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Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:37 pm
Just now, while paying my cell phone bill, the the call center guy asked me if there was anything else I could help him with.
Normally I get a chuckle when I respond, "Can you get me a date with Angelina Jolie?"
I got krickets from this guy. All the other times I got a laugh or sarcastic response.
Have you ever told a joke that works most of the time only to have it fall flat other times?
Add your joke here, and describe the few times someone looked at you with a third eye.
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm
"I'll have five Powerball tickets, and push the winner button this time, please."
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 12:44 pm
I often ask for the winning lotto numbers.
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm
At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:14 pm
"Do you take cash with picture ID?"
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm
When patients call me a whore, I calmly tell them...
"Now, that's just untrue. I quit prostitution weeks ago."
They never laugh, but it usually stops their ranting dead in it's tracks.
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 2:44 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
BTW, I taught Chemistry and Physics at a suburban public high school in So. CA for twenty years. Great, high achieving students, excellent teaching staff, wonderful administration and terrific and responsive school district. I am retired now, and have little fear for the future that they will control.
So there!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 3:28 pm
A friend and I were in the dairy recently picking up a few things when a cop walked in. I immediately pointed at my mate and said, 'He's the one you want!'
The copper didn't smile, but I didn't get arrested either. So, all good.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 4:04 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 2:44 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (October 19, 2019 at 1:30 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: At checkout -
Cashier: Would you like exact change?
Me: I sure would. It would be nice for a change to see that the public school sysyems ARE capable of success in education.
....
That usually freezes them in their tracks for a while....
BTW, I taught Chemistry and Physics at a suburban public high school in So. CA for twenty years. Great, high achieving students, excellent teaching staff, wonderful administration and terrific and responsive school district. I am retired now, and have little fear for the future that they will control.
So there!
GIGO.
We have some real inbred mouth breathers around here these days...
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RE: Have you ever? And I am sure everyone has.
October 19, 2019 at 4:18 pm
(October 19, 2019 at 3:28 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A friend and I were in the dairy recently picking up a few things when a cop walked in. I immediately pointed at my mate and said, 'He's the one you want!'
The copper didn't smile, but I didn't get arrested either. So, all good.
Boru
It is funny you should mention that.
A few months ago, my regular cab driver dropped me off at the grocery store. I went in shopped for some time, came out and she told me I had to wait because she had locked the keys in the car. But the cab companies had a deal with the cops in the county if that happened to call them and they would break into the cars for free.
So I come out, she tells me she got locked out. Both of us have to wait, which was not a problem. So the cops show up. and break out the slim jim, go about getting in the car, and I make the comment, " Don't feel bad, I've done that before." And she, being a smart ass, says, "You've broken into a car before?"
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