Stupid things religious people say

[Fake Messiah]

I am reminded of what Ray Romano once said:

But as I grew older, I found my outlook on life changing. I've since converted to a different sect of Catholicism: part-time Catholicism.

Or, as we're called by the other parishioners, the "Easter-Christmas Catholics."

I'm sure you know who we are. There are many of us. And you can always spot us when we do show up in church because we're the ones who don't quite remember the moves.

When to kneel, when to stand, shake a hand, sing a song . . we're lost. We're all just following that one old lady in the front pew.

"Kneel. She's kneeling! All right, up, get up, she's up! Follow her, whatever she does. Wait a minute, she's giving money, don't listen to her."

Although he's trying to be funny, it seems he's portraying a true picture of Catholics, which is that probably most of them don't know when to sit, kneel, or stand, but just follow few people in the church who know, although they might be going to church every Sunday for decades.