Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: April 27, 2024, 9:25 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Single motherhood least tolerated by Americans.
#11
RE: Single motherhood least tolerated by Americans.
It seems to me that when people complain about the lack of a male role model in a child's upbringing they are specifically alluding to their gender and/or sexual socialization. The concern about single mother households is not about the child growing up learning the wrong way of tying their shoe laces, or that they will be math challenged. There are several threads involved, but one is obviously the queer factor; the idea that a man without a male role model will more likely grow up gay. If that question is at root, I think the concern largely reflects irrational homophobia. Beyond that are the questions of a) what is an appropriate gender/sexual model for a male or female child to internalize (is there one?), b) do children really derive the bulk of their gender/sexual socialization from an immediate relationship with a gender/sexual specific figure. In the latter case, gender and sexual phenotypes seem to form from a combination of many factors -- a) genetics, b) socioeconomic factors, c) culture, d) peers, e) media, f) rejected culture (an American Protestant might reject Muslim sexual mores as much for their origin as their content), and finally, though I'm sure we could list more, g) figures who have a dependency relationship with the child (meaning the child's bond with and continued relationship with, is not freely chosen). It is in this last sense where we can see that other male figures besides a father (e.g. an uncle) can serve the same role, but that the role is unique, usually reflecting an inherent power imbalance between the male figure and the child (note this occurs in other proximal cases in which a power imbalance exists: teachers, priests and other "power peers" can serve as role models in a way that equal peers do not). One other point to note, which has been alluded to is when an appropriate socialization model's effect on the child may be contrary to the intended: a) where the figure is distant or absent (the case at issue), b) where the figure is a bad role model (e.g. an abuser), and c) where the child rebels against a role model (though there is considerable question as to whether rebellion actually precludes copying socialization; in one sense, even rebellious sons grow up to be just like their fathers).

Anyway, I've babbled on far too long for someone who didn't want to get involved and hasn't actually read the research the thread responds to. However, it appears that the question of damaging sons by single moms embodies some very questionable assumptions. It ignores cross sex gender socializations (why all the focus on boys and single mother households -- certainly a girl is missing something in their socialization without having a male figure in the mix [both gender and non-gender related]). But the most troubling is that it appears to endorse a view that non-conformity is dangerous to society -- androgynous or gay boys are bad -- and that any man -- any -- is better than none. The reality is that the more prominent concerns of single parent households have nothing to do with such gender concerns and have more to do with the fact that single parent households occur more frequently in socioeconomically disadvantaged families, and that even from there, the single parent household has to make do with less resources, and that more than anything else likely does work against the interest of the child (but it's obvious those concerned about single parent children are unconcerned about this, as they whack away at the funding aimed to help the single parent household).

ETA: Reading over my own post it occurs to me there is another concern:

Not to get too deep into it, but parents want children to reflect their own values. This is prominently displayed in the home schooling movement, the attempt to shield children from queers and other deviants and so on. I'm sure there are strong biological reasons for this, but regardless, parents feel some sense of ownership, rights, to determine (at least in a general way) the contents of a child's psyche; perhaps I'm overplaying the hand, but parents don't want "other people raising their children"; and I think it's more primitive, other than, concern for the child. I don't know where this leads, but I think there is an element of single-household-horror that reflects the idea that in a single parent household, the child is "abandoned to the evils of the world" in a way in which they are (presumably) protected in a male-female headed household.

[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Reply
#12
RE: Single motherhood least tolerated by Americans.
What is the goal of raising the male child? This knowledge is required when discussing what said male child 'needs'. For what reason would a male child need a male role model as a parent?

Humorously, i am a male child as well... how would I have been impacted if i didn't have my father? [i[(well, i can tell you that... but it certainly isn't because of his being male!)[/i].

And what of single fathers? Do they somehow negatively affect female children, and ifso how?

A second parent (while not necessary for a properly developed individual) is quite helpful for children to have (being close to two different personalities instead of a single personality). Doesn't matter if they are both male or female or if one is make and the other female (or really... as you are actually talking about: men or women). From my mother I've learned patience and social etiquette, from my father I've learned to compete well and to have integrity. Doesn't matter if they were both men or women, the result of their personalities is the same (infact i'd rather they both be of the same gender, ehehe).

Really... much more important than any number and gender of parents is that the personalities of said parents be constructive to the positive development of a new person.
Please give me a home where cloud buffalo roam
Where the dear and the strangers can play
Where sometimes is heard a discouraging word
But the skies are not stormy all day
Reply
#13
RE: Single motherhood least tolerated by Americans.
A humorous thought occurs to me. If one male figure is good, surely two is better! The more the merrier. If one follows this logic, one seems compelled to argue that boys are better raised in male-male households, and girls in lesbian households. Something is not right at the cracker factory!

I guess this is a strong argument in favor of legally sanctioning the kibbutz. [eta.]
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Reply
#14
RE: Single motherhood least tolerated by Americans.
My father died when I was 5 years old, leaving my mother to raise 7 children on her own. She did just that, and I challenge anyone to show that she didn't raise 7 great, happy, and successful kids. On top of that, while raising 7 children, she was the manager of the accounting office for a major regionsl hospital, a position she held for 25 years.
'The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and seal. It could not be expressed better.'
-- Samuel "Mark Twain" Clemens

"I think that in the discussion of natural problems we ought to begin not with the scriptures, but with experiments, demonstrations, and observations".

- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)

"In short, Meyer has shown that his first disastrous book was not a fluke: he is capable of going into any field in which he has no training or research experience and botching it just as badly as he did molecular biology. As I've written before, if you are a complete amateur and don't understand a subject, don't demonstrate the Dunning-Kruger effect by writing a book about it and proving your ignorance to everyone else! "

- Dr. Donald Prothero
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Lucky-Assed Americans: What Will You Do with Your $1200? Rhondazvous 22 2754 May 2, 2020 at 6:03 pm
Last Post: onlinebiker
  Why do I keep having this same dream or at least a variation of it GODZILLA 13 1679 February 18, 2019 at 2:29 am
Last Post: Godscreated
  How Americans view the British Cod 81 6303 December 26, 2018 at 10:40 am
Last Post: Fireball
  I haven't opened a single 'proof' thread. :( CapnAwesome 11 868 September 6, 2018 at 7:55 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  What sucks about being single. Brian37 7 1647 March 9, 2018 at 10:10 am
Last Post: No_God
  What would you do if you could remember every single moment in your life? c172 11 2466 October 13, 2017 at 5:46 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  What's your most favorite thing about being Single/Married? ErGingerbreadMandude 91 11450 January 31, 2017 at 3:29 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Question to all Americans: why do you refer to vehicles and ships as "she"? rado84 38 5739 July 15, 2015 at 12:15 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Single after 1 year and 4 months :S Edwardo Piet 18 3246 July 9, 2015 at 9:28 am
Last Post: SteelCurtain
Question Dear Americans: What's the leading cause of death among the young? Aractus 71 10703 November 20, 2014 at 9:24 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)