(August 19, 2015 at 8:56 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 8:51 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: Haha, I can't think of anything more tedious than looking through someone's post history on here and I trust you enough as it is to skip that step. However as a personal policy I try to understand where all people are coming from, even unpleasant people.

That's my approach too and I think it's the right one. I certainly arived at it from a rational point of view. However pleasant and unpleasant are relative notions. I find it a little weird that you seem to imply I am unpleasant to you while at the same time talking about me in the third person in such a matter, as if automatically dismissing me. So that pretty much means you have the same stated outlook as I do concerning evaluation of individuals but not necessarily that you follow through with your own ideas by translating them into actions.

I was talking to Rebecca. How else do you expect me to talk about someone who isn't her? That's how the third person works.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:00 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 8:56 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote: That's my approach too and I think it's the right one. I certainly arived at it from a rational point of view. However pleasant and unpleasant are relative notions. I find it a little weird that you seem to imply I am unpleasant to you while at the same time talking about me in the third person in such a matter, as if automatically dismissing me. So that pretty much means you have the same stated outlook as I do concerning evaluation of individuals but not necessarily that you follow through with your own ideas by translating them into actions.

I was talking to Rebecca. How else do you expect me to talk about someone who isn't her? That's how the third person works.

That's not exactly what I meant. You never told me to my face( so to speak) that you find me to be unpleasant, yet you jumped right to it when talking with someone else about me - or at least strongly implied it by how you phrased it.

I see now. There's a typo involved. Here's how what I said was meant to read as:

"...in the third person in such a manner...", not "... in the third person in such a matter...". Thus my explanation from above. Sorry for the confusion.

(August 19, 2015 at 7:21 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 7:16 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: Even if they've made a promise to someone who trusts them that they won't sleep with other people?

A promise doesn't change anything at all. Promises are for idiots, anyway. We shouldn't promise anything since we can't exactly control our own future circumstances(no matter how potent the illusion that we can is) in order to make sure we can respect that promise before we even consider making it.

Nothing wrong with breaking a promise and ending a relationship that's not working for you. But, when people cheat, they don't give the other person a chance to opt out. That person is being faithful, while the other is fucking around. Ending the relationship would be the better idea.

I don't believe in marriage, because I don't believe that men and women are really cut out for monogamy for the long haul, from a biological perspective. Seeing as the divorce rate is so high, I don't think I'm far off in this assumption.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:06 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 7:21 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote: A promise doesn't change anything at all. Promises are for idiots, anyway. We shouldn't promise anything since we can't exactly control our own future circumstances(no matter how potent the illusion that we can is) in order to make sure we can respect that promise before we even consider making it.

Nothing wrong with breaking a promise and ending a relationship that's not working for you. But, when people cheat, they don't give the other person a chance to opt out. That person is being faithful, while the other is fucking around. Ending the relationship would be the better idea.

I don't believe in marriage, because I don't believe that men and women are really cut out for monogamy for the long haul, from a biological perspective. Seeing as the divorce rate is so high, I don't think I'm far off in this assumption.

You've got to admit though that it makes sense for a sexually active person if they're worried about catching something bad. Enforced laws against cheating make sense too in this context. I just never thought about it like that.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:03 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 9:00 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: I was talking to Rebecca. How else do you expect me to talk about someone who isn't her? That's how the third person works.

That's not exactly what I meant. You never told me to my face( so to speak) that you find me to be unpleasant, yet you jumped right to it when talking with someone else about me - or at least strongly implied it by how you phrased it.

I mean it's a forum, it's not like because I posted it as a reply to Rebbecca (Someone who I have interact a fair amount with and actually almost met in real life) doesn't mean I expected you not to read it.  I lurk these forums probably more than I participate and yes, you are unpleasant as an internet poster. That doesn't really mean much in how you are as a person in real life though. I mean pretty much everything you post is trying to start an argument or be inflamatory. Now there is room for debate and it is a forum where debate is a key element, but posting a million things that is mostly just trying to stir up shit is pretty unpleasant. Now like I said, I try to rationalize why people are unpleasant and assume the best and you might have your reasons. Age might be one of them.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:10 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 9:06 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Nothing wrong with breaking a promise and ending a relationship that's not working for you. But, when people cheat, they don't give the other person a chance to opt out. That person is being faithful, while the other is fucking around. Ending the relationship would be the better idea.

