RE: Daily conspiracy
December 26, 2022 at 10:39 am
(This post was last modified: December 26, 2022 at 10:44 am by Fake Messiah.)
2022 in review.
Some of my favorite conspiracies this year include:
January
Uri Geller announced that he had psychically divined the location of the Ark of the Covenant while dowsing in the museum and that he would recover the Ark. He did not yet recover the Ark.
Ancient Aliens launched the eighteenth season.
Astrophysicist Avi Loeb of Harvard’s Galileo Project continued his push into the paranormal territory by hiring Jacques Vallée, who claimed last year that the U.S. military recovered an avocado-shaped UFO in 1945 piloted by miniature space aliens.
UFO journalist, Leslie Kean, announced her belief that UFOs were deeply connected to consciousness and the afterlife. CNN gave her a five-episode UFO documentary order, but thanks to turmoil at the network, it never aired.
February
Discovery+ and the Travel Channel ran a two-hour hoax documentary claiming missing persons and victims of violent crime have been seized by a hive of newly awakened vampires who descend from a blood-drinking hominid species that evolved 68,000 years ago before settling in Transylvania.
Jacques Vallée received a glossy profile in Wired hailing him as a hero.
Immunologist Garry Nolan claimed that interdimensional space poltergeists are infecting the brains of very intelligent people with space inflammation, and tried to get government funding to study mind parasites and their psychic space powers.
Lue Elizondo cited The Sun tabloid, falsely claiming that a transcript of a 1960s public speech was using a fictitious alien message as a hypothetical code-breaking exercise was a formerly classified NSA report on communicating with space aliens.
March
British archaeologist Timothy Darvill bizarrely claimed that Stonehenge was an ancient calendar of Egyptian origin.
A retired architect claimed that piles of granite ships’ ballast in the Gulf of Mexico off the Louisiana coast are the remains of a 12,000-year-old sunken pyramid city “related” to the Great Pyramids of Giza.
Fox Nation commentator Lara Logan told a right-wing podcast that the Rothschild banking family paid Charles Darwin to develop the theory of evolution as part of an international conspiracy of world domination.
April
The mayor of the town where the ancient site of Göbekli Tepe is located claimed that the temple complex’s stylized carvings of human figures are so unusual that they may depict space aliens.
Ufologist Nick Pope of Ancient Aliens said that after Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, space aliens probably called off their invasion of Earth because they are now afraid of Will Smith, conflating him with his Men in Black character.
Avi Loeb published a piece claiming that a meteor that crashed into the Earth in 2014 could be a piece of alien technology and arguing that it should be recovered from the bottom of the ocean for study.
Nick Pope told a tabloid newspaper that seagulls might be working for space aliens as spies.
May
The United States Congress held the first hearing on UFOs since the 1960s, and Pentagon witnesses effectively made the case that the flap over UFOs is a tempest in a teapot driven by sensationalism. The great UFO flap faded after most UFOs turned out to be drones, balloons, distant lights, and aerial debris, and officials found no evidence of aliens, crashed flying saucers, or other conspiracy claims Congress raised.
June
Lue Elizondo said that he hopes to serve in Congress in the next five years and promptly made his GOP leanings clear with weird comments about Nazis and racial slurs.
July
The Georgia Guidestones, the subject of many cable TV conspiracy documentaries, was damaged in a bomb attack and then demolished.
August
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand bizarrely claimed to know of secret military UFO videos and sensor data that she also claimed to need a new UFO office to prove they exist.
Lue Elizondo retained Kyle Rittenhouse’s attorney, Todd McMurtry, to advise him on potential action against “commentators” and public officials he accuses of defaming him by asking him for evidence of his claims.
September
Chris Mellon announced aliens are in contact with UFO witnesses while he attended a Spanish UFO conference where he inadvertently posed with a Nazi-sympathizing UFO influencer.
Chris Mellon and Lue Elizondo simultaneously announced no UFO “disclosure” would be forthcoming from the U.S. government, cursed out UFO believers as kooky cultists, and largely withdrew from public life.
October
Robert Schoch proposed that the temple complex at Karnak in Egypt had been deliberately buried in the Ice Age after viewing nineteenth-century photographs of the ruins before they had been cleared of rubble from their medieval collapse and partially restored.
The New York Times abruptly terminated a year of UFO hype when it ran a story sourced to anonymous Pentagon officials revealing that most UFOs turned out to be Chinese drones and aerial debris. Government and media interest in UFOs all but ceased after that, but a UFO office, already embedded in the draft legislation, went ahead anyway.
November
The release of Graham Hancock’s Netflix series Ancient Apocalypse. Every magazine and newspaper went on to condemn Hancock’s illogical speculations and anti-archaeology spleen—that is, except for conservatives, who quickly latched onto the show as a weapon against wokeness and, especially, hated “elites.”
Avi Loeb finally admitted directly that his UFO hunt was a search for a kind of spirit that exists beyond the material world.
December
History 2 (H2) Channel's Scott Wolter decided space aliens helped the Knights Templar found the United States via a medieval Templar Free State in North America.
Kanye West was banned from Twitter after going on an antisemitic tirade and posting the Raëlian UFO cult logo.
The Pentagon held a media conference call to discuss its new UFO office and impending legislation requiring more UFO research. The thrust of the discussion was (a) there is no evidence of space aliens, (b) the Pentagon is primarily focused on identifying drones and unmanned aerial vehicles, and (c.) military sensors are calibrated for enemy aircraft so many anomalies are likely due to sensors picking up data they were not designed to handle.
