Hi everybody. So I'm completely new here. I'd like to start off by apologising for jumping straight into asking a question before properly introducing myself or contributing to any other discussion.
However, I am facing quite a difficult recently developed situation and need as much help as I can get. 

So me and my girlfriend has been in a relationship for 2,5 years now. We met on the Internet so we were long distance for a long time. But 6 months ago I decided to move and it was the best decision of my life. My girlfriend, who used to be more of a cultural Muslim, a deistic non practicing Muslim I suppose would be the best description. While I'm an atheist. 
Ive never really had much of a problem with her beliefs at all since they were extremely minuscule. 
Her parents has tried countless of times to push her to become more invested in "her" religion. Start praying, listen to God, confess your sins, follow the quran and all of that good stuff, mind the sarcasm. 
However yesterday her auntie died completely out of nowhere. So when she was grieving, we went to her parents house. Whiles she was extremely vulnerable, her parents decided to start talking to her and convincing her to do all of the things previously mentioned. 
She completely broke down crying apologising for not following the teachings and promising her dad to start investing in Islam. I was in another room overhearing this which made me feel disgusted with her parents, but also it kind of broke my heart hearing her give in to their bullying. She's now decided to start reading the quran, praying and so on. 

Which is where my problem comes in. Because now I know that they can manipulate her into following "her" religion. Before the thought of getting married to her without me having to convert didn't seem like a big issue, since she said herself that she wouldn't let her parents decide on who she could and couldn't marry. Now that I know they can manipulate her, I'm not so sure anymore. Its not just about her religion, I'm worried about compatability now as well. Atheism and deism is one thing, there's not much of a conflict there. Islam is a different story though. 

Does anyone have any experience of anything like this? Are there any other implications? Perhaps I'm overreacting? 

Any input would be greatly appreciated

Guess you have to cross the bridge when you come to it. If I were in your shoes I'd just wait and see if she is really going full retard into Islam. If so, I'd have to at some point let her know my own thoughts on the matter.

Then the choice is really hers. Does she value you over religion. Are you fine if she doesn't? Are you willing to accept 'converting' in order to marry her? Are you comfortable with her beliefs and her submission to her parents?

Tough questions but they aren't going to just suddenly disappear unless this is just a phase she's going through. Doesn't sound like it is, but time will ultimately tell.

Welcome.

This just happened within the last couple of days. With the raw emotions of a recent death attached. You need to give this more time and then reassess the situation.

Yeah. Keep cool and talk to her when grief has subsided.

(October 11, 2015 at 9:58 am)ponhei9502 Wrote: mind the sarcasm. 

Just had to quote that part... you're gonna fit right in, here.

I don't have much advice to offer you, I'm afraid, other than what was already offered. Don't lose your trust in her simply because she's in an emotionally-vulnerable place. Just be supportive... sometimes, people have to come before ideologies. Love her a little more than usual, and be there for her. In time she will see their manipulation for what it is, most likely, and will see that you didn't try to push things on her when she was in a vulnerable place. On the other hand, if she goes "full braindead" on the faith-tradition of her youth, there's not much you can do except to let her decide if she is willing to fight against that indoctrination to be with you... or not. If not, then she is doing you a favor by showing you that you're not as important to her as her own family, and in which case, why would you want to make a new family with her?

That's not to say it won't be emotionally traumatizing and painful for you to let go of your hopes for this relationship, when the time comes, but don't surrender in-advance. 

Good luck! You're going to have to be very strong.

(October 11, 2015 at 10:07 am)Napoléon Wrote: Guess you have to cross the bridge when you come to it. If I were in your shoes I'd just wait and see if she is really going full retard into Islam. If so, I'd have to at some point let her know my own thoughts on the matter.

Then the choice is really hers. Does she value you over religion. Are you fine if she doesn't? Are you willing to accept 'converting' in order to marry her? Are you comfortable with her beliefs and her submission to her parents?

Tough questions but they aren't going to just suddenly disappear unless this is just a phase she's going through. Doesn't sound like it is, but time will ultimately tell.

(October 11, 2015 at 10:07 am)mh.brewer Wrote: Welcome.

This just happened within the last couple of days. With the raw emotions of a recent death attached. You need to give this more time and then reassess the situation.

I'm pretty sure youre both right in that only time will tell. Its still very fresh. Hearing her reaction and seeing her afterwards was fairly telling though. 
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I could hear her previous defences and willpower crack through the walls when I heard her apologise and promise to invest in Islam. Worst case scenario and she really did crack and goes through with it all, got any advice? 
The fact that she did crack makes me paranoid about what she might give into in the future. I honestly don't know if I'm comfortable with that, knowing what the quran says about atheism. Obviously there are a lot of factors that could change this scenario. However different opinions and experiences does help.
I'd rather prepare for the worst than not be prepared for the worst if it does happen.

This is not a good time to panic about religion. Emotions are raw for everyone in her family. Don't assume anything at all right now. Also very very important to remember: This is not about you. Let her do what she needs to do with her family, and don't put any pressure on her, that's the last thing she needs right now. Chill and wait a few months to discuss this.

(October 11, 2015 at 10:13 am)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:

(October 11, 2015 at 9:58 am)ponhei9502 Wrote: mind the sarcasm. 

Just had to quote that part... you're gonna fit right in, here.

I don't have much advice to offer you, I'm afraid, other than what was already offered. Don't lose your trust in her simply because she's in an emotionally-vulnerable place. Just be supportive... sometimes, people have to come before ideologies. Love her a little more than usual, and be there for her. In time she will see their manipulation for what it is, most likely, and will see that you didn't try to push things on her when she was in a vulnerable place. On the other hand, if she goes "full braindead" on the faith-tradition of her youth, there's not much you can do except to let her decide if she is willing to fight against that indoctrination to be with you... or not. If not, then she is doing you a favor by showing you that you're not as important to her as her own family, and in which case, why would you want to make a new family with her?

That's not to say it won't be emotionally traumatizing and painful for you to let go of your hopes for this relationship, when the time comes, but don't surrender in-advance. 

Good luck! You're going to have to be very strong.

Happy to hear I'll fit well! Look forward to investing some time here.

That honestly helps a lot. If I can help her through this hopefully she'll realise how manipulative her parents are. I'm from Sweden so I've never seen anything like this before in my whole life before. Manipulating someone when they're this vulnerable with your religious dogma. That person being my girlfriend as well? Makes it difficult to contain my frustration. Could contribute to why this hit me so hard. I'm definitely going to follow your advice though.

I really can't express how much I appreciate all of your inputs. Can't imagine I would've gotten this level of quality if I had gone to yahoo answers.

We can be harsh too. Its a pool of sharks here. You only need to mind the turds our most religious fellows leave while swimming from gnawing teeth.

I would like to add one additional thought I had, upon re-reading this.

Have you considered the possibility that she was just placating her grieving parents by agreeing to put on a show of faith, for their behalf?

Remember, you overheard a conversation she did not necessarily know you were listening to, and she may have just been saying what she knew they wanted to hear, since they were already dealing with the death of a sibling. I agree the overheard discussion is a bit panic-inducing, but consider that it may have shocked you emotionally enough for you to form some unfounded conclusions about her.

And as I said before, remember that fighting your childhood indoctrination can be hard, especially in really strict sects like Islam. The fact that she even came to her Deistic position means she has a degree of honor and intellectual integrity. Even if she is falling back on the crutch of her childhood, for emotional support with the people she loves, it doesn't mean she's jumped into the pit of woo entirely.