I don't believe in marriage, because I don't believe that men and women are really cut out for monogamy for the long haul, from a biological perspective. Seeing as the divorce rate is so high, I don't think I'm far off in this assumption.

You've got to admit though that it makes sense for a sexually active person if they're worried about catching something bad. Enforced laws against cheating make sense too in this context. I just never thought about it like that.

Enforced laws against cheating? 

I believe there were enforced laws against cheating back during Biblical times. And currently in parts of the middle east. Not sure we want to live like that. lol

(August 19, 2015 at 9:12 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 9:03 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote: That's not exactly what I meant. You never told me to my face( so to speak) that you find me to be unpleasant, yet you jumped right to it when talking with someone else about me - or at least strongly implied it by how you phrased it.

I mean it's a forum, it's not like because I posted it as a reply to Rebbecca (Someone who I have interact a fair amount with and actually almost met in real life) doesn't mean I expected you not to read it.  I lurk these forums probably more than I participate and yes, you are unpleasant as an internet poster. That doesn't really mean much in how you are as a person in real life though. I mean pretty much everything you post is trying to start an argument or be inflamatory. Now there is room for debate and it is a forum where debate is a key element, but posting a million things that is mostly just trying to stir up shit is pretty unpleasant. Now like I said, I try to rationalize why people are unpleasant and assume the best and you might have your reasons. Age might be one of them.

I can see that you're taking a very emotional approach to everything. This might be why you read me in a certain (false) way, like our friend Rebecca here.

I'm not an unreasonable person. I do not seek to start flame wars or heated debates about everything. This is only an impression I give out to certain types of people. It doesn't mean it describes me all that well. You shouldn't underestimate my own self-awareness or intelect either, based merely on my age or other mysterious non-mentioned factors. Also, I don't subscribe to the view that just because everyone says there's something wrong with the way I act that there genuinely is. A lot of the time, when evaluating individual attitudes and actions one fails to take in context - the larger picture, that is.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:18 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:

(August 19, 2015 at 9:10 pm)excitedpenguin Wrote: You've got to admit though that it makes sense for a sexually active person if they're worried about catching something bad. Enforced laws against cheating make sense too in this context. I just never thought about it like that.

Enforced laws against cheating? 

I believe there were enforced laws against cheating back during Biblical times. And currently in parts of the middle east. Not sure we want to live like that. lol

A simple google search like " is cheating illegal " will get you some quite surprising results, like this one, from only just 2014:

Quote:Adultery isn't just a crime in the eyes of your spouse. In 21 states,cheating in a marriage is against the law, punishable by a fine or even jail time. The New Hampshire Legislature is voting on a law Thursday that would repeal its anti-adultery law.

http://archive.freep.com/article/2014041...-21-states

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Given the STDs risk, I would argue that depending on the situation, it should be illegal to cheat in such a union of which the whole purpose was to avoid such risks in the firstplace. I wouldn't advocate illegalising cheating for any other reason or in any situation in life where this kind of marriage is not involved.

People cheat for all sorts of reasons: it's not all malicious. Maybe the person feels like they're trapped in a relationship with someone they don't love due to cultural or social pressures, yet need some release elsewhere. Maybe they got unwantonly tempted being placed in the wrong position at the wrong time. Maybe they thought initially they were monogamous in attitude, realized eventually they were not, but are too afraid to speak about it to the spouse, so they do it in private. Nobody knows the reasons exactly for every individual case.

(August 19, 2015 at 9:48 pm)Irrational Wrote: People cheat for all sorts of reasons: it's not all malicious. Maybe the person feels like they're trapped in a relationship with someone they don't love due to cultural or social pressures, yet need some release elsewhere. Maybe they got unwantonly tempted being placed in the wrong position at the wrong time. Maybe they thought initially they were monogamous in attitude, realized eventually they were not, but are too afraid to speak about it to the spouse, so they do it in private. Nobody knows the reasons exactly for every individual case.

Oh yeah, I agree. Those reasons are all super cowardly though. I think cowardice is way more a factor than maliciousness.