damned

[lookinforhope]

Hi,
I'm here out of desperation.  I'm hoping someone can help me.  I thought I was saved (a Christian) for 11 years.  In that time, everything I did was for God.  Then I pray this prayer, asking God to show me what was causing my long-term anxiety and depression.  Do you know what He shows me?!  He shows me that I was never really saved in the first place and that I never can be because I got married when He told me not to.  I did exactly what the Rich Young Ruler in the Bible did if you don't mind looking up the story.  I have had anxiety and depression ever since I have been together with my husband so I know this relationship was not God's will.  I remember God telling me that I would go to hell if I married him but I didn't believe Him because that sounds ridiculous.  Also, I thought you got saved by believing that Christ died for your sins, which I did do before I married my husband.  Upon further study of the scriptures there are TONS of conditions you have to meet in order to be saved.  There are SO MANY works, yet Christians say it's not by works.  Christians say that salvation is FREE but they are LIARS because salvation is NOT free.  Only those willing to pay the price get to go to heaven and that number is few.  I am so pissed.  I even went to my pastor and his wife before I got married for help because I was unsure of my salvation as well as the marriage I was about to enter into.  I need help.  When I first found out I was going to hell, I cried in my room for 2 years.  I've spent this 3rd year trying unsuccessfully to learn how to function again.  I have 4 beautiful children who need me.  I wish I could just become and atheist and be done with this but I can't.  I had actual encounters with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I can't deny Him.  I can't walk around disabled, unable to function, and hyperventilating all the day long.  I didn't know God was so cruel.  Please help me, I don't know what to do. I need to live a good & productive life.

[Fake Messiah]

[Peebothuhlu]

Be well.

Not at work.

[onlinebiker]

If you start at the most logical point - assuming that the xtian god is just a human invention, just like all other gods you might care to mention - you' ll find your problem quickly solves itself.

I hope this helps.

[vulcanlogician]

I need help.  When I first found out I was going to hell, I cried in my room for 2 years.  I've spent this 3rd year trying unsuccessfully to learn how to function again.  I have 4 beautiful children who need me.  I wish I could just become and atheist and be done with this but I can't.  I had actual encounters with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I can't deny Him.  I can't walk around disabled, unable to function, and hyperventilating all the day long.  I didn't know God was so cruel.  Please help me, I don't know what to do. I need to live a good & productive life.

Hi there, Hope. If you are having trouble with with anxiety/depression, you have a number of options available to you. Of course, many believers will tell you that these issues are rooted in spiritual problems between you and God. I don't know everything. Perhaps your issues really do stem from a problem with a creator deity. Some writers, such as Leo Tolstoy, Martin Buber, and Søren Kierkegaard speak of a state of existential anxiety that can only be assuaged through nearness to God. But even these fellows (and a great many other religious thinkers) would also recognize that there are practical barriers to living a good and productive life, many of which do not relate to one's relationship to God.

We [as human beings] need security and emotional peace. We need and want a life in which we will not be constantly threatened with physical or emotional harassment. Again this is not the only thing worth seeking, but it is an essential ingredient in any adequate picture of the good life. Human love and companionship are also central to a significant or happy life.
...
Furthermore, we all need some sort of creative employment or meaningful work to give our lives point, to save them from boredom, drudgery, and futility... We want and need art, music, and the dance. We find pleasure in travel and conversation and in a rich variety of experiences. The sources of human enjoyment are obviously too numerous to detail. But all of them are achievable in a Godless universe.

