If you're an Atheist, what comforts you?

[The Grand Nudger]

Traffic on the galactic bypass is gridlocked, lets pull over and probe some humans to blow off steam.

Before I forget,

@Dragonfly
Ultimately, btw..if there is something that you really can't get anywhere else then I'd just have to say.."well, yeah, okay, atheists don't have that, then" in the same way that I concede that my life has no god-meaning. It doesn't bother me, though I appreciate that it would bother you more on account of your history. Some of these other folks that did grow up religious definitely know better than I do, about what you're talking about.

[Dragonfly]

[Chicken]

I am not sure if this has been posted yet, but I find comfort in not only his voice, but also most of his opinions on things, very rational man called Sam Harris. He has podcasts up on youtube and his own site just search for him. I don't think he is always correct but he typically has about hour long podcasts about current events, spirituality (or lack thereof) and so on. You may be able to find some debates he is in on youtube as well. There are all sorts of Atheist writings and videos out there, youtube will typically throw debates with theists at you, but I find it more comforting to just hear one perspective. I would suggest searching youtube for all the atheist spokespersons you find comforting and actually logically sound. It can be a challenge, and you may have to wade through the shit to find treasure, but I think it is worth it to find these people on your own. You may want to start with the mainstream ones: Intelligence Squared, The Atheist Experience, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, etc.

Edit: Also, I have been getting into an app on the iphone or computer called Meetup. There you can find all sorts of real life people meeting for various purposes, some of which are exactly to promote a secular, humanist group to attend lectures and things on Sundays, or other activities together as a community. You may be interested in that as well.

[Angrboda]

Go find a new tribe - or just stay in the one that you're already in, since they're providing all of the above?  It doesn't actually matter whether or not god is real for any of that..right?

Where do I find a new tribe?

Have you considered humanism, whether Judaic or secular? In my experience, humanists are a lot more interested in developing community and ritual than atheists who are not humanists. Unitarian universalism is another tribe, perhaps a bit more structured and organized than secular humanists.

[The Grand Nudger]

I'm in a kind of no man's land right now, trying to figure out how to replace certain aspects that helped me--can't go forward, and can't go back. I think emotional resiliency is partly determined by one's biology and mental health in general, but also developed similar to a muscle. I've spent my life leaning on this crutch, and I haven't had to stand on my own. If you've been an atheist since childhood, you've had to develop a certain amount of ability to self-soothe. It's made you a lot tougher because you HAD to be. How can I be strong enough and confident enough to stand on my own? Is there a way I can expedite the process?

 
One of the things that I think is the most disgusting part of religious indoctrination...is that you're told that there's alot more stuff that requires soothing, if that makes sense?  There are fears and anxieties specifically produced by these religions - they practically feed and live off of them.  In balance, I wouldn't trade places with you..because I'm not really sure that I'm the one that had to or has to get tough.  

You've heard me talk about my family, I hope it comes across when I do that there's alot of love in it, that we are deeply committed to and dependent on each other.  If I thought, for whatever reason, that I could see my wife again after she died - imagine something out of this world..a brand new procedure..they somehow transfer her entire consciousness to a computer....and then, I stopped believing that (maybe because the funding fell through or someone else was selected for the trial, lol)....I wouldn't be here at AF.org, calmly working out my issues with a supportive group of folks.  

I'd be a wreck, out in the woods somewhere, howling at the damned moon. I mean..yeah, I'd want to do better..I'd know I have a responsibility to myself (and to the rest of my family) to do better...but there would just have to be a few days where the uncle cooked the kids hotdogs for dinner and daddy was "at work".

Thanks, Khemikal. I know I sound like I'm going around in circles, and it feels like it sometimes, but this discussion is helping a great deal.

It's bound to happen...still just glad we can help.

---

Before I forget, atheism definitely isn't a unified support system.  Alot of us here have very little in common apart from the fact that we're not believers. It's not that sort of ground level let me carry those groceries and hey, btw, how are you today kind of communities, though we do have our moments.

You're looking for a good neighborhood, imo.

