100 Greatest Quotes from Fundamentalist Christian Chat Rooms

[thesummerqueen]

I have to thank my sexy friend Eric Hetvile for this. I got a stern stare from my boss because I laughed so hard I cried.

http://ibastudent.wordpress.com/2008/01/...hat-rooms/

[Minimalist]

My first WTF moment came on #2.

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

I don't know how I'll get through the rest of this shit.

[thesummerqueen]

Dude, there's so much 'shit' in there it defies description.

[Minimalist]

Do tell.

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example… sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

That's the kind of shit I'd expect from Wal_Stat or whatever his fucking name is.

[Rhizomorph13]

My first WTF moment came on #2.

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

I don't know how I'll get through the rest of this shit.

Ya know, like only a little bit, he isn't a full Jew, he is only Jew-ish.

[thesummerqueen]

Do tell.

Tell me you laughed already. I couldn't do anything but that....the stupidity immobilized me.

[Justtristo]

These ones I loved

The word of God has been in heaven forever. The KJV has always been there. The so called Hebrew words like Alleluia are English words. The English did not borrow them from the Hebrew but rather the Hebrew borrowed them from the English. If the KJV has always been there and is the original word of God then there is no other conclusion. The same can be said for any so called Greek words that were borrowed from the Greek or transliterated. It is a matter of what bias you approach this particular subject.

If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James — your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.

[chasm]

So hard to pick a favorite... This, however, comes close:

im christian
if we came from apes
how come were not hairy and have a big mouth
and did we end up looking like we do know
and besides
there isnt any serious proof of apes
they showd a video saying an ape was wondering around in the forest
that thing looked exactly like a costume that i had saw at a store
know one ever cought an ape

[Shell B]

This isn't from a Christian chat room. It's from a writer's forum, but it made me laugh.

This is a question posed by an atheist.

If god is all powerful, why didn't he just bring everything into existence all at once?

This idiot's answer.

Because…God has personality.

[Minimalist]

The sad fact is I think most of these people would be fucktards even if they weren't religious. Some of what is written there is a very special kind of stupid.