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Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
#21
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
(September 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Alabama judges have a history of saying questionable shit. I'm not surprised at all on this one.

Sad but all to true.

Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.
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#22
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
I cant help but sing cadence everytime I see this OP.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#23
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
It isn't just Alabama. There are shitheads like that judge all over the fucking south.
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#24
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
USA, what a retard filled justice system.
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#25
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
I would go to the local Rastafari church. If I had to listen to some religious bullshit every Sunday for a year, at least I could be stoned while I was at it.
"If there are gaps they are in our knowledge, not in things themselves." Chapman Cohen

"Shit-apples don't fall far from the shit-tree, Randy." Mr. Lahey
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#26
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
(September 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm)Strongbad Wrote: I would go to the local Rastafari church. If I had to listen to some religious bullshit every Sunday for a year, at least I could be stoned while I was at it.

Better yet, if you can find the Native American Church, you can get legally protected peyote.

Mescalito beats weed any day.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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#27
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
the definition of church is so exploitable that it'll probably will break the stupid system they are trying to impose
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#28
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
(September 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I would have overwhelmingly chosen jail until I read this...

Quote:If the one-year church attendance program is completed, the offender's case will be dismissed.

If you go to church, the case will be dismissed entirely. That is a tough call.

30 days in jail vs. 52 days in church. Thinking
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
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#29
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
(September 24, 2011 at 10:18 pm)IATIA Wrote:
(September 23, 2011 at 6:00 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I would have overwhelmingly chosen jail until I read this...

Quote:If the one-year church attendance program is completed, the offender's case will be dismissed.

If you go to church, the case will be dismissed entirely. That is a tough call.

30 days in jail vs. 52 days in church. Thinking

More like 52 non-consecutive hours, of course. Granted, those hours may be mind-numbingly dull, but odds are, you will have a handout of all the stuff that's going to happen, and a golf pencil in the pew. Put these to good use and play five-finger fillet. If at all possible, try to learn several variations and use this time to hone your skills. And, of course, no anal rape unless you're an altar boy in a Catholic church. And, besides, if you were to get raped, would you rather get raped by?
[Image: father-maxi_south-park_pictureboxart_160w.jpg] or [Image: Vern_Schillinger.jpg]
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

[Image: harmlesskitchen.png]

I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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#30
RE: Alabama judge says "jail or church?"
I noted in the story that there were some 56 churches "participating" in the program...who the fuck knows how many churches there are in this fucking town.

However, according to Wiki the town has a population of about 7800 people which means, if there are no non-participating churches, that there is one church for every 139 people.

No wonder the south is totally fucked. Way too many parasitical preachers leeching off the population.
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