[Bucky Ball]

At the end of Candide, Pangloss says "Il faut cultiver notre jardin". 
That's what we have to do. 
There is no replacement for the childish nonsense of religious "comforts". 
That may be part of the grief process involved in coming to terms with the fact that religious claims are false, in a literal sense. 

[Mystic]

If I'm Atheist... 

O Wait... I'm not, why am I here again on these forums? 

[Dr H]

I'm someone in transition who's pretty close to being an atheist, so I would not suggest that atheists have nothing to live for or some of the other ignorant ideas people have about atheists. Just wanted to get that out of the way. 

That said, I am having a lot of depression and anxiety that, back when I was a believer, I'd be coping with by praying. Now prayer is out, so I wanted to ask a general question: 

What brings you comfort when life is hard? I'm especially interested in any book recommendations or videos that I can turn to repeatedly when times are tough. They don't have to be by atheists or about atheism. Any secular source will do. 

thanks

Single malt whisky, mostly.

But seriously...

I don't have too many lows, but when I do, I can usually work through them with music.

I generally pick up some fretted stringed thing I haven't played in a while and noodle around.  It distracts my mind until I get back on an even keel, and I've also occasionally gotten a new tune or three out of it.

[Dragonfly]

Given Khem's statement, I suspect it may be the case that you're seeking comfort for the distress inflicted by the beliefs of Christianity and your doubts about them.  So the question is what is the comfort you seek aimed at addressing?  The continued doubts and such associated with lingering belief, thoughts about your limited nature and mortality, or something else?

Ok, an example would be a crisis like a cancer diagnosis. I had a very aggressive form of cancer at 39. If I ever were to get a recurrence, I'd be scared out of my mind. I want/need something to hang onto when those very trying times in life happen. I want to be more grounded. So I'm looking for things in advance, knowing that I no longer have the crutch of religion. 

I'm in a kind of no man's land right now, trying to figure out how to replace certain aspects that helped me--can't go forward, and can't go back. I think emotional resiliency is partly determined by one's biology and mental health in general, but also developed similar to a muscle. I've spent my life leaning on this crutch, and I haven't had to stand on my own. If you've been an atheist since childhood, you've had to develop a certain amount of ability to self-soothe. It's made you a lot tougher because you HAD to be. How can I be strong enough and confident enough to stand on my own? Is there a way I can expedite the process?

 
One of the things that I think is the most disgusting part of religious indoctrination...is that you're told that there's alot more stuff that requires soothing, if that makes sense?  There are fears and anxieties specifically produced by these religions - they practically feed and live off of them.  In balance, I wouldn't trade places with you..because I'm not really sure that I'm the one that had to or has to get tough.  

You've heard me talk about my family, I hope it comes across when I do that there's alot of love in it, that we are deeply committed to and dependent on each other.  If I thought, for whatever reason, that I could see my wife again after she died - imagine something out of this world..a brand new procedure..they somehow transfer her entire consciousness to a computer....and then, I stopped believing that (maybe because the funding fell through or someone else was selected for the trial, lol)....I wouldn't be here at AF.org, calmly working out my issues with a supportive group of folks.  

I'd be a wreck, out in the woods somewhere, howling at the damned moon.  I mean..yeah, I'd want to do better..I'd know I have a responsibility to myself (and to the rest of my family) to do better...but there would just have to be a few days where the uncle cooked the kids hotdogs for dinner and daddy was "at work".

Thanks, Khemikal. I know I sound like I'm going around in circles, and it feels like it sometimes, but this discussion is helping a great deal.

It's bound to happen...still just glad we can help.

---

Before I forget, atheism definitely isn't a unified support system.  Alot of us here have very little in common apart from the fact that we're not believers.  It's not that sort of ground level let me carry those groceries and hey, btw, how are you today kind of communities, though we do have our moments.  

You're looking for a good neighborhood, imo.

Yes, a good neighborhood. People to grow old with. A support network. And when there is no support network available, I'd like to have books, movies, videos and anything else that would be helpful to turn to. And weed, lots of weed.

[adey67]

What comforts me is twofold, firstly that I'll be non existent upon death as I cannot imagine a worse hell than eternal life no matter how good it may be, secondly that I won't have to suffer the self righteous tambourine tapping uptight judgemental joyless wankers from religion across the globe