There are options. A professional therapist may help. (Though not everyone finds therapy to be beneficial.) You could try putting yourself in a new social atmosphere, preferably around people who have positive attitudes. Join a book club or a women's softball team. I'm sure you have a creative side. Start an art project or write essays/short stories. In short, change your mental/social atmosphere. But be careful in selecting a new atmosphere. Just because an atmosphere is new, doesn't make it improved. Hang around people who are supportive. "You will know them by their fruits"

I'd like to put it out there that I'm a bit concerned about you. You seem to be carrying around a ton of guilt. The thing is, it might be worthwhile for you to reflect on the source of that of that guilt. You think it has divine origins. "God is displeased with you." But I suspect it has human origins. i.e.- Someone has used the Bible to belittle you. Spiritual abuse is a thing. People enact emotional/psychological abuse on other people for all sorts of reasons-- and sometimes they justify such abuses with religious texts. This happens in all sorts of religious settings. You see it in distilled form in cults, but you will find it in more dilute form in any religious setting, even your run-of-the-mill Baptist church. All it takes is some abusive schmuck who's memorized a bit of the Bible, and BAM!-- justified abuse.

I'm not assuming this is the case with you. I'm just throwing that out there in case it is. Messed up stuff like that happens all the time. I remember reading about a young woman who was sexually abused by her father. She felt dirty and disgusted with herself (as rape victims often do) and had trouble getting into relationships with men. The thing that stuck me was her feeling that God had rejected her. To me, this feeling was obviously the result of the shame and humiliation that came along with her abuse, but her feelings of shame had somehow taken on a religious character. And who put the idea in her head that she was unworthy in the eyes of God? You guessed it--her father.

To finish up, I'd like to say that I doubt you'll find much help here if you are trying to "get right with God.". Atheists don't typically evangelize. We aren't waiting to welcome you into the flock once you "say the word" and profess to believe what we believe. If you have had direct experiences of God, and you are convinced, your experiences don't align with many here. I don't want you to share my beliefs. I would rather you believe what you know in your heart and mind to be true. In short, you should make up your own mind.

But (that being said) if you ever do find that you no longer believe, this is a great place to find support. Many newly-minted atheists find that their Christian friends only loved them conditionally. Once they no longer believed, they lost their so-called friends. Finding that you no longer believe can be a lonely experience... and we can help with that. Otherwise (if you continue to believe in God) you can stick around and bicker with us heathens. I LOVE arguing with theists. And it can be a mind-opening experience to expose yourself to differing points of view. So, please, stick around!

Regardless, nice to meet you, Hope, and I wish you luck on your journey toward finding the truth.

If a believer loses his God but can keep his nerve, think the matter over, and thoroughly take it to heart, life can still be meaningful and morality still have an objective rationale.

[downbeatplumb]

Hi,
I'm here out of desperation.  I'm hoping someone can help me.  I thought I was saved (a Christian) for 11 years.  In that time, everything I did was for God.  Then I pray this prayer, asking God to show me what was causing my long-term anxiety and depression.  Do you know what He shows me?!  He shows me that I was never really saved in the first place and that I never can be because I got married when He told me not to.  I did exactly what the Rich Young Ruler in the Bible did if you don't mind looking up the story.  I have had anxiety and depression ever since I have been together with my husband so I know this relationship was not God's will.  I remember God telling me that I would go to hell if I married him but I didn't believe Him because that sounds ridiculous.  Also, I thought you got saved by believing that Christ died for your sins, which I did do before I married my husband.  Upon further study of the scriptures there are TONS of conditions you have to meet in order to be saved.  There are SO MANY works, yet Christians say it's not by works.  Christians say that salvation is FREE but they are LIARS because salvation is NOT free.  Only those willing to pay the price get to go to heaven and that number is few.  I am so pissed.  I even went to my pastor and his wife before I got married for help because I was unsure of my salvation as well as the marriage I was about to enter into.  I need help.  When I first found out I was going to hell, I cried in my room for 2 years.  I've spent this 3rd year trying unsuccessfully to learn how to function again.  I have 4 beautiful children who need me.  I wish I could just become and atheist and be done with this but I can't.  I had actual encounters with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I can't deny Him.  I can't walk around disabled, unable to function, and hyperventilating all the day long.  I didn't know God was so cruel.  Please help me, I don't know what to do. I need to live a good & productive life.

Well there is no god to begin with. I can say that confidently because there is zero evidence to support there being one of any stripe.
Once you realise that you can see that all your problems are not a thing.
So go and live what would be a good and productive life and stop worrying about trying to appease a non-existent thing.

