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Current time: April 23, 2024, 6:29 am

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Dating / Married To Theist
#21
RE: Dating / Married To Theist
I'm married to a Roman Catholic and we are 100% fine. The key is if you two are on the same page. My husband and I mock the overly religious nut jobs that go to extreme but I would never mock someone having a religion in general. He knows I post things that are in general anti religion but not towards anyone that is religious.

Also it's already been said but a discussion about children is a MUST. I could NEVER let my daughter grow up being raised in the faith so my husband had to be ok with that. Luckily he is on the same page of wanting her to make her own decisions so I won't tell her there isn't a god and he won't say there is. When she is old enough to question us we will say people believe different things and she needs to make her own mind up. Give her the points for all aspects then leave her to ask questions.

He goes to church alone and I go to atheist gatherings alone. Everything else we do together. Christmas is about family not religion. Our wedding had no religious aspects to it but if he had wanted it to I would have let them minus me praying. I hold hands at the dinner table at his family's house to complete their circle and stay quiet but I do not bow my head, close my eyes, nor say anything. I would decline being asked to lead the prayer but his family knows my views and respects them. My husband would put them in their place if they didn't though. I'd expect your girl to do the same if her family was asking you to do something you aren't comfortable with.
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.”

Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
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#22
RE: Dating / Married To Theist
(April 8, 2019 at 11:44 am)mlmooney89 Wrote: I'm married to a Roman Catholic and we are 100% fine. The key is if you two are on the same page. My husband and I mock the overly religious nut jobs that go to extreme but I would never mock someone having a religion in general. He knows I post things that are in general anti religion but not towards anyone that is religious.

Also it's already been said but a discussion about children is a MUST. I could NEVER let my daughter grow up being raised in the faith so my husband had to be ok with that. Luckily he is on the same page of wanting her to make her own decisions so I won't tell her there isn't a god and he won't say there is. When she is old enough to question us we will say people believe different things and she needs to make her own mind up. Give her the points for all aspects then leave her to ask questions.

He goes to church alone and I go to atheist gatherings alone. Everything else we do together. Christmas is about family not religion. Our wedding had no religious aspects to it but if he had wanted it to I would have let them minus me praying. I hold hands at the dinner table at his family's house to complete their circle and stay quiet but I do not bow my head, close my eyes, nor say anything. I would decline being asked to lead the prayer but his family knows my views and respects them. My husband would put them in their place if they didn't though. I'd expect your girl to do the same if her family was asking you to do something you aren't comfortable with.

This is exactly the kind of thing I imagine would closely match our lives together.  I'm perfectly fine with all of the things that you have mentioned.  As I've said earlier, I don't find enjoyment in arguing or trying to debunk religious nonsense.  It makes her happy and I love her the way she is.  She knows where I stand and despite that loves me all the same.

I understand fully on the kid thing and will make sure that all of that is in place.  Other than that, I feel like a "soft-theist" can be together with a "soft-atheist" lol (pardon the terms).
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#23
RE: Dating / Married To Theist
(April 8, 2019 at 11:55 am)wolf39us Wrote: I understand fully on the kid thing and will make sure that all of that is in place.  Other than that, I feel like a "soft-theist" can be together with a "soft-atheist" lol (pardon the terms).

Exactly, I think it would be much harder to be married to someone that is more die hard for or against religion. I once asked my husband if he cared that I won't go to heaven with him and he said "No, the pope said that you just have to be a good person to get into heaven. You are a good person so I know you will be there with me." I still don't agree that I will be in heaven since I don't think there is one but it makes him happy to think of us up there together forever so that is fine with me. If he pestered me to go to church or tried to sway me we would have broken up very quickly.

I will say one small note. I think I am rubbing off on him. He doesn't go to mass anymore, I haven't seen him pray over his food in a long time, and his St Anthony necklace has been sitting on a shelf. He still says he is Catholic but I think he might be turning at least agnostic or maybe just believe in some kind of higher power not necessarily Christian. I won't lie, I'm hoping this is what is happening. I would love for him to denounce religion but that is such a selfish thought I would never in a million years say it to him and I would/do love him no matter what he thinks or believes. I do joke and say "oh I will make an atheist of you yet." But that is in good fun and we both laugh.
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.”

Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
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#24
RE: Dating / Married To Theist
It's not the sort of intrinsic problem people might think.  I'm an anti-theist, my wifes an evangelical.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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