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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?

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You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
Jackalope Offline
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#31
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am
We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!
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Rev. Rye Offline Donators
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#32
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 1:37 am (This post was last modified: November 12, 2021 at 1:40 am by Rev. Rye.)
Plant zombie porn on their computers. Maybe gay zombie porn. Or maybe just bestiality porn.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

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Ranjr Offline
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#33
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 10:14 am
Put a Chatty Cathy doll in a dresser drawer.  Rig a coat hanger to lift it's head, opening the eyes.

BTW, if you're staying our guest room, the armoire is completely empty and for you to use.
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Angrboda Offline
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#34
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 10:50 am
If their clothes are sorted in the dresser, rearrange them so that everything is mixed together. Replace all the underwear with underwear that is one size smaller.
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arewethereyet Offline
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#35
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 11:45 am
(November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am)Jackalope Wrote: We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!

Whatever happened to murder hornets? I really thought they were going to be a bigger deal. They just didn't live up to the hype.
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
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Brian37 Offline
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#36
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 12:22 pm
(November 11, 2021 at 1:47 pm)arewethereyet Wrote: [Image: ydr6OJ6.jpg]

I would hide all the remotes.

There is an episode of "The Big Bang Theory, in the early seasons, where Sheldon got upset over how Penny kept her apartment. So he snuck in while she was asleep and cleaned her apartment.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Anomalocaris Offline
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#37
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 2:23 pm
Tranquilize them in their own homes, then detach their residence in its entirety from its foundation, truck it to a much worse part of the town, and set it back down on a new foundation.
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Fireball Offline
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#38
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 2:54 pm
[Image: 9V7SPKr.png]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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Jackalope Offline
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#39
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 12, 2021 at 9:26 pm
(November 12, 2021 at 11:45 am)arewethereyet Wrote:
(November 12, 2021 at 1:32 am)Jackalope Wrote: We've secretly replaced the contents of your cabinets with - MURDER HORNETS!!1!

Whatever happened to murder hornets?  I really thought they were going to be a bigger deal.  They just didn't live up to the hype.

Every once in awhile we hear about a nest being found and destroyed in eastern Washington state.
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Fake Messiah Offline
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#40
RE: You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?
November 13, 2021 at 8:57 am
I would replace the paintings in the living room with my framed dick pics, then I would replace all of their toothbrushes with the ones made with my asshole hair, put seamen into the toothpaste, then have sex with their dog, replace the air in the party balloons with my farts, put pepper spray on their dildoes, stuck women's underpants between sofa cushions, replace their cow milk with breast milk, replace feathers in their pillows with navel fluff, replace the salt in the salt shaker with dandruff.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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You are a specialty burglar, what would you do?



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