I like to treat people nice by default, but if they screw with me, they'll receive at least twice as much in return. I am very vocal, and short-tempered, and would never back down from protesting where I feel it's due.

I'm only kind to my grandchildren. Everybody else is fair game for bitch me.

I'm overall a rather distant person. At times I get clingy to people I like, regardless of their feelings. If somebody bothers me, I will get more distant and/or fake, and if it turns to something that I find dangerous or threatening, I will speak up.

However, due in part to speech differences neurologically related to my spina bifida, my standing up for myself often sounds pathetic.

Others often find me a "nice guy". Sometimes that puzzles me.

In the spirit of fairness and equality - I try not to be kind to anyone.

I am respectful and kind to everyone until a person shows that they will not reciprocate that respect to others. Then I treat them as they treat others. I see no reason to play nice to anybody that sees me as someone undeserving of the same respect they give themselves.

(August 30, 2015 at 11:09 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Are you nice to people who aren't nice to you (first) or are you nice to all people? In other words, are you a 'give what you have received' type of person? Just curious.

I tend to treat everyone well, but if someone disrespects me in some way, or devalues my friendship, I won't treat them in the same way, but I may just back away, and keep my distance. I don't believe you need to stoop to someone's level, or seek revenge simply because they have wronged you. But, just curious how you all approach things like this?

I give everyone a basic amount of respect. After that, I reward kindness with kindness.

I don't find revenge or grudgery to be good for my own well-being, so I don't engage in them, but if someone has been consistently rude to me I may on occasion say something. Generally, my MO is to keep them out of my life, and only explain if they ask.

Here online, I will return rudeness for rudeness.

(August 30, 2015 at 11:17 pm)Deidre32 Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:15 pm)Kitan Wrote: I am the type of individual who responds to friendliness with friendliness and to rudeness with rudeness.  

Except for at work, where one is forced to unnaturally respect the idiots of the world who need to be fucking shot in the head.

Now, that's interesting. So, you give what you have received. In a way, I see nothing wrong with it...for how will anyone learn the error of their ways? I feel like I'm rewarding bad behavior if I just treat people kindly, despite their mistreatment of me. Is that your mindset?

Yes, none of us want to reward bad behavior. The idea is though, in my opinion, is to kindly tell them they are being rude and that you will not stand around if they continue to treat you this way.

Being kind doesn't necessarily mean you have to let people walk all over you, it just means you won't return insult with more insult. 

(August 31, 2015 at 12:38 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:17 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Now, that's interesting. So, you give what you have received. In a way, I see nothing wrong with it...for how will anyone learn the error of their ways? I feel like I'm rewarding bad behavior if I just treat people kindly, despite their mistreatment of me. Is that your mindset?

Yes, none of us want to reward bad behavior. The idea is though, in my opinion, is to kindly tell them they are being rude and that you will not stand around if they continue to treat you this way.

Being kind doesn't necessarily mean you have to let people walk all over you, it just means you won't return insult with more insult. 

agree & well stated! 

(August 31, 2015 at 12:05 pm)Faith No More Wrote: I am respectful and kind to everyone until a person shows that they will not reciprocate that respect to others.  Then I treat them as they treat others.  I see no reason to play nice to anybody that sees me as someone undeserving of the same respect they give themselves.

I'm glad I asked this here, because I struggle with it all sometimes, and it's nice to see your responses. I think you're right. I tend to just cut and run when dealing with difficult people, I sometimes don't even say 'you've done this or that.' My view is everyone can have a bad day here and there, but if the behavior is chronic, that's when it might be time to distance one's self from the insulting party.   thx for sharing 

(August 31, 2015 at 12:32 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote:

(August 30, 2015 at 11:09 pm)Deidre32 Wrote: Are you nice to people who aren't nice to you (first) or are you nice to all people? In other words, are you a 'give what you have received' type of person? Just curious.

I tend to treat everyone well, but if someone disrespects me in some way, or devalues my friendship, I won't treat them in the same way, but I may just back away, and keep my distance. I don't believe you need to stoop to someone's level, or seek revenge simply because they have wronged you. But, just curious how you all approach things like this?

I give everyone a basic amount of respect. After that, I reward kindness with kindness.

I don't find revenge or grudgery to be good for my own well-being, so I don't engage in them, but if someone has been consistently rude to me I may on occasion say something. Generally, my MO is to keep them out of my life, and only explain if they ask.

Here online, I will return rudeness for rudeness.

Online you return rudeness for rudeness? lol  The beauty of online, is with a few clicks, you can place someone on ignore.
Too bad there is no magical button like this IRL.