about baby showers. It's nice for parents to A. celebrate and B. get a little help with the big initial expenses.

Oh if the party is thrown by a non family member and the mother to be is in no way helping create it (minus giving a list of friends and saying her favorite color) and it's their first child I'm all for baby showers. I had one when I was pregnant. My sister was infuriated with me because I said she wasn't allowed to throw me one but I didn't say no to my best friend doing it. I expect to have more kids but I will not be having more showers.

I don't understand why family members can't? I like throwing them for my siblings.

[mlmooney89]

Oh if the party is thrown by a non family member and the mother to be is in no way helping create it (minus giving a list of friends and saying her favorite color) and it's their first child I'm all for baby showers. I had one when I was pregnant. My sister was infuriated with me because I said she wasn't allowed to throw me one but I didn't say no to my best friend doing it. I expect to have more kids but I will not be having more showers.

I don't understand why family members can't? I like throwing them for my siblings.

Short answer? Miss Manners says so. Long answer is in etiquette rules. I'm very big into following etiquette rules to the point where I say "But Miss Manners says..." so much my family will yell at me the moment they hear her name. Here is what she says about different parties.

---

Births: As you know, showers should never be given by relatives, although Miss Manners has heard of shocking cases where baby showers were actually given by the prospective parents or grandparents. What they can properly give are celebratory parties after a christening or bris.

Birthdays: School-age children are the nominal hosts of their own birthday parties, presumably to teach them how to be gracious in that role. The fad of parents giving parties for babies is generally indulged if the guests are family intimates or if the baby sleeps through and drinks are served. Major birthdays of adults can be celebrated at parties given by relatives, but should be limited to two for a lifetime (30th and 60th, for example, or 75th and 90th).

But then look what happened: Children who had been unrestrained by the etiquette of hospitality grew up to demand that others throw themselves annual birthday parties, mandating the conditions and expecting the guests to pay.

Weddings: Miss Manners has heard of the same thing happening in connection with weddings: showers and other auxiliary parties that do not originate with friends but are assigned to them by the bride or given by her relatives.

Any other party given by celebrants or their relatives, notably that announcing an engagement, is properly not named as such. As some of you have figured out on your own, the advantage of announcing the occasion when the guests are assembled is not only their gasp of surprise. It is their declaration, "Oh, I wish I'd known; I would have brought a present."

---

[Divinity]

Births: As you know, showers should never be given by relatives, although Miss Manners has heard of shocking cases where baby showers were actually given by the prospective parents or grandparents. What they can properly give are celebratory parties after a christening or bris.

Fuck that, Atheists don't do Christenings or Bris.

[vorlon13]

especially the BJ bris where the infant contracts herpes and dies . . . .

[Shell B]

I don't understand why family members can't? I like throwing them for my siblings.

Short answer? Miss Manners says so. Long answer is in etiquette rules. I'm very big into following etiquette rules to the point where I say "But Miss Manners says..." so much my family will yell at me the moment they hear her name. Here is what she says about different parties.

---

Births: As you know, showers should never be given by relatives, although Miss Manners has heard of shocking cases where baby showers were actually given by the prospective parents or grandparents. What they can properly give are celebratory parties after a christening or bris.

Birthdays: School-age children are the nominal hosts of their own birthday parties, presumably to teach them how to be gracious in that role. The fad of parents giving parties for babies is generally indulged if the guests are family intimates or if the baby sleeps through and drinks are served. Major birthdays of adults can be celebrated at parties given by relatives, but should be limited to two for a lifetime (30th and 60th, for example, or 75th and 90th).

But then look what happened: Children who had been unrestrained by the etiquette of hospitality grew up to demand that others throw themselves annual birthday parties, mandating the conditions and expecting the guests to pay.

Weddings: Miss Manners has heard of the same thing happening in connection with weddings: showers and other auxiliary parties that do not originate with friends but are assigned to them by the bride or given by her relatives.

Any other party given by celebrants or their relatives, notably that announcing an engagement, is properly not named as such. As some of you have figured out on your own, the advantage of announcing the occasion when the guests are assembled is not only their gasp of surprise. It is their declaration, "Oh, I wish I'd known; I would have brought a present."

---

For serious? Etiquette is a farce.

Also . . . Emily Post is the etiquette queen and the Emily Post Institute puts no such restrictions on baby showers. Who is this Miss Manners bitch and where does she get off telling people how to live?

[SaStrike]

Funeral, I support Trump but I'm not THAT evil. I'm a very emotional guy and can't imagine missing my own family member's funeral for a party. Imagine when those random mourning depressive episodes hit, and you know you didn't even pay your last respects, the guilt would be too much.

[The Industrial Atheist]

The gender reveal party. Just because I think new life is more important than the end of life. It's a good thing to talk about how we cared for someone that's gone that we loved, but they don't exist to know anything about it. I would like to go to both, but it's not much of a choice.

[Aegon]

I would go to the gender reveal party. I don’t go to funerals. If I were dead I would hope someone would choose to go celebrate a new life rather than waste time at my funeral. If I get to have a say there won’t be a funeral for me.

Mine's going to be a lit party, and there will be a photo booth with my dead body wearing sunglasses.

---

I don't understand why family members can't? I like throwing them for my siblings.

Short answer? Miss Manners says so. Long answer is in etiquette rules. I'm very big into following etiquette rules to the point where I say "But Miss Manners says..." so much my family will yell at me the moment they hear her name. Here is what she says about different parties.

---

Births: As you know, showers should never be given by relatives, although Miss Manners has heard of shocking cases where baby showers were actually given by the prospective parents or grandparents. What they can properly give are celebratory parties after a christening or bris.

Birthdays: School-age children are the nominal hosts of their own birthday parties, presumably to teach them how to be gracious in that role. The fad of parents giving parties for babies is generally indulged if the guests are family intimates or if the baby sleeps through and drinks are served. Major birthdays of adults can be celebrated at parties given by relatives, but should be limited to two for a lifetime (30th and 60th, for example, or 75th and 90th).

But then look what happened: Children who had been unrestrained by the etiquette of hospitality grew up to demand that others throw themselves annual birthday parties, mandating the conditions and expecting the guests to pay.

Weddings: Miss Manners has heard of the same thing happening in connection with weddings: showers and other auxiliary parties that do not originate with friends but are assigned to them by the bride or given by her relatives.

Any other party given by celebrants or their relatives, notably that announcing an engagement, is properly not named as such. As some of you have figured out on your own, the advantage of announcing the occasion when the guests are assembled is not only their gasp of surprise. It is their declaration, "Oh, I wish I'd known; I would have brought a present."

---

My natural instinct is to punch Miss Manners in the face.

[Shell B]

Yeah, Miss Manners sounds like a right cunt.

[RoadRunner79]

Your adopted son's funeral and your daughter's baby gender reveal party are on the same day, in different states. Which do you go to, if either, and why?

EDIT: Whoopsie daisy. No poll. Ahh, well. This is all about the convo.

Is it out of the question to combine the two?

Oh well, I suppose I'm old fashioned, I pick funeral.