[Mr.Obvious]

God is not cruel.
God cares not about you.
God does not exist.

Live Well, by your own devices.

[brewer]

Hate to state the obvious but it sounds like you need to leave him. I'll let you choose which one. Maybe both.

[Alan V]

Hi,
I'm here out of desperation.  I'm hoping someone can help me.  I thought I was saved (a Christian) for 11 years.  In that time, everything I did was for God.  Then I pray this prayer, asking God to show me what was causing my long-term anxiety and depression.  Do you know what He shows me?!  He shows me that I was never really saved in the first place and that I never can be because I got married when He told me not to.  I did exactly what the Rich Young Ruler in the Bible did if you don't mind looking up the story.  I have had anxiety and depression ever since I have been together with my husband so I know this relationship was not God's will.  I remember God telling me that I would go to hell if I married him but I didn't believe Him because that sounds ridiculous.  Also, I thought you got saved by believing that Christ died for your sins, which I did do before I married my husband.  Upon further study of the scriptures there are TONS of conditions you have to meet in order to be saved.  There are SO MANY works, yet Christians say it's not by works.  Christians say that salvation is FREE but they are LIARS because salvation is NOT free.  Only those willing to pay the price get to go to heaven and that number is few.  I am so pissed.  I even went to my pastor and his wife before I got married for help because I was unsure of my salvation as well as the marriage I was about to enter into.  I need help.  When I first found out I was going to hell, I cried in my room for 2 years.  I've spent this 3rd year trying unsuccessfully to learn how to function again.  I have 4 beautiful children who need me.  I wish I could just become and atheist and be done with this but I can't.  I had actual encounters with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I can't deny Him.  I can't walk around disabled, unable to function, and hyperventilating all the day long.  I didn't know God was so cruel.  Please help me, I don't know what to do. I need to live a good & productive life.

It sounds to me like you have issues with depression, anxiety, and suggestibility which have nothing at all to do with religion.  And now you've tried your best to interpret your problems by your religious beliefs, and the results have made you even more anxious and confused.  You likely need a mental health professional rather than some random internet people advising you.

From my atheistic perspectives:
There is no God, so you couldn't have met him.  You likely just had emotional and delusional experiences, as many people do.
There is no hell, so there's no reason to worry about it.
Christianity makes no sense, which is likely why you can't figure out a reasonable interpretation.

[GUBU]

Hi,
I'm here out of desperation.  I'm hoping someone can help me.  I thought I was saved (a Christian) for 11 years.  In that time, everything I did was for God.  Then I pray this prayer, asking God to show me what was causing my long-term anxiety and depression.  Do you know what He shows me?!  He shows me that I was never really saved in the first place and that I never can be because I got married when He told me not to.  I did exactly what the Rich Young Ruler in the Bible did if you don't mind looking up the story.  I have had anxiety and depression ever since I have been together with my husband so I know this relationship was not God's will.  I remember God telling me that I would go to hell if I married him but I didn't believe Him because that sounds ridiculous.  Also, I thought you got saved by believing that Christ died for your sins, which I did do before I married my husband.  Upon further study of the scriptures there are TONS of conditions you have to meet in order to be saved.  There are SO MANY works, yet Christians say it's not by works.  Christians say that salvation is FREE but they are LIARS because salvation is NOT free.  Only those willing to pay the price get to go to heaven and that number is few.  I am so pissed.  I even went to my pastor and his wife before I got married for help because I was unsure of my salvation as well as the marriage I was about to enter into.  I need help.  When I first found out I was going to hell, I cried in my room for 2 years.  I've spent this 3rd year trying unsuccessfully to learn how to function again.  I have 4 beautiful children who need me.  I wish I could just become and atheist and be done with this but I can't.  I had actual encounters with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I can't deny Him.  I can't walk around disabled, unable to function, and hyperventilating all the day long.  I didn't know God was so cruel.  Please help me, I don't know what to do. I need to live a good & productive life.

Go troll somewhere else.