I'm back!
March 23, 2020 at 1:45 am
(This post was last modified: March 23, 2020 at 1:57 am by Autumnlicious.)
Hey'yall!
Long time, no see! It's me, Synackaon. Just different now. I am finally myself. Things have changed for me... a lot!! ?
I joined this forum many years ago, attracted because there was a poster who reminded me of someone familiar. Who had the courage to embrace who and what she is, without reservation or fear. Though she is no longer here and my path has long diverged from hers, I miss her. I miss you Sae, because you had the courage to step into the light and after 24 years on this planet, knowing since I was five years old that something was "different" about me, I have found that courage as well. I am no longer ashamed. My name is not the harbinger of foreboding dread, but she-who-bridges-from-summer-to-winter. My name is Autumn, and I am finally free.
I never knew that food could taste good. That you could be happy without marijuana. That certain people make my heart beats quicker when I see them. Or that I would ever be increasingly happy with my appearance. Since I started HRT six months ago, I feel like I've been reborn. No longer sardonic and miserable, I am happy and see a future for myself, a future I thought I would never, ever get on account of the curse of my birth. A curse that can't be completely revoked but mostly broken in the ways that matter most to me. After years of hating mirrors and loathing myself, I feel hopeful and beautiful. I am now at healthy weight. I take care of myself. I have a community now and I've met people like me. I am learning to make new friends. I am learning to be myself after a life time of repression. I am learning to love myself, fully and honestly.
I didn't know life could really be worth living, because I was in such pain. Now, like a flower blooming, I am alive and I love it. My life has meaning now and nothing can stop me from living the truth of who and what I am.
To be perfectly honest, I was never a man. Just a scared girl, afraid she'd be killed for coming out of the closet and doing her best to blend in. I've never understood men, only how to mimic them well enough to make them leave me alone for most of my life. Now I don't need to. I can finally be me.
Long time, no see! It's me, Synackaon. Just different now. I am finally myself. Things have changed for me... a lot!! ?
I joined this forum many years ago, attracted because there was a poster who reminded me of someone familiar. Who had the courage to embrace who and what she is, without reservation or fear. Though she is no longer here and my path has long diverged from hers, I miss her. I miss you Sae, because you had the courage to step into the light and after 24 years on this planet, knowing since I was five years old that something was "different" about me, I have found that courage as well. I am no longer ashamed. My name is not the harbinger of foreboding dread, but she-who-bridges-from-summer-to-winter. My name is Autumn, and I am finally free.
I never knew that food could taste good. That you could be happy without marijuana. That certain people make my heart beats quicker when I see them. Or that I would ever be increasingly happy with my appearance. Since I started HRT six months ago, I feel like I've been reborn. No longer sardonic and miserable, I am happy and see a future for myself, a future I thought I would never, ever get on account of the curse of my birth. A curse that can't be completely revoked but mostly broken in the ways that matter most to me. After years of hating mirrors and loathing myself, I feel hopeful and beautiful. I am now at healthy weight. I take care of myself. I have a community now and I've met people like me. I am learning to make new friends. I am learning to be myself after a life time of repression. I am learning to love myself, fully and honestly.
I didn't know life could really be worth living, because I was in such pain. Now, like a flower blooming, I am alive and I love it. My life has meaning now and nothing can stop me from living the truth of who and what I am.
To be perfectly honest, I was never a man. Just a scared girl, afraid she'd be killed for coming out of the closet and doing her best to blend in. I've never understood men, only how to mimic them well enough to make them leave me alone for most of my life. Now I don't need to. I can finally be me.
Slave to the Patriarchy no more
