Age of Deconversion

[EgoDeath]

Not where I'm from, lol..but sure, florida is generally strange. Beaches attract all the nutters.

More to the core of the statement, though, I don't think that it's actually strange for parents to love their children more than they love their own beliefs.

It is strange compared to the rest of the country though. Most people do deal with a certain amount of pressure when it comes to religion and religious beliefs. And I think you might be surprised at how married some parents are to their ideas.

[The Grand Nudger]

It doesn't surprise me that people are married to their ideas, and it doesn't surprise me that some subset are more married to their ideas than to their love for their children. I'd even go so far as to say that specific ideas are more competent at producing that outcome than others. It would surprise me, though, to find that this subset is a significant portion of the entire parenting pie. It would sure as hell surprise the preachers and shamans and witchdoctors, too, who rail against our love for our children eroding the fullest expression of our faiths, particularly when that faith isn't shared by our children.

As far as pressure, well..the simple act of a persons parents believing something exerts a pressure whether they intentionally do so or not, so there's that...and I certainly afforded the various things my own parents believed more credibility on account of them believing it. I never would have become so obsessed with mythology and religion if these weren't things in my parents lives. I just had a broader set of mythologies and religions to choose from than a single faith househould might. Even here, my situation isn't unique. One in five adults were raised in interfaith households. Another one in ten raised in households in which one parent had some faith and the other did not. This number has been steadily increasing, exploding lately.....and I think that people forget that I'm a millennial, sometimes, lol. Just barely made the cut.

My little brother is a homelander, and the things he thinks about religion reflect the changes in our family, and our families beliefs, in the gap between us, even. Hell, the dippiest new ager I knew sits down and says grace to jesus, anymore.

[downbeatplumb]

I've noticed that 12-14 seem to be a common age for people to leave Christianity. To those who were raised in the church, at what age did you stop believing in God?

My mum and gran were a bit religious but I thought it was nonsense the whole time.

[arewethereyet]

I was raised in the church (Roman Catholic) and went to Catholic schools beginning in 6th grade and in Catechism classes prior to that.

Neither of my parents were very religious so it wasn't much of a topic of discussion around the house. Mom is not Catholic but dad was (years before he died he left that behind and was atheist). To appease my Catholic grandparents I was raised Catholic and put through the paces of first communion and confirmation - it was a big deal to them though it was also something I don't remember talking with them about.

The Bible stories to me were much like the Aesop's Fables mom read to me. Fantastical stories with some sort of lesson or moral. By the end of my teens I had pretty much given up on the whole Catholic thing and did some searching for another faith practice because I thought you have to believe some version of the Christian God story. In my early 20s I realized that I didn't believe, I was told - this is what 'we' believe', and I didn't believe a damn bit of it and never had. I was going through the motions because that's what we did.

So I didn't ever believe even though as a little kid I prayed with all my might hoping God would stop the abuse at home. For I time I thought since it didn't stop I deserved it...then I thought maybe God just hates me as much as mom and dad do...then I realized that my prayers just went into the ether. I really tried to believe. It just didn't happen.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I was raised in the church (Roman Catholic) and went to Catholic schools beginning in 6th grade and in Catechism classes prior to that.

Neither of my parents were very religious so it wasn't much of a topic of discussion around the house.  Mom is not Catholic but dad was (years before he died he left that behind and was atheist).  To appease my Catholic grandparents I was raised Catholic and put through the paces of first communion and confirmation - it was a big deal to them though it was also something I don't remember talking with them about.

The Bible stories to me were much like the Aesop's Fables mom read to me.  Fantastical stories with some sort of lesson or moral.  By the end of my teens I had pretty much given up on the whole Catholic thing and did some searching for another faith practice because I thought you have to believe some version of the Christian God story.  In my early 20s I realized that I didn't believe, I was told - this is what 'we' believe', and I didn't believe a damn bit of it and never had.  I was going through the motions because that's what we did.

So I didn't ever believe even though as a little kid I prayed with all my might hoping God would stop the abuse at home.  For I time I thought since it didn't stop I deserved it...then I thought maybe God just hates me as much as mom and dad do...then I realized that my prayers just went into the ether.  I really tried to believe.  It just didn't happen.

Confirmation was a big deal in Ireland.  Made out like a fecking bandit, I did.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

Confirmation was a big deal in Ireland.  Made out like a fecking bandit, I did.

Boru

We moved to my dad's hometown just before I started 6th grade (11 years old).  That is where I entered Catholic school.  My classmates had been confirmed a couple of years before so I had to 'prepare' for confirmation with younger classes.  This was the start of being looked upon with suspicion by teachers and students.  I assume my spotty Catechism attendance the couple of years before is why I was behind schedule.

It still weirds me out that we were dressed like little brides for the mass and the sacrament.  Yeah, that's not creepy at all.  I don't remember a whole lot else other than grandma was my sponsor and we had a big family dinner - there was no windfall for me.

Odd note...when I had my first communion I had to be given a Biblical name as neither my first or middle name are.  Then confirmation rolled around and I had to have a name for that too which I think is common.  So I ended up (as far as the Church is concerned) with this long drawn out series of names that actually includes the first and middle name of an aunt who was the biggest heathen I have ever known.  All my initials added up to ALEAF.

[The Grand Nudger]

It was such a big deal to my dad, for reasons masculine and religious, that he had my legal name changed when he adopted me.

Now half my family calls me one thing, and the other half calls me the other...which sets me up for a whole shitload of satan jokes come the holidays.

[chimp3]

13. 1972. I would not call it a deconversion though. I just decided I was not buying that bullshit and never really had.

[mordant]

My deconversion was a gradual and fairly linear process from the age of about 29 to 42. I am now 62.

In retrospect, there was nothing that was going on that particularly rushed it or gave it urgency; to the contrary, there were a lot of things in my life that distracted from it, such as the madness of my first wife, a period of single parenthood, a lengthy period of acting as sole caregiver to my second wife due to her physical illness, etc. I think these various clusterfucks caused me to mis-identify them as the primary / seminal source of my distress, when in fact, my life choices (particularly not changing things that weren't working for me or mine) and the limited way I framed my perceptions and responses thereto, had far more to do with the failed epistemology under which I was attempting to function (namely, religious faith).

[Chad32]

I lasted a bit longer than 12-14. I had been on the fence for a while, and learning things on the internet solidified my disbelief. Partly because I found out not everyone in the world is actually christian. I spent so long thinking that everyone was some flavor of christian. So yeah, I was in my late teens, or early twenties.