Some of my favorite conspiracies this year include:
January
Uri Geller announced that he had psychically divined the location of the Ark of the Covenant while dowsing in the museum and that he would recover the Ark. He did not yet recover the Ark.
Ancient Aliens launched the eighteenth season.
Astrophysicist Avi Loeb of Harvard’s Galileo Project continued his push into the paranormal territory by hiring Jacques Vallée, who claimed last year that the U.S. military recovered an avocado-shaped UFO in 1945 piloted by miniature space aliens.
UFO journalist, Leslie Kean, announced her belief that UFOs were deeply connected to consciousness and the afterlife. CNN gave her a five-episode UFO documentary order, but thanks to turmoil at the network, it never aired.
February
Discovery+ and the Travel Channel ran a two-hour hoax documentary claiming missing persons and victims of violent crime have been seized by a hive of newly awakened vampires who descend from a blood-drinking hominid species that evolved 68,000 years ago before settling in Transylvania.
Jacques Vallée received a glossy profile in Wired hailing him as a hero.
Immunologist Garry Nolan claimed that interdimensional space poltergeists are infecting the brains of very intelligent people with space inflammation, and tried to get government funding to study mind parasites and their psychic space powers.
Lue Elizondo cited The Sun tabloid, falsely claiming that a transcript of a 1960s public speech was using a fictitious alien message as a hypothetical code-breaking exercise was a formerly classified NSA report on communicating with space aliens.
March
British archaeologist Timothy Darvill bizarrely claimed that Stonehenge was an ancient calendar of Egyptian origin.
A retired architect claimed that piles of granite ships’ ballast in the Gulf of Mexico off the Louisiana coast are the remains of a 12,000-year-old sunken pyramid city “related” to the Great Pyramids of Giza.
Fox Nation commentator Lara Logan told a right-wing podcast that the Rothschild banking family paid Charles Darwin to develop the theory of evolution as part of an international conspiracy of world domination.
April
The mayor of the town where the ancient site of Göbekli Tepe is located claimed that the temple complex’s stylized carvings of human figures are so unusual that they may depict space aliens.
Ufologist Nick Pope of Ancient Aliens said that after Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, space aliens probably called off their invasion of Earth because they are now afraid of Will Smith, conflating him with his Men in Black character.
Avi Loeb published a piece claiming that a meteor that crashed into the Earth in 2014 could be a piece of alien technology and arguing that it should be recovered from the bottom of the ocean for study.
Nick Pope told a tabloid newspaper that seagulls might be working for space aliens as spies.
May
The United States Congress held the first hearing on UFOs since the 1960s, and Pentagon witnesses effectively made the case that the flap over UFOs is a tempest in a teapot driven by sensationalism. The great UFO flap faded after most UFOs turned out to be drones, balloons, distant lights, and aerial debris, and officials found no evidence of aliens, crashed flying saucers, or other conspiracy claims Congress raised.
June
Lue Elizondo said that he hopes to serve in Congress in the next five years and promptly made his GOP leanings clear with weird comments about Nazis and racial slurs.
July
The Georgia Guidestones, the subject of many cable TV conspiracy documentaries, was damaged in a bomb attack and then demolished.
August
Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand bizarrely claimed to know of secret military UFO videos and sensor data that she also claimed to need a new UFO office to prove they exist.
Lue Elizondo retained Kyle Rittenhouse’s attorney, Todd McMurtry, to advise him on potential action against “commentators” and public officials he accuses of defaming him by asking him for evidence of his claims.
September
Chris Mellon announced aliens are in contact with UFO witnesses while he attended a Spanish UFO conference where he inadvertently posed with a Nazi-sympathizing UFO influencer.
Chris Mellon and Lue Elizondo simultaneously announced no UFO “disclosure” would be forthcoming from the U.S. government, cursed out UFO believers as kooky cultists, and largely withdrew from public life.
October
Robert Schoch proposed that the temple complex at Karnak in Egypt had been deliberately buried in the Ice Age after viewing nineteenth-century photographs of the ruins before they had been cleared of rubble from their medieval collapse and partially restored.
The New York Times abruptly terminated a year of UFO hype when it ran a story sourced to anonymous Pentagon officials revealing that most UFOs turned out to be Chinese drones and aerial debris. Government and media interest in UFOs all but ceased after that, but a UFO office, already embedded in the draft legislation, went ahead anyway.
November
The release of Graham Hancock’s Netflix series Ancient Apocalypse. Every magazine and newspaper went on to condemn Hancock’s illogical speculations and anti-archaeology spleen—that is, except for conservatives, who quickly latched onto the show as a weapon against wokeness and, especially, hated “elites.”
Avi Loeb finally admitted directly that his UFO hunt was a search for a kind of spirit that exists beyond the material world.
December
History 2 (H2) Channel's Scott Wolter decided space aliens helped the Knights Templar found the United States via a medieval Templar Free State in North America.
Kanye West was banned from Twitter after going on an antisemitic tirade and posting the Raëlian UFO cult logo.
The Pentagon held a media conference call to discuss its new UFO office and impending legislation requiring more UFO research. The thrust of the discussion was (a) there is no evidence of space aliens, (b) the Pentagon is primarily focused on identifying drones and unmanned aerial vehicles, and (c.) military sensors are calibrated for enemy aircraft so many anomalies are likely due to sensors picking up data they were not designed to handle.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
![[Image: fkdceegx0aaie-s.jpeg]](https://badinage1.files.wordpress.com/2022/12/fkdceegx0aaie-s.jpeg)
The last time it tried to cut into my wallet, it got sold.
