Fuck The Ocean (warning distrubin shit )

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

The stuff of which nightmares are made:



Boru

You are such a wimp knowing I have posted ABBA videos here.

ABBA aren't scary, just bad music.

Boru

[Cod]

If you want to see disturbing shit in the ocean, just go and paddle in the filthy sea at Blackpool. Frothy brown sea. Turd coloured sea.

[Anomalocaris]

Actually, the blob fish doesn’t look nearly so, uh, anthropomorphic?  In life.   It’s extreme deep water fish that has a lot of gelatinous tissue around its head that it uses for buoyancy.   But it looks pretty much like many ordinary fish.



The almost donald trump like visage occurs only when the deep water fish dies of decompression damage when taken to the surface, and the gelatinous tissue turns gooey.

[Rev. Rye]

Of course, there's also this:



I know this might not seem like much, since the Irukandji is about the size of your pinky fingernail and if you keep it in a tank, it'll run into the glass and die. It also has the most painful venom of all jellyfish. While it doesn't kill you, if you get stung by one, you're going to wish you were, and odds are, if you don't, it's only because there's a distinct possibility that if you do, you'll still be screaming in agony; people in medically-induced comas still scream in pain when Irukandji venom is coursing through your body. You get enough morphine to not kill you, and you still feel like "only their spine is crushing and their skin is being burned off with a bunsen burner." Mothers who have had to deal with the sting of the irukandji universally agree that giving birth (yes, including natural childbirth without painkillers) is a picnic compared to dealing with the irukandji. Come to think of it, I have yet to find anyone who has ever been stung by one who didn't say it wasn't the most painful thing they've ever had to deal with. Also, remember the shit from Finding Nemo about how the tops will not sting you? That does not apply to the Irukandji.

And now, thanks to global warming, it's gone from being just another animalistic abomination from Australia to living in ALL TROPICAL OCEANS.

[Amarok]

Personally, I think the blob fish is adorable

The blob fish is hideous. You are looking at it like it's some "aquatic Ziggy" or something, when the fact is, it is deep, deep, deep in the uncanny valley for a hideous human face.

***

If I may contribute to the aquatic nightmare discussion, I bumped into one of these while swimming as a young lad. Luckily, it didn't sting me. I had no idea what the fuck it was, but I was super horrified by it. And I swam away quickly.

On a scientific note, this organism is called the Portuguese Man o' War and it is actually two organisms that live in such symbiosis that it appears like it is one organism. Fascinating stuff really.

Creepy

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Gulper Eel 

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Of course, there's also this:



I know this might not seem like much, since the Irukandji is about the size of your pinky fingernail and if you keep it in a tank, it'll run into the glass and die. It also has the most painful venom of all jellyfish. While it doesn't kill you, if you get stung by one, you're going to wish you were, and odds are, if you don't, it's only because there's a distinct possibility that if you do, you'll still be screaming in agony; people in medically-induced comas still scream in pain when Irukandji venom is coursing through your body. You get enough morphine to not kill you, and you still feel like "only their spine is crushing and their skin is being burned off with a bunsen burner." Mothers who have had to deal with the sting of the irukandji universally agree that giving birth (yes, including natural childbirth without painkillers) is a picnic compared to dealing with the irukandji. Come to think of it, I have yet to find anyone who has ever been stung by one who didn't say it wasn't the most painful thing they've ever had to deal with. Also, remember the shit from Finding Nemo about how the tops will not sting you? That does not apply to the Irukandji.  

And now, thanks to global warming, it's gone from being just another animalistic abomination from Australia to living in ALL TROPICAL OCEANS.

Scary

---

Actually, the blob fish doesn’t look nearly so, uh, anthropomorphic?  In life.   It’s extreme deep water fish that has a lot of gelatinous tissue around its head that it uses for buoyancy.   But it looks pretty much like many ordinary fish.



The almost donald trump like visage occurs only when the deep water fish dies of decompression damage when taken to the surface, and the gelatinous tissue turns gooey.

Donald Trump indeed 

[LastPoet]

If I may contribute to the aquatic nightmare discussion, I bumped into one of these while swimming as a young lad. Luckily, it didn't sting me. I had no idea what the fuck it was, but I was super horrified by it. And I swam away quickly.

On a scientific note, this organism is called the Portuguese Man o' War and it is actually two organisms that live in such symbiosis that it appears like it is one organism. Fascinating stuff really.

You were lucky it didn't sting you, but its a very interesting symbiose of cnidaria phylum organisms. one floats them around, another has the venomous tentacles and others are responsible for reproduction and digestion.

[Losty]

How dare you compare the cute squishy blob fish to Trump, I am offended!

[Anomalocaris]

How dare you compare the cute squishy blob fish to Trump, I am offended!

Blob fish is only cute and squishy when dead. Basically the gelatinous tissue in their head exploded when they are taken from deep sea to the surface. 

I think trump would be cute and squishy when dead too, when the gelatinous tissue in his skull explodes as he is taken into outer space.

[Amarok]

How dare you compare the cute squishy blob fish to Trump, I am offended!

Hey i didn't make it look like him